I Didn't Mean to Love You
by iwannagibbs
Summary: KIBBS AU Jethro runs into Kate many months after AF1. She never left the Secret Service. They get together but will it last?
1. Chapter 1

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 1

"That was a delicious meal, Jethro. Thank you."

"My pleasure, Duck. You earned it on this case. We'd still be stumbling around if you hadn't found that needle mark on our Petty Officer."

"All in a days work. But, I admit, this was a difficult one. Not unlike a case we had last year. The young man who was found in the dump. Remember?"

"Yeah. That was a puzzle for sure."

Gibbs and Ducky were finishing dinner at an upscale Georgetown restaurant. Gibbs was treating his friend as a show of appreciation for the Medical Examiner's exemplary work on their most recent murder case. And, because they hadn't shared a meal, just the two of them, in a long time.

Gibbs was a notoriously private person where his personal life was concerned. He rarely spent his non-working hours with anyone; at least not anyone his colleagues at NCIS knew. Ducky was the exception. Jethro had known Dr. Mallard longer than anyone in his life except his dad and Mike Franks, his first boss at NCIS. He trusted Ducky completely and when he had at one time been estranged from his father, Ducky filled had the void left by that estrangement. Ducky had seen Jethro through this three marriages and the divorces that followed. He was one of a very few people who knew about Jethro's first wife and child and their deaths. The two men had enormous respect for each other as well as great affection.

No one could get past the wall of privacy Gibbs had long ago erected around his life but Ducky could occasionally get a peak over the top or around a briefly unguarded corner. If he was very careful that is. He decided tonight just might be one of those nights when Jethro would talk to him.

"Have you spoken to Jack lately?"

Jethro looked at him over the rim of his glass and wondered where that had come from and where it was going.

"Couple of weeks ago. He's fine."

"I'm glad to hear that. He misses you, Jethro. You know that don't you?"

"I guess. Why you bringing my dad up tonight, Duck?"

"Just making conversation. Sometimes I tire of talking about work. Are you seeing anyone these days?"

Jethro laughed and put his napkin on the table. Obviously, this dinner was going to cost him more than what was on the check the waiter had left. Ducky was expecting information along with his supper.

"Tell you what Duck, why don't you order us a nightcap and I'll meet you in the bar."

"Good idea."

Jethro stood up as the young man who had been waiting on them came back with his credit card and the bill. He signed the receipt and headed to the men's room as Ducky stepped into the bar in the next room.

As Ducky entered the bar he noticed a table of about eight or ten people in the far corner. They were obviously celebrating something and having a good time doing it. Ducky settled on a stool at the corner of the large, polished bar and when the barkeeper approached he ordered a Scotch neat for himself and a Bourbon the same way for Jethro. This restaurant was one of his favorites because the food was excellent and they had this splendid, old style bar. And, there were always lots of attractive people to watch. Ducky loved people and this particular bar was an excellent place to indulge his people watching habit.

Ducky had settled in his seat and was just reaching for his drink when he felt a gentle hand on his back. When he turned he was met with a familiar and very lovely face.

"My goodness, Caitlyn, how are you?"

"Hello Ducky, I'm fine. I just realized it was you sitting here and I had to come over and say hello. How have you been? It's been too long since I saw you."

"Yes it has been too long. I'm fine, my dear. Are you here with friends?"

"Yes, that rather rowdy crowd over in the corner. One of our agents is being transferred to Los Angeles and we're having a farewell party for him. Are you here alone?"

Just as she asked, Jethro walked up and stood behind her.

"No, he's with me."

It had been a long time but Jethro immediately recognized Caitlyn Todd when he saw her talking to Ducky. Even from the back.

Kate turned at the sound of the familiar voice and felt just the smallest tingle down her spine. Jethro Gibbs. It had been much too long.

"Agent Gibbs. Very nice to see you."

"Hello, Agent Todd. Are you joining us?"

Kate smiled at him and he too felt just a little something stirring in him. She looked good. She smelled really good.

"No, I just came over to say hello to Ducky. I'm with friends tonight."

Kate leaned in and gave Ducky a kiss on the cheek.

"It was so good to see you Ducky. And you too, of course", she gave Gibbs another smile.

"It was lovely to see you Caitlyn. You must come see us at the Navy Yard. I'm sure Abby would like to see you."

"Thank you Ducky. I'm in touch with Abby every now and then. Tell her I said hello."

Kate put her hand on Jethro's arm as she turned to leave.

"Gibbs."

"Agent Todd."

With that Kate walked away to rejoin her friends. Jethro watched her go and Ducky watched him watching her.

"She is just as pretty as ever wouldn't you say, Jethro?"

"Yeah, she is."

"Did the two of you ever. . ."

"No."

"That's too bad. I think Agent Todd would be a good match for you Jethro. She'd stand up to you and not be intimidated by your sometimes less than gracious manners."

"My manners are fine, Duck."

Jethro had turned back to the bar and was sipping his drink. He had to agree, Kate looked very good tonight. And no, she was definitely not intimidated by him or his manners. She was a good match for him he agreed with that too. The issue was he was not a good match for her. That was the reason the two of them had never gotten together after Air Force One. He knew she was interested but he shut that down and didn't let himself do anything about it. Eventually, he got busy and after a few months and several bottles of Jack he let go of the idea of Kate Todd.

"You alright, Jethro?"

"Sure, I'm fine. And the answer to your previous question about me seeing anyone is no, I'm not."

Ducky just smiled at him and let the nugget of an idea take root in his mind. Kate and Jethro would be perfect for each other he thought. He'd thought so from the first time they laid eyes on each other aboard Air Force One almost a year ago. And when Kate had threatened to shoot him, well that just confirmed it for Ducky. But apparently the two of them never took the next step. Well, perhaps they just needed a push in the right direction. He knew Jethro surely did.

Kate returned to her friends but her thoughts stayed with the two men at the bar. Even though it had been a nerve racking and dangerous case, the incident aboard AF One had certainly had its positive side. She was very taken with Agent Gibbs and by the time the case was over she felt there was something clicking between them. She was as obvious as she could be without throwing herself at him but in the end Gibbs didn't reciprocate. After a few weeks, during which she started to call him several times, she accepted that she had misread the situation. Then she got very busy and the weeks and months flew by. She had kept in touch with Abby and had seen Ducky once or twice when she met Abby at NCIS to go to lunch but she had not seen Gibbs again until tonight.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a friend, "Hey, Kate who's that guy at the bar?"

"Which one?"

"Don't give me that. The one in the black suit, gray hair. He's quite attractive."

"Yeah, he is. He's an NCIS agent. He was the one on the Air Force One case with me. Gibbs is his name. The other gentleman is their ME."

"Why are you over here with us? You should be over there getting reacquainted."

"No, he's not interested in me. Thought he was at one point but I was mistaken."

"He sure was interested in watching you walk all the way back over here. And he's been watching you in the bar mirror."

"Trust me, Lynne, he's not interested in me. Maybe he's looking at you. You look great in that dress by the way."

"Don't kid yourself, Kate. I know these things."

Kate looked back at the bar and saw Ducky and Jethro laughing together. No, he wasn't interested in her. Too bad she thought, because she was still interested in him.

Ducky and Jethro finished their drinks and left the restaurant. Ducky caught Kate's eye as they were leaving and waved goodbye to her. Jethro looked over but did not acknowledge her.

Kate stayed a while longer with her friends and coworkers but she found her heart wasn't in the celebration anymore. Her mind kept wandering to Gibbs and how great he looked in that suit. And, she couldn't forget what it had felt like when he held her in that tiny bathroom on Air Force One. Of course at the time she thought he was a real bastard; and she'd been right. But what a handsome, sexy, intriguing bastard he was.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 2

Gibbs and his team caught a nasty case on Monday and worked it almost non-stop until late Wednesday night. Even Abby and Ducky were pulling late nights trying to figure this one out. Eventually, as usual, they got the pieces to fit together and on Thursday morning they arrested the bad guy they'd been working so hard to find. That meant paperwork all day Thursday and most of Friday but it was okay because they were all exhausted and ready for a quiet Friday and a do-nothing weekend.

While the team was upstairs doing their reports on Friday morning, Ducky visited Abby in her lab. The nugget of an idea that had taken root the previous Friday had been growing just a tiny bit and Ducky thought Abby might be able to help him nudge it along.

"Hey, Ducky what are you doing here in my humble abode?"

"Abigail, let's talk in private if you have a moment."

Abby was suddenly alert because she recognized the gleam in Ducky's eyes. He was scheming and Abby loved nothing more than a good scheme.

"Sure, Duckman, what's up? You have something cooking in that brain of yours I can tell. What is it? You know I love it when you plot and scheme."

"Yes, I do have something I'd like to have your help with but it must be on the down low, as you young people say these days. I mean very, very low. As in secret."

"I get you. Who are we talking about here, Ducky?"

"Jethro. And Kate."

Abby almost jumped out of her chair. She had always thought those two should get together but her feeble efforts to help that along many months ago had failed miserably. If Ducky was on the task though it just might work.

"Yes! I'm in. Whatever you want to do I'll help. Why are you on this now Ducky?"

"Jethro and I ran into Kate when we were having dinner last Friday night. She was in the same restaurant we were and when we went into the bar for a drink after dinner she saw me and came over. Jethro was away at that moment but came back while Kate and I were talking. They were cordial but somewhat stilted with each other. I think Jethro is still smitten with her. Do you know if she is seeing anyone?"

"I don't know but I doubt it. She really likes Gibbs or at least she did a few months ago. I tried to get them together a couple of times but it never worked out. I'd love to give it another try. Do you think Gibbs will kill us if we do this?"

"He will probably threaten but of course we're perfectly safe."

Abby rolled her eyes and rubbed her hands together in excitement.

"Do you have a plan Ducky?"

"Just a vague idea. I think we just need to get them together in a situation where Jethro would be more or less forced to spend time with Kate. You know how reluctant he is to get close to anyone. However, if Kate is as persuasive as I think she is it won't take very long for her to break him down."

"I agree. And if we can get them to the same place at the same time and leave them alone Gibbs is too much of a gentleman to go off and leave her there."

The co-conspirators sat in silence for almost five minutes before Abby raised her hands and exclaimed, "I've got it. I know how to do it. I invite Kate out for drinks. You do the same with Gibbs. You're late and when Kate and I get there I get her to go in first and then I drive off. She's stuck there and Gibbs will be waiting for you so he won't leave right away. After I drop Kate off I'll call you and then you call Gibbs and say you can't make it. Blame your mom or something. It won't matter what you say because once they start talking they'll know we set them up. We'll only get one shot at this and if they don't make it work we'll be sunk. What do you think?"

"It could work. You need to arrange with Kate first and then I'll get Jethro there."

"What if he won't go with you? Sometimes he's not very social you know."

"Yes, I know that very well. Don't you worry about that, I'll get him there. I'm not above playing on our friendship in circumstances as important as these."

"I'm going to call Kate right now and see if she wants to meet me tonight. Since the case is closed maybe Gibbs will go with you to celebrate."

"It's awfully short notice. Should we wait until next week?"

"No! I can't stand the excitement for whole week. Let's strike while the iron is hot, Ducky. I'm afraid Gibbs would know I'm plotting if he has a whole week to be around me. I'm calling Kate now."

Ducky just sat back and smiled as he watched Abby scroll through her phone for Kate's number. He hoped this worked the first time because they most likely wouldn't get a second chance. The idea seemed good but they certainly hadn't taken much time to talk out any possible problems. Well, he'd just trust Abby to do her part and he would do his and then it would be up to Jethro and Kate. Ducky listened as Abby connected with Kate.

"Hey, Kate how are you? I was just talking to Ducky and he said he ran into you last week."

"_Yes, I saw him and Gibbs out and about. How are you Abby? I keep meaning to call you but work has been crazy."_

"I know, for me too. Listen, are you busy tonight? We just closed a wild case and I could use some company that isn't someone I've spent all week with. Are you up for a drink and some hanging out?"

"_You know, that sounds terrific. You want to meet somewhere?"_

"I'd love to see your new place. How about I pick you up about 7:30, you give me a tour and then we head out."

"_Sounds like a plan. Where are we going? I mean casual, dressy or what?"_

"Let's do casual. I'm excited to see you. Be there around 7:30."

"_Great. Thanks for calling Abby. See you this evening." _

Abby had a huge smile on her face and Ducky was pleased that the first part of the plan had gone so smoothly.

"We didn't talk about where to go. Some place casual that Gibbs will feel comfortable with. I want him to be relaxed so he'll stay a while with Kate. Maybe get something to eat. What do you suggest, Ducky?"

"How about the Tavern? I know Jethro likes it and we have met there several times for drinks so he won't be suspicious if I ask him to meet me there. It's casual as you suggested and they can get food there if they want."

"That's perfect. Kate and I have actually been there for lunch so I know she likes it and won't think anything of us going there."

"Good work Abby. Now, let's hope our little ploy is successful."

Ducky gave Abby a quick hug and started for the door.

"I'll go up and ask Jethro to meet me there at 8:00. You have Kate there a few minutes after. How do you plan to get her in ahead of yourself?"

"I'll have Tim call me at 8:00 and I'll tell her to go in and get us a seat while I talk to him. I'll let her off and go to park the car. This is going to be so fun but I wish we could be there to see it happen. You know Gibbs won't tell us a thing. I'll have to get all the scoop from Kate. If one of them doesn't kill us first."

"Yes, it would be fun to be there and see it unfold but I think I'll feel safer if I'm at home. Good luck on your end. Call me when you've dropped Kate and gotten safely away."

Ducky and Abby shared a laugh and hugged then Ducky left and Abby got back to work. Anxiety kept Abby on edge all day and she was thankful she had nothing in the works for Gibbs' team. If she had had to face him during the day it would have driven her mad. When five o'clock finally rolled around she was quickly out of the lab and on her way home.

Ducky too was grateful he had no reason to encounter Jethro during the rest of the day. As he was leaving shortly before five he detoured to the squad room to fulfill his part of the plan.

"Hey, Duck you on your way out?"

"Yes, it was a blissfully quiet day and I'm glad for the respite after the week we all had. Would you care to join me for a drink later this evening, Jethro? Mother has some friends coming over and I will surely want to be out of the house."

"Sure, what time do you need to escape?"

"Why don't we meet at the Tavern about eight o'clock."

"Sounds good. I'll see you then."

"Splendid. See you later then."

Ducky happily took the elevator down to the parking garage and called Abby to let her know he had managed his end of the deal. So far so good he told her.

The two plotters had indeed hatched a successful plan. At least as far as they had control of the situation it was successful. Abby arrived at Kate's shortly before seven thirty. She didn't want to be there too early as she was not sure how long she could be with Kate without giving away the plan. She had not seen Kate's new townhouse and after a tour the two ladies set out for the rendezvous spot. Abby of course insisted on driving, promising Kate they would call a cab if necessary later.

"It was so good to see Ducky last Friday. How is his mother these days?"

"I think she's still doing well. She has all those little dogs and they drive Ducky crazy. She really dotes on them and tells Ducky they're like her children. I don't think he really appreciates that comparison."

"No I'm sure he doesn't", Kate laughed. "I'll tell you Abby, he and Gibbs looked pretty good. They were both wearing suits. I don't think I'd ever seen Gibbs in a suit. I was afraid to ask the occasion. You know some people only get dressed up for funerals or job interviews."

"I know. I love Gibbs in a suit but it's a rare occasion. I think they were just celebrating a case closing and Ducky chose that restaurant which is kinda dressy. But Gibbs was treating so he did it for Ducky. I think he'd do anything for Ducky."

"And for you. And probably Tony and McGee."

"True."

Abby stole a glance at the clock and saw it was nearing eight o'clock. They were only about five minutes from the restaurant. As they pulled into the parking lot Abby quickly scanned the half filled lot and saw Gibbs' car was there. She drove to a row nearer the back of the lot and parked. Stalling for a few moments she fixed her lipstick and straightened her pony tails. Then she and Kate got out and walked toward the door. They were almost at the door when Abby's phone rang. Timothy was right on time as usual. Abby stopped to dig her phone out of her bag and checked the caller ID.

"Oh shoot, it's McGee. I have to take this, it might be about a case. Why don't you go in and get us a seat at the bar and I'll be right there. It's too loud in there for the phone."

"Okay. Should I get a table?"

"Let's sit at the bar for a while and see what's happening. We might just have one drink and then move on."

"Good idea. Okay, I'll get us a spot. Can I order for you?"

"No, I won't be a minute. I'll just see what he wants and hopefully take care of this really quickly."

Kate headed into the restaurant while Abby turned back toward her car and answered McGee's call. Abby was sure Gibbs was inside because she recognized his car in the second row. She wanted so badly to sneak in and watch but she knew that would not be a good idea for several reasons. Not the least of which was it would ruin the plan.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for the follows and reviews.**

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 3

As Abby was forcing herself to drive away, Kate stepped into the bar area and almost immediately saw Gibbs at the far end of the bar. He was sitting by himself but there were empty seats on either side of him. She wondered to herself what the odds were of her running into Jethro twice in two weeks when she hadn't seen him even once in the previous six months. Not very good odds she decided. Kate stood looking at him and knew in her bones that Abby was not going to be coming in the door anytime soon. Gibbs had not seen her yet so she took the opportunity to enjoy looking at him for a few moments. _Geez he is so handsome. Even with that too short haircut he is one sexy man. _

Kate took a deep breath and started toward him. When she was four seats away from him Jethro looked up and saw her. And he smiled. Kate suddenly felt much better. The butterflies in her stomach settled down and she felt herself able to breathe again. She stood next to the empty stool on Gibbs' right and took in his casual appearance and the half finished drink in his hands.

"Hello again, Gibbs."

"Agent Todd. Seems I just saw you last Friday night. Are you stalking me?"

Kate laughed. "No, I assure you I'm not. Let me guess, you're waiting on someone and he's a few minutes late."

"As a matter fact yes. Ducky, and he's never late. Unless Palmer is driving which I doubt would be the case tonight."

_Gosh he's in a good mood. Two quips in one conversation. This might be a fun night after all._

"I thought so. Well, I can assure you he's not coming."

"And how do you know that? In fact how did you know I was waiting on someone in the first place?"

"Because I was dropped off by Abby who said she had to take a phone call and would be right in. I'm betting she's half way home by now. We've been set up, Gibbs."

Jethro gave her one of his patented half smiles and patted the seat of the bar stool next to him.

Just then his phone beeped at him and he saw it was Ducky calling. He showed the ID to Kate as he answered.

"Hey, Duck you on your way?" He actually winked at Kate as he spoke to Ducky.

"No, Jethro I'm sorry but mother isn't feeling well and I need to stay home. I hope I didn't inconvenience you."

"No problem. I hope she gets to feeling better. See you Monday."

Gibbs turned to Kate with a smirk on his face.

"I guess you better sit down and order a drink. We might as well enjoy ourselves."

"You don't have to stay Gibbs. I can call a cab." _What the hell did I just say? _

"Hey, we can't let all their planning go to waste can we? I would like to buy you a drink, Kate. Maybe even dinner if you haven't eaten. Come on, join me."

"Well. . .you're right, we can't let this master plan fail can we? I'd be happy to join you."

Kate ordered a beer and the evening took off from there. After his second bourbon Jethro ordered them burgers and fries which he promised Kate were the best in town. She had to agree; they were old fashioned from a real grill and the buns were toasted just right. The fries were nice and crispy, just the way she liked them. Kate found Gibbs very easy to talk to and he was delighted to listen to her talk. They shared stories about incidents on her job or cases he'd worked that were more stupid than serious and Gibbs found himself laughing more than he had in a long time. Since he would be driving later he switched to coffee after they ate and Kate had her second beer.

Conversation was easy between them and so were the times when neither spoke. Jethro particularly, appreciated a woman who didn't feel the need to fill every moment with chatter. Kate seemed content to let him be quiet and because of that he felt comfortable enough to talk to her. He found himself answering in full sentences instead of just a word or two. He told her about Mike Franks and some of the stuff he used to make Gibbs do when he was a probie.

"I can't imagine you as a probie," Kate said.

When she smiled at him something clicked inside and he wanted to make her smile again.

"We all have to start somewhere. I didn't start out as the team leader that's for sure. Hell, Mike still calls me probie even after all these years."

"I knew you were in charge the first time I saw you on Air Force One."

"Really? You didn't believe I was Ducky's assistant?"

There was laughter in his voice and Kate laughed along with him.

"Oh my gosh no. My first clue was when he tried to toss you his coat and you just let it fall to the floor. Definitely not the actions of an assistant."

"I don't remember that. You're very observant."

"Not much good as a Secret Service agent if you're not observant."

"Very true. Thanks for not shooting me by the way."

"You're very welcome." Kate had her hand on his arm and her touch caused a bit of a short circuit in Jethro's system. He liked it. A lot.

"I bet Mike's very proud of you now. He must have been a good teacher."

"Yes, he was a good teacher. I learned a lot from him; both what to do and what not to do."

While they sat at the bar, eating, drinking and talking there were some light touches between them and whenever Jethro touched her hand or arm Kate felt a tingling along her spine. Jethro felt the same tingling when Kate put her hand on his thigh or shoulder. Kate was a toucher; she liked contact with the person she was with and to her surprise so did Jethro.

After Jethro's second cup of coffee and Kate's beer were both finished, he swiveled his seat around so they were face to face, their knees touching. He found himself very reluctant to let the evening end. Taking her hand he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles and studied her. _She's really very pretty. I wonder if she'd like to do this again._

"What are you going to tell Abby about tonight?"

Kate thought a minute and then got a very sneaky look on her face. She put her free hand on his hand that was holding hers, sandwiching his big hand between her much smaller, softer hands.

"I think I'll tell her the truth, sort of. I'm going to tell her I met a very nice man and had a very enjoyable evening. But, I think I'll say his name was Mark. How does that sound?"

Jethro laughed and his eyes lit up. Kate knew she was a goner when she looked into those beautiful blue eyes that seemed to see right into her soul.

"Cruel. And perfect and just what she deserves. I think I'll just tell Ducky I went home after he called. If I tell him the truth; that I spent the evening with a very attractive and interesting lady I'm afraid he and Abby would put our stories together and find us out."

"I think we should make them suffer just a little while. And thank you for the compliment."

"I think I should give Ducky a very expensive bottle of Scotch as a thank you. After we make them suffer."

Neither of them spoke for a long few moments. They just held hands and looked at each other. Finally Kate couldn't stand it and she broke the silence.

"I've had a really good time tonight, Gibbs."

"Me too. Could you do me a favor?"

"Of course."

"Call me Jethro."

"Sure. I'm sorry I'm just used to thinking of you as Gibbs."

"That's okay. Until tonight I thought of you as Agent Todd. Now, can I give you a ride home?"

"That would be nice, thank you."

The ride to Kate's townhouse was quiet but not uncomfortably so. Both Jethro and Kate were thinking about the fact that they had had a good time and they were both wondering why they didn't do it sooner. When they arrived at their destination, Jethro walked Kate to the door. She wanted to invite him in but she wasn't getting that vibe from him. He thought he'd like to be asked in but he didn't think that was going to happen.

"I had a really nice time Jethro. In fact this was the nicest set-up date I've had since junior high."

"Thanks, I think. I had a good time. Can I call you sometime and maybe we can do it again?"

"Yes, I'd like that. In fact, if you don't call I might just have to call you."

"That's okay by me. Night, Kate."

"Goodnight Jethro. Thanks for the ride."

Jethro walked back to the car and waited until Kate was safely inside before he got in and drove off. He had really enjoyed the last few hours but he didn't think it was necessarily going anywhere. He admitted to himself that he liked Kate and would enjoy seeing her again but he wasn't looking to get involved with a woman and certainly not a woman so much younger than himself. But, it had been a nice evening and he wouldn't give Ducky too much grief over the set up.

Abby lasted until Sunday morning before she couldn't stand it any longer and called Kate. It was obvious she had set Kate up and Abby was beginning to wonder if Kate was really angry with her. She had thought she would call; even if just to give her a hard time.

Kate looked at the caller ID on her phone and smiled. This was going to be fun.

"Hello, Abby."

"Hey Kate. About last night. . ."

"Yeah, what happened to you? Is everything alright? I was going to call you but I got so caught up I didn't."

"I'm fine. I was calling to apologize for leaving you. Wait, what do you mean 'caught up'?"

"Well, I saw Gibbs there so I figured you'd set us up. But anyway, I met a really nice guy and had a fun night so it's all good."

"Wait, you met a really nice guy? Did you talk to Gibbs?"

"Sure, we figured when Ducky didn't show up you two had planned it. He finished his drink and left. I had a beer and met a guy, Mark, and we hit it off. He's in the Coast Guard. Anyway, it all worked out."

"You mean Gibbs went off and left you at a bar? By yourself. I can't believe he did that."

"Geez Abby I can take care of myself. It's not like we were in some sleazy dump after all. He was polite; asked if I needed a ride but I'd seen Mark there by himself and was interested so I said no, I was going to stay a while. He took off. Like I said, I had a great time. I'm sorry your plan didn't work out the way you wanted it to. You know, Gibbs isn't really into me. If he was he would have done something about it a long time ago."

"Kate, I can't believe that. I thought he was interested or I would never have set you two up. I guess I'm happy for you about this Mark guy but I still think you and Gibbs would be good together."

"Maybe not. Anyway, let's get together in a week or two for lunch. I'm out of town most of this next week but I'll call you when I get back."

"Okay. Be safe, Kate."

Kate felt just a little bad about tricking Abby but then she consoled herself with the knowledge that her friend had left her at a bar with no real idea of what was going to happen. Kate was still not sure exactly what had happened except that she had a very nice time talking and laughing with Jethro. She was a little surprised at how easy he was to talk with because their initial encounters on Air Force One had not gone all that well. But, they were on a case after all and Gibbs had saved the day in the end. She had thought at the time that he was much more complex a man than he let on and after spending a few hours with him she was convinced that estimation was correct.

Whether or not he was going to call her for a real date remained to be seen. If he didn't call, Kate was going to give him one more chance by calling him and inviting him to lunch. If, after that he didn't get a clue and ask her out, she was going to let it go and move on. Who knows, she thought, maybe there really is a 'Mark' out there for her.

Gibbs didn't hear from Ducky over the weekend. He spent most of Saturday doing yard work and most of a rainy Sunday working on his boat in the basement. He thought a lot about Kate and tried to decide if he wanted to ask her out or not. He liked her, she was easy to be with and certainly attractive even if she wasn't a redhead. Might be time to take a break from redheads anyway he told himself. The problem was he always came back to two things; their age difference and his track record. Those were two formidable issues he just couldn't ignore or get around.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 4

The work week started before dawn on Monday for Gibbs and his team. A dead Sailor found floating in the Potomac was not exactly how they would have chosen to start the week. When a second body was found floating in the Tidal Basin the day went from bad to a lot worse. The team spent all morning at the crime scenes and all afternoon tracking down background information on their victims. By seven o'clock when Gibbs finally sent them home they were all exhausted.

Tuesday and Wednesday weren't much better than Monday but at least no more dead guys showed up. What little evidence they had wasn't leading them anywhere and Gibbs was getting frustrated with the slow progress they were all making. Being busy kept his mind off Kate and also meant he hadn't had time to talk to Ducky or Abby about anything but the case. They finally got a break on Thursday afternoon so at least they had an idea of who they were looking for.

Gibbs did not want to work on the weekend so they pushed ahead late into the night on Thursday and finally found their suspects Friday morning. By noon they had arrested two of the victim's shipmates and after some quality time with Gibbs in the interrogation room the younger of the two caved in and gave up their story. The four had been in on a smuggling ring together and when things got too complicated they all turned on each other. Tony and McGee took the two off to lockup and Gibbs finally had time to visit Ducky.

"Well, Jethro, it took all week but you finally got the killers I understand. Good work my friend."

"Took longer than it should have but yeah, we finally got 'em."

"Jethro, about last Friday. . ."

"Don't worry about it Duck. How's your mother?"

"She's fine. You do know of course what happened."

"Yeah, I know but I think Kate told Abby some story about meeting a nice guy there so don't blow it for her."

"Well, what really happened?"

"Kate and I had a couple of drinks, some burgers and just talked for a while. We had a nice time and I took her home."

"And?"

"Nothing. That's it."

"Are you going to see her again?"

"I don't know. Maybe. You do realize I'm probably old enough to be her father right?"

"I don't think that matters in this day and time, Jethro."

"Matters to me. Seems unlikely she'd be interested anyway."

"Abigail disagrees. She's pretty sure Kate is indeed interested otherwise we would not have perpetrated such an elaborate ruse."

"Well, do me a favor and don't do it again. Night Duck."

"Goodnight, Jethro."

Gibbs intended to get out of the building before Abby cornered him but he wasn't quite fast enough. She caught up to him in the parking lot.

"Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, I wanted to talk to you all week. I know you know Ducky and I set you and Kate up last Friday and I hope you're not mad. I know you don't really want anyone to know your personal business but I just really thought you and Kate deserved another chance to get to know one another. You're not mad are you?" 

"No Abs I'm not mad. It was nice to see Kate but I don't think you should expect anything to come of your matchmaking."

"You like her don't you, Gibbs?"

"Abs." There was a warning tone in his voice with which Abby was very familiar.

"Okay, I'll leave it alone. Have a good weekend."

"You too, Abs."

Jethro was glad to have the week behind him and to have talked to both Abby and Ducky and gotten that whole Kate situation handled with them. All the way home he had a nagging thought; why did the two people who knew him best both think he and Kate should get together? Were they right? Was he missing something that those two were seeing? He reminded himself he had had a good time last Friday and Kate did seem like she had too. He had told her they could do it again so what was wrong with calling her for lunch?

By the time he got home Jethro had talked himself into and out of calling Kate at least six times. When he walked in the house he pulled out his phone and before he could change his mind he called her. He didn't give any thought to the fact that it was Friday night and she might be out with someone else. When the voice mail came on he hung up without leaving a message.

Jethro grabbed a beer and headed upstairs to change clothes. Sitting on his bed he thought about why he was so reluctant to see Kate. Dating wasn't really a problem for Jethro. He didn't do much of it but when he wanted to go out with a woman he never had any trouble getting a date. There were two or three women he could always call on; friends he'd made and kept over the years whom he enjoyed and who seemed to enjoy his company as well. None of those ladies were interested in a long term relationship and that fit perfectly with what Jethro wanted as well. He enjoyed female company on occasion but did not want to do the work required to maintain a serious relationship with a woman.

In Jethro's estimation, Kate did not seem to be the kind of woman who would want just a once-in-a-while sort of thing with him. She was young enough to still be looking forward to marriage and children; something Jethro was definitely not looking for. On the other hand she was in a career that didn't exactly lend itself to a normal home life so maybe once in a while would work for her. But, would it work for Jethro? Something about Kate seemed to get under his skin and he wasn't sure he would want to let go if he ever really got hold of her. Jethro didn't like sharing so he knew if he was seeing Kate on any sort of regular basis he would not easily accept her seeing other men too. _Why am I worrying about that? I haven't even asked her on a date yet. _

No, he told himself, he didn't need to get involved with Kate or anyone else at this point in his life. He was content with his life and didn't need the stress a relationship would undoubtedly cause. Sometimes he thought about how nice it would be to come home to someone who was glad to see him. Or what it would be like to have someone to do simple things with such as going for a walk on a nice evening, but then he would talk himself out of it and go on and pretty soon another year had passed and he was still alone. Jethro was used to being alone and figured it was really too late to change that now. He accepted his lot in life and for the most part was happy being alone. But, every now and then he wondered. And every now and then he missed what a woman brought to the equation; the softness and grace and gentleness that was missing in his life. He missed having someone to take care of and having someone around who wanted to take care of him even if he didn't want to let her.

Jethro shook himself and banished all those thoughts from his mind. He vowed to stop thinking about Kate and concentrate on his boat and his job and just keep putting one foot in front of another. Pulling on some comfortable jeans and a tee shirt he headed to the basement to work on his boat.

While Jethro was convincing himself he was fine with his life the way it was, Kate was letting a steaming shower wash away the fatigue of a very long week. She was extremely glad this was her last week on protection detail. Next week she was taking a week off and then she started a new job in the investigation division. That meant more regular hours and much less travel. Kate had long ago tired of being gone from her own bed for days and weeks at a time and was looking forward to a more routine lifestyle. While she was not necessarily ready to "settle down" with a marriage and kids, she was certainly ready to spend time at home and maybe with a special someone.

Thinking about a "special someone" brought Jethro to her mind. She had been out of town most of the week so had not given much thought to him or another date. She did want to see him again and she wondered if he would call. She wasn't opposed to calling him if he didn't take the initiative. Kate stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a big, fluffy towel. Once she was finished in the bathroom, she put on some old sweats and a tee shirt and headed for the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of wine and searched the cabinets for something to eat. Nothing really sounded good so she settled for some cheese and crackers. Wine and snacks in hand she went to the living room and settled on the couch to find something on television.

Kate checked her phone as she surfed the channels and saw she had a missed call. There was no message and Kate didn't recognize the number so she started to ignore it as was her habit. She put the phone down and concentrated on the television for a few minutes but her curiosity got the best of her and she reached for the phone. Pulling up the missed call she hit 'call' and waited.

Across town Jethro was on his second Mason jar of bourbon and had worked up a good sweat sanding on his boat. His phone beeping at him was the last thing he needed. They weren't on call but that never stopped dispatch from calling him. Without looking at the ID he snatched up the offending creature and flipped it open.

"Yeah Gibbs."

"Jethro?"

Definitely not dispatch he thought.

"Kate?"

"Yes, hello. I had a missed call."

"That was me. Hi."

"Hi yourself. How are you?"

"Okay. How was your week?"

"Long and tedious and I'm very glad it's over. I'm off next week and start a new job the week after. Did you have a case?"

Jethro put down the sanding block and leaned back against the workbench. He closed his eyes and pictured Kate in his mind.

"Yeah, double homicide. Took all week to get it closed. What do you mean a new job?"

"I'm leaving the protection division and going to the investigative division. Not as much travel and more regular hours. More time at home."

"Sounds good. If I'd known you wanted to investigate things I would have offered you a job at NCIS."

"Who knows, if I decide to leave the Secret Service I'll let you know."

"You better." 

"So, you called earlier?"

"Yes, would you like to go out sometime?"

"Yes, I would. What do you have in mind?"

"How about dinner, tomorrow night?" 

"That would work. I'd like that."

"Great. I'll pick you up at seven."

"Sounds good. I'll see you then."

"Night Kate."

Kate remembered from working with him that Jethro always ended his phone calls rather abruptly so she wasn't surprised or offended to hear the phone click off before she could respond. She sipped her wine and thought about going out on a real date with Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. She wondered how the date would be different since it was their own idea instead of a set-up by their "friends".

Jethro poured himself another drink and contemplated a real date with Caitlyn Todd. He wondered what he was really doing; was he taking her out because he wanted to or because a couple of people he trusted thought he should? He told himself over and over again that night he wasn't going to get "involved" with Kate. He was going to take her to dinner, maybe take a walk with her and then kiss her goodnight and come home. Maybe in a few weeks he'd see if she wanted to do it again. That was all, no great romance just a few dates to get her out of his system and then she'd figure out he wasn't right for her and they'd go their merry ways. No harm, no foul. Just a few dates he told himself. Four at the most.

What about sex? The little voice in the back of his head kept pushing that question the rest of the night. Maybe, was the only answer he could come up with. If she wanted to, if it felt right, but maybe not. That tended to complicate things and lord knows, Jethro didn't like complicated. Just keep things simple and honest and all would be fine. Jethro would have been willing to bet his partially finished boat that by the time they'd had four dates Kate would be ready to move on.


	5. Chapter 5

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 5

After that first date, if Kate had been a woman who kept a diary she could have filled many pages with her thoughts and feelings about having dinner with Jethro. She could have written that he arrived early and looked very handsome in black slacks and a soft gray pullover sweater. He even brought her flowers; red carnations in a slender glass vase. He smelled good and his manners were impeccable. He opened the door and held her chair and waited while she ordered for herself. He listened to her as if she was the only person in the room and when he spoke to her he looked right at her. He made her laugh and he laughed with her. And when she looked in his eyes she was lost.

From the moment she met him, Kate had been intrigued with Jethro. She studied him on their case all those months ago and came away impressed with his professional skill and his dedication and courage in the face of very real personal danger. After spending an evening alone with him she was even more impressed and intrigued. There was an air of mystery about Jethro, something about him made her feel oddly protective of him even though she couldn't imagine why he would need protection from anything.

They ate at a small Italian place in Old Towne and later walked around watching the people and window shopping until almost ten o'clock. When he reached for her hand as they crossed a street she linked her fingers with his and held on. He didn't seem to mind and so they continued hand-in-hand the rest of the walk. Kate found herself talking deep breaths to try and control her racing heart. She was sure Jethro could feel her pulse racing but he acted like everything was perfectly normal. She wanted contact with so much more than his hand and that level of desire both surprised and frightened her. Kate had no intention of getting serious about Jethro. She wanted to spend some time with him, go on a few dates and then she imagined he would tire of her and move on. She knew he had been married and divorced three times and that was enough to dissuade her from getting serious.

The problem was she enjoyed being with him more than she had enjoyed a man in a very long time; maybe ever. He was certainly not like the other men she dated over the last couple of years. Of course they were all much younger than Jethro and still very busy trying to impress the women they dated. When they learned what Kate did for a living they were either intimidated or much too interested in the idea of dating a Secret Service agent. Jethro of course was not overly impressed with her job and certainly not intimidated by the fact that she carried a gun and knew how to protect herself. In his seeming disinterest in impressing her he was making a very positive impression indeed. To Kate it felt like they had been dating for months. They were comfortable with silence and it seemed enough for both of them just to enjoy the evening, the people around them and the fun atmosphere Old Towne provided. As far as Kate was concerned the date could have gone on for hours longer.

The only negative part of what Kate would have written in her diary would have been the going home part. When Jethro walked her to her door he told her he had had a really good time and hoped she had too. Of course she said she had enjoyed the evening very much. The kiss good night was somewhere past platonic but not nearly close enough to sensual to satisfy her craving for him. She thanked him for a very nice evening and he kissed her softly once more before turning to go to his car. He waited until she was inside before he left. Kate was disappointed but really, she knew it was too early to expect much more. After all, she reminded herself, she wasn't going to get serious about Jethro anyway. But that kiss. . . Well it had been awfully nice and she would have liked to have had several more.

Jethro not being the introspective sort did not spend a lot of time thinking about the date. He had enjoyed himself and he liked being with Kate but he didn't have any big ideas about this being the beginning of a grand romance. He thought on the way home that he would likely ask her out again and if pressed he would admit he was physically attracted to her so given enough time they could end up in bed together.

The rest of the weekend neither Jethro nor Kate spent a lot of time thinking about the other. They were both used to living alone and spending a lot of their time in singular pursuits. Jethro of course had his boat and a house and yard to maintain. Kate had a new job to prepare for, all the usual chores and a fairly strict training regime she tired to stick to no matter what. Kate thought about the date while she was running on Sunday morning but she certainly wasn't pining away waiting for the phone to ring.

Jethro and Kate were definitely not two people most would put together as a couple. There was a significant-to some-age difference, Jethro was thrice married and divorced and Kate was a single, Catholic woman who tried to be faithful to her upbringing. Though certainly not a prude, she did not fall into bed with every man she went out with either. Her standards were pretty high and on several counts, if she was brutally honest, Jethro Gibbs would fall short. On the other hand she found him incredibly handsome and sexy. He was intelligent, courageous and dedicated to his work. He might not want people to know it but he had a wonderful sense of humor and was very loyal to his friends. He was well read and could carry on a conversation on any number of topics. Maybe he scored higher than she originally gave him credit for. Anyway by the time Monday rolled around Jethro was concentrating on work and Kate was enjoying some time off to prepare for her new job.

By Wednesday afternoon Kate was bored with being at home and a strange uneasiness had settled in her mind. She felt unsettled for some reason she couldn't really put her finger on. She was confident about her job change so that wasn't what was bothering her. She wasn't sick and she certainly wasn't stressed; she'd been home for three days with nothing much to do. She decided to go to the gym and work on her boxing and do some light lifting. While she was doing her weight work she saw a news bulletin about a shooting involving NCIS agents and her heart stopped for brief second.

Kate moved nearer the television and concentrated on what the reporter was saying. Of course they didn't name the agents involved and Kate wasn't sure exactly where this had taken place. She knew she had to call Jethro and make sure he was alright so she hurried to the locker room and got her phone. She found a quiet corner and punched in his number. In just a few moments she heard the familiar voice on the other end.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Oh thank god you're alright." Kate felt like she could finally breath again. She was so relieved she sank down on a nearby bench, no longer able to stand up.

"Kate? What's wrong?"

"I saw a news report about some NCIS guys in a shoot out and I was afraid it might be you or some of your team."

Jethro was surprised to hear the genuine concern in her voice. Something clicked for him and though he didn't know it at the time that was the moment he was hooked.

"No, no that was a team in Norfolk. They're okay too. Thanks for worrying about me though."

"Of course. I'm just glad you're okay. I'll let you get back to work."

Jethro looked around the squad room to make sure he was still alone.

"Hey, would you like to meet me for a drink later?"

He wasn't sure where that came from but she sounded so worried and he realized he liked having her call in the middle of the day.

"Sure, that'd be great. How about the Tavern again?"

"Yes, good. Six o'clock?"

"Okay, I'll see you then. Bye, Jethro."

"Bye."

Kate spent what she thought was way too much time that afternoon deciding what to wear to meet Jethro. She finally scolded herself into remembering it was just a drink and she was not going to get that involved with him anyway. She was just meeting him because of what happened today. After all he hadn't called her for a second date. This was just one of those things that happen sometimes and but it doesn't necessarily mean anything. Kate stood looking at herself in the mirror and thought, _Who are you trying to kid? You really like this man and you've called a cab just so he'll feel obligated to bring you home. _

Kate arrived at the Tavern ahead of Jethro and was seated at the bar when he walked in. Much as she had done on Friday night, he stood and watched her for a few moments. He thought to himself that she looked very young. She should be waiting for some handsome young man; not a middle aged, world-weary old Marine like himself. He almost turned around and left but then he remembered how she'd sounded on the phone earlier today and he walked over to greet her.

"Hi, sorry I'm late. I hope you haven't been waiting long."

"No, I just got her myself. Haven't even had time to order yet."

"Good. How about we get a booth tonight?"

"Okay. I'm really glad you're okay, Jethro."

Jethro took her hand as she slid off the barstool and let her precede him to a booth across the room.

"Thanks. Me too. Our guys in Norfolk are good too. How come you were watching tv in the middle of the day?"

It was quieter in the booth and a lot more private which suited them both. Kate was a little bit nervous for some reason she couldn't quite put her finger on. Jethro kept thinking what he'd thought of when he walked in.

"What were you thinking about standing in the doorway earlier?"

Jethro was surprised to say the least. He had no idea Kate had known he was there. He'd have to remember she was trained to be constantly observant.

"Don't forget Jethro, I'm Secret Service, we can't let people just walk in a room and not see them."

They both laughed and tension was gone.

"Yeah, I'll remember that. I was thinking you are beautiful and should be waiting for some nice young man, not an old, weary bastard like me."

Kate laughed and put her hand on his. She looked him in the eye and said, "You forget, I've seen your bastard side already. I don't care much about that. And for the record, I've met enough "nice young men" in bars to last me a lifetime. I much prefer present company."

Jethro almost blushed. He gave her a small smile and was glad the waitress had arrived to take their order. They each ordered a beer and asked for the menu.

"Now, back to my earlier question; what were you doing watching tv in the middle of the day?"

"Oh. I was at the gym and saw the news bulletin while I was lifting. I have been home all week with not much to do so I decided to go work out for while."

"Tell me about your new job. I thought you liked protection detail."

"I did for the first few years. Then it gets to be a grind. You're never home for long and frankly", Kate leaned across the table and finished in a whisper, "I'm not a fan of the present administration."

"Ah, well that can make it even less fun. So, investigations, huh. What made you decide to make that change?

"I have to give you some of the credit. Working with you and the others on the Air Force One case got me to thinking about it. When the vacancy came up I applied and was given the opportunity."

"I think you'll do very well there. I have to say I'm glad you're not a human shield anymore."

"Thanks. My family is also very happy I've made the change so I guess it's unanimous."

They ordered their dinner and finished their beers and ordered another. The conversation was easy between them and gradually they both relaxed. Kate leaned into the table as she talked and Jethro sat back enjoying watching her and listening to whatever she said. He didn't much care what they talked about; he just liked watching her. She asked him some questions about his time in the Marines and how he came to be with NCIS. He gave her facts but didn't embellish much, as was his way. She seemed to accept his mostly short answers and didn't push for details. He liked that about her.

When they had finished eating and switched to drinking coffee, Jethro realized he didn't want the evening to end. He was feeling very relaxed and at ease with Kate and he sensed she felt the same way. Just as he was about to ask if she wanted to play a game of pool his phone beeped at him. Grimacing he pulled it off his belt and answered.

"Yeah, it's Gibbs."

He listened for a few minutes then spoke to the poor, unlucky fellow from dispatch, "Call DiNozzo and tell him I'll meet them there. Call Ducky too."

Kate smiled at him, "I guess that means our evening is over."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I gotta go to work. You be alright getting home?"

"Yes, I'll have the bartender call me a cab."

"You didn't drive?"

Now she was almost embarrassed.

"No, I was figuring on coaxing a ride from you. I didn't think about you being on call. Don't worry. I'll be fine."

"Nonsense. Come on, I'll take you home."

"Isn't it out of your way?"

Of course she had no idea where he was headed but she didn't want to hold him up. She had a good memory of how he was on a case and she didn't want to get in his way.

"What's the point of being in charge if I can't be late once in a while?"

"Good point."

Jethro signaled their waitress and handed her some cash as they got ready to leave.

"You get called out after hours quite a bit?"

"Couple of times a month at least. In theory we rotate being on call but we are the major case team so we get most of the big stuff now matter when it happens. I guess I'm used to it; I sort of feel strange if we don't get called out for a while."

"Well, I hope this case goes quickly for you. And, no one shoots at you."

"Me too."

They were quiet the rest of the way to Kate's house. Jethro was unknowingly getting his head into the case even before he'd been to the scene. Kate was thinking about how comfortable she felt with Jethro; how easy he was to talk to and be with. When they arrived at her townhouse she thanked Jethro for the ride and started to open her door. Jethro reached over and put his hand on her arm.

"Look Kate, I'm not good at the whole dating thing but.. ."

"Who told you that?"

"No one. I just know. I mean I get caught up in a case and everything else is forgotten. I don't remember to call, I don't do the little things that people are supposed to do when they're seeing another person."

"For the record, you seem fine at dating to me. Are you trying to say you don't want to see me again?"

"No, not at all. In fact I'd love to see you again but I just want you to know you may have to do more than usual in terms of organizing and remembering, that's all."

Kate looked at him and smiled that high wattage smile he was beginning to really like. She leaned in and kissed him softly on the mouth. Before he could react and kiss her back properly she pulled away.

"I had a very nice time Jethro and I'd love to see you again. If that means I have to call you then I'm okay with that if you are. I'm quite capable of organizing and remembering. So, when your case is over call me. If I get the urge to see you before you call, I'll call you. That work?"

"Yeah, works for me. Night Kate."

Kate leaned over and kissed him again. This time he was quicker and kissed her back. Knowing he had to get to work he stopped long before he wanted to.

"Good night Jethro. Please be careful out there."

Then she was gone. Jethro watched her go in the house and waited until she had some lights on before he left. Duty called and as always, he answered.


	6. Chapter 6

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 6

Unfortunately when duty called this time she wasn't hanging up any time soon. The case Jethro was called out on involved two dead Sailors, a lot of missing money and weapons and very few clues. They worked the case most of the night Wednesday and all day Thursday with little to show for it. By Friday afternoon the Director was breathing down Gibbs' neck for some results but unfortunately there were none to share with him.

"If I had something to tell you Director I would but we are hitting nothing but brick walls. I think we need to go to the ship and see if there is anything we can figure out there.?

"Is the Kitty Hawk still in Norfolk?"

"No they left yesterday morning. We'll need to arrange some transport. I'll take DiNozzo with me and leave McGee here to work with Abby. I don't see any other way to attack this, Sir."

"I agree. Let me know when you plan to leave. And Jethro, be careful. I don't like how this thing is feeling."

"Me either."

Jethro made the travel arrangements and told DiNozzo to meet him at Andrews in ninety minutes. They would have to really hustle to make the next flight to Norfolk but he figured they could do it. He explained what he needed McGee to do and lastly called Ducky from the car on the way home.

"Duck, I'm taking DiNozzo with me to the Kitty Hawk. Give whatever you can find to McGee or Abby and then you three let me know what's new. We should be on the ship late tonight."

"Alright, Jethro. This case has a strange vibe to it; be careful."

"Will do."

Jethro had not thought much about Kate the last few days but now that he was about to leave for who knew how long, he wished he could talk to her. There was something between them that he couldn't quite name. She interested him and when he was absolutely honest with himself he had to admit he wanted to see her again. Often. As he was driving to the Air Force Base he took a chance and called her.

Kate was on her way out the door to meet some friends for an early dinner. She was starting her new job on Monday so they were marking the end of her week of vacation. She was ready to get back to work even though she had enjoyed her time off. The mid-week date with Jethro was definitely the highlight of her time off. She had thought about calling him earlier in the day but then she got busy and put it off. Besides, she sort of wanted him to call her; for it to be his idea. Her phone rang as she was getting in her car.

"Kate Todd."

"Hey, Kate, it's Jethro."

"Well hello. I was just thinking about you earlier today. How's the case coming along?"

"Not very well. Terrible in fact. I've been meaning to call but we've been covered up."

"I understand. Are you working this weekend?" _What happened to letting him do the asking?_

"'Fraid so. In fact I'm heading out to the Kitty Hawk tonight. Don't know when we'll be back but I'll call you. I had a really good time the other night, Katie."

"Me too. Be safe, Jethro and I'll talk to you when you get home."

"Bye."

It was a long evening and night before Jethro and Tony finally arrived on board the USS Kitty Hawk underway in the Atlantic. When they had briefed the ship's Captain and settled in their assigned berths, Jethro let his mind wander for a few minutes to Kate. He knew he liked her and he was getting a good vibe from her which made him feel good. He also knew he wanted to keep seeing her and he hoped she would do that without getting serious. Serious was the last thing Jethro wanted. He hoped that with her career and their age difference she wouldn't be thinking about a long term thing with him. All he wanted was someone to go out with sometimes and hopefully someone who would eventually want to have an intimate relationship without taking it to the extreme of a commitment. Actually, commitment was the very last thing he wanted; serious was right there with it though.

Being in extremely close quarters with his senior agent was almost as frustrating for Gibbs as the case itself. After four very long days and nights they finally had their killer in the brig and would be taking him back to Norfolk with them on the next morning's transport. Gibbs was also taking back a very impressive black eye, two severely bruised ribs and a dislocated left shoulder. Tony had a very sore jaw and sprained knee. The Petty Officer in the brig had a broken wrist and a minor concussion. Needless to say the arrest had not gone quite as Gibbs would have liked. Injuries aside, Gibbs was happy with the outcome and even happier to be going home.

Kate's first week at her new job was going very well. She knew most of the agents on the team so she was sure the transition would be smooth. She spent the first couple of days getting up to speed on what her team was working on and by Wednesday she felt like she could not only ask an intelligent question but also have something relevant to add to the discussion. She was excited about the job and hadn't had much time to think about Jethro. She was surprised he was still gone; at least she assumed he was still gone since she hadn't heard from him. She was making herself wait for him to call.

When Gibbs and DiNozzo got home it was late Thursday night. Gibbs had called the Director when they landed in Norfolk and the Director congratulated them on a job well done. More importantly he gave them orders to take Friday off and enjoy their weekend. Both Gibbs and Tony slept all the way to Andrews AFB where they picked up their cars and headed for home.

"Good work this week DiNozzo. See you Monday."

"Thanks Boss. You sure you're okay to drive with that shoulder?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay, see ya Monday."

Gibbs had a fleeting thought of Kate on his way home but he was too tired to think about much of anything except getting home to a cold beer and hot shower followed by about ten hours of sleep. His shoulder was beginning to ache as were his ribs and his eye. He had some painkillers the corpsman had given him on the ship and he fully intended to take them once he was ready for bed. When he finally pulled into his driveway Gibbs was exhausted. He managed to get himself in the house and as planned headed straight for the fridge to get a beer and then straight upstairs to the shower. He dumped his bag on the floor and stripped, leaving his clothes in a pile on the bathroom floor. Time to pick those up tomorrow.

The hot shower felt so good on his aching body that he just stood there for a long time enjoying the spray and the steam. Washing with just one usable arm was a challenge but he'd done it before so he managed. Again, a thought of Kate filtered through his foggy brain and he smiled at the idea that she could certainly be helpful in the shower right about now. No, he told himself, he didn't even have the energy left to enjoy that particular kind of help. When the hot water was almost gone Jethro stepped out and dried off; again one-handed this was a challenge. He had long since finished off the Corona so he swallowed two pain pills with a glass of water and fell into bed. He put the sling back on because it took the pressure off his shoulder and even though it was hard to sleep with it on it really helped with the pain. He was asleep in about a minute anyway.

Jethro slept soundly for seven hours. When he woke up he was hungry so he went downstairs to see if there was anything to eat. He remembered he was supposed to eat before taking the pain pills and he hadn't done so last night. Maybe that was why he didn't feel all that good. He got a bottle of water, three eggs and some cheese out and fixed himself some scrambled eggs. When he looked at the clock he saw it was it was almost seven in the morning. No wonder he was hungry. After devouring his eggs and some toast, Jethro went through his mail which his neighbor always put on the table when he was away for more than a day. Nothing but bills and junk mail.

Knowing his father would be up and having coffee already, Jethro went to the couch and called Jackson.

"Hello."

"Hey dad. How you doing"?

"Well, good morning son. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, been out of town for a few days so I wanted to say hi and catch up."

"Not much to tell from this end. Having a beautiful spring, you should come up."

"I'd like to. Maybe in a couple of weeks. Been fishing?

"No, not lately. Let's plan to do that when you visit. Where were you while you were out of town or is that classified?"

"No, not classified. I was on the Kitty Hawk. Got back late last night so I'm off today. I'll try and get up there soon, dad. I'll let you get to work. Love you."

"Love you too, son. Come see me."

Jethro hung up the phone and stretched out on the couch. He was asleep in about thirty seconds and didn't wake up until almost eleven thirty. Pulling himself to a sitting position Jethro scrubbed a hand over his face and tried to shake the cobwebs out of his head. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept so long and it felt strange to be sleeping in the middle of the day on a Friday. When he was fully awake, Jethro went upstairs and got dressed for the day. He couldn't really work on the boat one-handed so he decided to go outside and enjoy the day.

While Jethro was puttering around in his backyard, looking at flower beds and picking up small tree limbs, Kate was having lunch with Abby. Not knowing for sure if Gibbs and Kate were seeing each other, Abby had called Kate to meet for lunch so she could try and find out what was going on. Being a romantic at heart, Abby desperately wanted her two friends to get together. She was convinced Gibbs needed a woman in his life and she was equally sure that Kate was the one he needed.

"So, tell me how your first week has been. Are you liking the job?"

"Yes, I really like it. I already knew most of the people I'm working with so that helps. It's a lot different than protection detail but I think I'll really enjoy it. Plus, most of the time I won't have to worry about getting shot at!"

"Yeah, that is a plus for sure. You don't think you'll miss the traveling?"

"Gosh no. I was so ready to give that up. I'll still do some traveling but I won't be on protection detail so the traveling will be much less stressful."

The waiter came with their lunches so there was a lull in the conversation. Kate knew what Abby really wanted to ask but she was having fun watching her struggle with how to bring Gibbs into the conversation. She finally took pity on her friend and let her ask the million dollar question.

"Go ahead and ask Abby before your head explodes."

Abby laughed and put down her fork. She knew Kate could read her like a book so she wasn't surprised she had figured out what Abby wanted to know.

"Okay, I guess I'm pretty obvious. Are you and Gibbs seeing each other?"

"Well, we were just finishing a very enjoyable dinner last week when he got called in to work. Then he called me to say he was going out to the Kitty Hawk. He said he call when he got back but I haven't heard from him. Is he back?"

"Yes, he and Tony got back last night late. They're not working today. Which is kinda bad because I wanted to see Gibbs and see how bad he was hurt. But Ducky said he was okay so I guess I'll have to wait until Monday. Anyway, you should call him. He's not the best at remembering things like that. I mean he won't forget about you but he might not think to call like he said he would."

Kate was having a hard time keeping up with her because Abby was talking at her usual breakneck speed. And, because Kate was stuck back in the early part of the speech where Abby said Gibbs was hurt. That statement had caused a surprising jolt to Kate's system.

"Abby, stop. What do you mean he was hurt? You mean like shot or what?"

"No, no, not shot. He and Tony had to fight with the suspect and I guess Gibbs surprised the guy and the guy was really strong and Tony wasn't there at the beginning of the fight and. . . "

"Abby! What about Jethro?"

"Oh, sorry. He has a black eye and some bruised ribs and his left shoulder is dislocated."

"Oh my gosh. I guess he was taken care of on the ship at least."

"Yeah, Ducky said the corpsman fixed Gibbs up. He called Ducky because Tony told him Gibbs probably wouldn't do the follow-up on his shoulder like he's supposed to."

Kate didn't know what else to say. She was surprised by the strong reaction she was having to the news that Jethro was injured. She had to remind herself they were barely dating so she didn't really have cause to be all that concerned. But she was. And she realized she very much wanted to see Jethro and make sure for herself he was alright.

"I think you should call him, Kate. He'd be glad to hear from you. Or just go over to his house. I'm sure he's home and his door is always unlocked."

"I couldn't do that Abby. We're barely seeing each other."

"Sure you could. You're friends aren't you? I can see on your face that you're worried about him. I know Gibbs and I promise you, if you showed up at his house after work he'd be glad to see you."

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely. Gibbs likes you Kate. He's very careful about his private life but I know him and I can tell he likes you."

"I'll think about it. We better finish our lunch. I have to go back to work."

Kate did think about calling Jethro. All afternoon. When she left the office she turned down offers to join her group for a drink saying she needed to check on a sick friend. She sat in her car for ten minutes arguing with herself about whether or not to call Jethro. She knew what she wanted to do but she didn't want to overstep and scare him off. Kate understood she was probably more invested in this friendship or relationship or whatever it was than Jethro was at this point. She sensed he was interested in her but also being cautious. Knowing he'd been married three times already, Kate figured he was careful and probably not interested in getting serious with anyone. She was okay with that. At least that was what she was telling herself. She knew in her brain she shouldn't expect anything from Jethro but in her heart she was already hoping for something special.

Her heart finally won the argument about calling and Kate punched in Jethro's number.

Jethro was standing in the kitchen staring into the refrigerator. What he saw was not encouraging. The view of the freezer wasn't any better. He was reaching for the stack of takeout menu's in the drawer when his phone rang. He thought about ignoring it; he wasn't on call after all, but decided he'd at least see who it was. Maybe Ducky was calling to check up on him. When he saw it was Kate he hesitated for a moment. He did a quick back and forth in his head about whether or not he wanted her to see him in his present condition and decided he wanted to see her no matter what his condition. He'd worry about what that meant later.

"Hey, Kate hello."

"Hi, I hope it's okay that I called. I had lunch with Abby today and she said you were home."

"Of course it's okay. Got home late last night. How are you?"

"I'm fine but I hear you're a little beat up."

"Yeah, just a few new bumps and bruises."

"Anything I can do? Bring supper or something?"

"Well I was just about to decide on some takeout so I'm definitely up for supper."

"Great. What are you hungry for? I'll pick it up and come over if that works."

"Sure, that'd work. Why don't you surprise me."

"Okay. See you in about an hour."

"Okay. I'm glad you called, Kate."

"Me too. See ya soon."

Jethro closed his phone and headed upstairs to take a shower. He straightened up the house a little bit; didn't take much doing because he rarely left anything out of place for long. Just to have something to do while he waited, he started a pot of coffee and while it was making he thought about his reaction to Kate coming over. He hadn't planned to call her this weekend because he wanted to wait until he didn't look and feel like the loser in a tag team match. His shoulder and ribs still ached and his eye and cheekbone were now a kaleidoscope of color. He hadn't shaved in two days. Jethro was always reluctant to let anyone see him hurting or not at his best so his willingness to have Kate come over was kind of a surprise even to him.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and decided to stop second-guessing himself where Kate was concerned. He liked her, she apparently liked him and that was that. As long as it didn't get complicated Jethro was fine with spending time with Kate. He didn't really worry about it getting serious because he didn't do serious anymore. He'd been in love once and when Shannon was gone he knew he'd never find that kind of love again. He married three times but he knew he was never really in love with any of his ex-wives. He liked them; at least for a while, but he never truly loved them and that meant marrying them was a mistake. He eventually learned his lesson and ever since his divorce from Stephanie he'd never come close to any serious relationship that might lead to another mistake.

_Just enjoy Kate, take what comes, and then be ready when she moves on. _With that thought, Jethro finished his coffee and settled down to wait for Kate to arrive.

Almost exactly an hour after she'd called, Kate pulled into Jethro's driveway. He heard the car and opened the front door to see her getting two bags out of the passenger seat.

"Need help?"

"I got it."

Kate turned around and saw Jethro coming toward her.

"Hi. Wow that's quite a shiner you've got there."

"You should see the other guy."

Kate laughed and pushed the car door shut with her foot.

"I'm sure you gave as good as you got. How's the shoulder?"

"Better. What's in the bag?"

Jethro stepped aside and let Kate precede him into the house.

"Kitchen's straight back."

"I got lasagna from Luigi's. Hope you like it. And salad and cheesecake for dessert."

"I love Luigi's in fact. Good choice. Would you like some wine with it?"

"Sure."

Jethro set out some plates and silverware and got out a bottle of wine while Kate got the food containers out and divided up the servings. They moved around each other with ease and the conversation was easy and light. Seated at the small table in the dining room, Kate took in the rather sparse furnishings. The house was certainly clean and neat but there were not a lot of homey touches. She wondered if an ex-wife, or two, had cleaned out the place.

She noticed Jethro was moving carefully and he looked like he was still in some pain. She wondered if coming over had been a good idea.

"I hope my being here is okay. Are you sure you feel like having company?"

"Your being here is very okay. I feel fine."

Kate looked at him skeptically and he noticed.

"Okay, maybe not fine but you being here certainly won't hurt. Anyway, I was starving and you saved me from Chinese take out."

"Glad to help."

When she smiled at him, Jethro did actually feel better. Kate had more than a small caretaker instinct and somehow Jethro brought it out in her. He had always made her feel like she wanted to take care of him; protect him. From what, she had not a clue. Himself maybe?

Kate sensed that talking caused Jethro some physical pain in addition to the mental pain it always caused so she decided to carry the conversation. She told him about her new team and the cases they were working on. There was an opportunity to do some anti-terrorism work that was exciting to her and maybe even some undercover work. That made Jethro nervous for some reason he didn't want to explain to himself.

When they finished eating Jethro felt better than he had in a long time. Of course he hadn't had a decent meal in days and the company sure didn't hurt either. He offered Kate some more wine and when she nodded he emptied the bottle into her glass.

"You sit still and let me clean up these dishes."

"I can do it later. The cook never cleans up."

"Well, tell you what, when I actually cook for you we can follow that rule. Tonight, you let me wait on you." 

"Kate, I. . ."

"Jethro, don't argue. You are obviously still hurting and it's not like there's a lot to do. I'll have this cleaned up in no time."

"Okay but only if you promise to stay a while and sit outside with me and enjoy the evening."

"That's a deal. Besides, we haven't had our dessert yet and I'm not leaving here without a piece of cheesecake."

Jethro watched Kate quickly clear the table, throw out the food cartons and start washing their dishes. He tried very hard not to think about how much he liked having her in his kitchen. He shoved aside the good feeling he got from having her take care of him and worry about him. He refused to let himself acknowledge that he liked her more than just a little bit. And he absolutely refused to accept the idea that all those feelings he was trying to ignore scared him. But when Kate turned around and smiled at him, Jethro didn't care about all that, he only cared about the next few hours and enjoying them with the beautiful woman presently leaning against his kitchen counter.

"You said something about sitting outside and enjoying the evening."

"I did. Come on."

Jethro stood up and taking Kate's hand he led her to the back door and outside to the deck. They settled into comfy deck chairs and let the sounds of the evening wash over them.

After a few minutes Kate said, "It's so nice out here. Very quiet to be so close to the city."

"Yeah, all the trees help keep the noise down. I spend a lot of time out here when the weather's good."

"I can see why. Have you lived here a long time?"

Now Jethro had to think about his answer. He wasn't ready to share the whole story so he settled for the simple answer knowing Kate wouldn't push. That was one of the things he liked best about her; she seemed to sense when he didn't want to talk about something.

"Yes, a long time. When I first moved here those trees were barely above the fence."

His hesitation and tone of voice told Kate not to ask any more about that. She decided to steer the conversation in a safer direction.

"How long have you and Ducky worked together? 

"Seems like forever. I worked with Ducky when I was in Europe years and years ago. We had some real adventures. Duck is a good man; the best ME I've ever known."

"And a wonderful storyteller."

"For sure."

Jethro told Kate a couple of stories of their early days working together and eventually told her about some of his work with Mike Franks. It was the most he'd talked to anyone at one time in a while.

When they had been sitting outside for almost an hour Kate reached for his hand. They were sitting close enough that she could easily touch him.

"How about some dessert?"

"Sounds good. Does that mean you're ready to go home?"

"No, it means I'm craving cheesecake! Can we bring it back out here? I don't want to miss this glorious night air."

"Of course. Come on, I'll make us some fresh coffee."

Not letting go of her hand Jethro stood up and pulled Kate up with him. They stood very close for just a moment before Kate leaned in and kissed him softly on the mouth. Her fingers very gently traced the bruise on his cheekbone then her lips brushed over the same spot. When she went back to his mouth Jethro pulled her as close as he could considering he had one arm in a sling, and kissed her until neither of them had any breath left.

"Been wanting to do that for a long time. I'm glad you got us started."

"Me too. You, Agent Gibbs, are a very good kisser."

"Really? You're not too bad yourself Agent Todd."

"I believe people can always improve. Sometimes all they need is practice."

"Hmmm."

Jethro leaned into her and let his fingers get tangled in her hair. Kate wrapped her arms around his waist and held him in place while he kissed her again and again, quick soft kisses all over her face before she finally captured his mouth and didn't let go. She opened her mouth to him and moaned when his tongue explored and tasted her until she thought she might melt into a puddle. Pulling back finally, Jethro rested his forehead on hers and trailed his hand up and down her back.

"God, Kate, you feel good to me."

"Likewise. I didn't hurt your shoulder did I?"

"What shoulder?"

They laughed and kissed again, just a regular, I-really-do-like-you kind of kiss. Then Kate took a small step back and reminded him they were going to have dessert and coffee. Jethro let her go and followed her into the kitchen. He made some fresh coffee and Kate served them each a piece of cheesecake. They took their plates and cups back outside and sat at the table enjoying their dessert and just being together. Neither of them spoke, they didn't seem to need words to communicate. After a while the wind picked up and it cooled off considerably.

"I better get going. It's late and you still need to rest."

"Not yet. Come inside and sit for a while. Please."

Jethro knew she couldn't resist when he used the magic word. And, Kate knew he knew and was doing it on purpose to get his way. Maybe someday she would be able to say no to him but not tonight.

"Okay. Come on, let's take these dishes in."

They took the plates and cups to the kitchen but Jethro insisted they leave them in the sink for him to take care of tomorrow. He took her hand and led her to the couch.

"Wanna see if there's a movie on you want to watch?"

"Could we just sit here and talk or just relax?"

"Definitely."

So that's what they did. They relaxed and Kate settled into his side. Jethro had his arm around her shoulder and they didn't speak for a long time. Eventually, Kate ran her hand up inside his tee shirt and traced random circles on his warm skin. When she ran her hand over his bruised ribs he automatically flinched. Kate stopped immediately and raised her head to look at him.

"What happened? Are you hurt there?"

"Just a couple of bruised ribs. It's alright."

Kate started to withdraw her hand and Jethro moved his arm to stop her.

"No, don't stop. I just wasn't expecting it. Your hand feels good there."

Kate very carefully ran her fingers over the same area and then moved up to play with the hair on his chest. Jethro let his head fall back on the cushion and closed his eyes. He knew they were on the edge of dangerous territory but he didn't want Kate to stop or leave. Kate felt herself being drawn ever closer to Jethro and she knew she needed to get herself under control. She had not meant for this evening to get so intense but they were definitely moving in that direction. She decided, reluctantly, that it was time for her to go home.

Kate sat up and withdrew her hand from under Jethro's shirt. She leaned over him and kissed his shoulder and then his face.

"I should go. I had a very nice time Jethro."

Jethro looked at her and sighed. He didn't want her to go but he knew it wasn't the right time to ask her to stay. Another night maybe.

"I had a great time. Thank you for the dinner. I owe you one." 

Kate stood up and Jethro walked her to the door. He kissed her once more for good measure then opened the door for her.

"Take care of yourself Jethro. I'll see you."

"Night Katie. Drive safely home. I'll call you."

This time Jethro did remember to call. He called Kate on Sunday afternoon and they met for a late lunch. Nothing particularly notable happened; they just had a nice time together and enjoyed a couple of fun hours. The next week Kate was swamped with work and Jethro spent two days just doing the paperwork to close out his case from the Kitty Hawk. Ducky checked his shoulder on Wednesday and told him he could start some light exercise with it. He was still using the sling just because he sometimes forgot and did something that really hurt.

Jethro and Kate continued to have lunches or dinners together for the next several weeks. Kate called sometimes just to check up on him and he liked that even though he wasn't much for talking on the phone. When she was out of town on an assignment for a couple of days, he worried about her. Things were going smoothly and they were both having fun with each other. Kate was probably more attached to Jethro than he was to her but she was prepared to be patient. She'd been asked out by a couple of guys over the past few weeks but she always said no. She was focused only on Jethro.

For his part, Jethro was happy with his relationship with Kate. Every time he was with her he felt good. She was easy to be with; not demanding of every detail of his life and willing to let him just be himself. He was content with how things were going except that he wanted to sleep with her but he wasn't getting that "go ahead" vibe from her. Though supremely confident in his work and with most women that little voice of reason in his head wondered if that was their age difference showing up. Did Kate not find him sexually interesting? Every time he had that thought he gave himself a mental head slap.


	7. Chapter 7

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 7

About three months after he and Kate began seeing each other regularly, Jethro and his team began working a difficult and emotional case. After they had been at it for several days, Kate came to understand that the second "B" in Gibbs really did stand for bastard. He knew he wasn't treating her well. He wasn't returning her calls, when he did answer he was short with her on the phone and the one time they did meet for lunch he had almost nothing to say and wasn't really listening to what she was talking about. Jethro was aware of all this but he told himself he couldn't help it. That's just how he got sometimes and it didn't matter who he was married to or dating or just sleeping with at the time, he shut them all out. When they got tired of it they left. Ducky had tried over the years to help him during these difficult times but it never really made a difference. Maybe a shrink could have told Jethro he was subconsciously testing or pushing away the person he was with so they would leave before he got in so deep he got hurt. Again. But since he would never have that conversation he never heard that.

Kate knew Jethro's reputation for being hard to get along with and she had heard the saying about the second "B" in his name. Still, when she was face to face with the real thing it was hard to accept. She had called him the second day of this particular case and he said he was busy and would call her back. When he didn't call in two days she called him again, just to say hello and check on him. It was well after work hours so she had expected to find him at home. Unfortunately, he was still at work and almost bit her head off when he answered the phone.

"Yeah, it's Gibbs."

Kate cringed at the sound of his voice and wished she hadn't called.

"Jethro, sorry it sounds like this is a bad time."

"Working, Kate."

"Okay. I just wanted to check on you and say hello."

"Gotta go."

And that was it. A total of four words to her; seven if you counted him answering the phone. Kate forced herself not to take it personally. She knew he was just focused on the case and she had seen first hand when they worked together, how that made him act. She waited another three days before she called Abby to see if she had any advice about calling or not calling Jethro.

"Hey, Abby how are you?"

"Hi, Kate. I'm okay. We're trying to figure out a tough case and it's got everyone pretty wired. I imagine you are wondering about Gibbs."

"I am. I called a few days ago and it wasn't pretty. Is he alright?"

"Not really but there's nothing anyone can do about it. He's getting a lot of pressure from the Director and SecNav to close this case but we keep hitting a wall. He and Tony are in Norfolk chasing down a lead but I don't think it will pan out. He'll be okay when he catches this killer."

"Abby, is there anything I can do to help him? Not with the case of course but just, you know. . .something to take his mind off it for a while or something."

"I doubt it. When he gets like this we generally just steer clear and wait for the storm to pass."

That didn't sound like what Kate wanted to do but she didn't say anything to Abby. After all, Abby knew Jethro better than she did and she had undoubtedly seen him in this state many times over the years. Kate knew Abby loved Gibbs but Kate also had some pretty serious feelings for him; different than Abby's naturally, and she wanted to at least let him know she was thinking about him.

"Do you know when he and Tony will be back?"

"Tomorrow for sure if not tonight. Kate, take my advice, don't get too close right now and don't take this personally. Gibbs is treating everyone badly these days. He'll be fine once he closes the case."

"Thanks Abby. I'll be careful."

Kate thought about Jethro the rest of the day and finally came up with a plan of action. She would need some help and decided to try and enlist Ducky as her co-conspirator. She called him that evening as she was leaving her office.

"Ducky, it's Kate. Do you have a few minutes to talk to me about Jethro?"

"Yes, of course my dear. Is everything alright?"

"Not really. I know Jethro is all tied up in this case and he's not talking to me. I know he has to focus and he gets so wrapped up in a case he shuts everyone out. That's pretty much what's going on."

"Yes, this is a difficult case and he is getting a lot of top down pressure. It doesn't help that a child is involved; those cases always tear at Jethro more. I'm afraid you will just have to ride out the storm with the rest of us."

"That's pretty much what Abby said. Ducky that just isn't enough for me. I don't want to interfere at all but I want to let Jethro know I'm thinking of him and I'm here if he needs me."

"Well my dear the problem is Jethro may very well need you but he doesn't realize that. And he would be very unlikely to admit it, even to himself. But, what do you have in mind? I'll certainly help you if I can."

"I just wanted to leave him a card on his desk. Would you put it there for me when you get in tomorrow?"

"Of course. That sounds harmless enough and just might help. Will you bring it to me tonight?"

"Yes, I'll drop it off in an hour or so if that's okay."

"That will be fine."

Ducky gave Kate his address and she headed to the Hallmark store to find some cards for the next few days. However long this case took, Kate was determined that Jethro would know she was thinking about him. She vowed not to go overboard but she couldn't stand by and let Jethro go through this period without her support. Obviously he had done so in the past but now that they were more or less involved she couldn't stand by and not at least try to support him. She hoped she wasn't over estimating her importance to him. If she was she reasoned, she might as well find that out now.

Kate chose several cards that were blank inside so she could write only what she wanted for the message. She sat in her car in the parking lot carefully thinking about what she wanted to say. She decided on a card with a fierce looking orange cat on the cover. Inside she wrote: _Jethro, I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and hope you are taking care of yourself. Call me when you can or if you want to vent. Be safe. Kate._

Satisfied with what she'd written Kate headed to Ducky's house. Ducky answered her knock right away and welcomed Kate into his home.

"I really appreciate you doing this for me Ducky. You don't think he'll be upset do you?"

"No, I don't think so. He's frustrated and exhausted and he hates to show any weakness. That's why he's so gruff and hard to get along with at times like these. He's pushing himself twice as hard as he is pushing his team and that's saying something. I think he'll appreciate your support even if he never tells you so. Jethro is not used to having someone stand by him through thick and thin. Not the women in his life at least."

"Well it will take more than a bad mood and unreturned phone calls to make me lose interest. If you think it will be alright I'll drop another card off for him in a couple of days. Could I bring it to you here again?"

"That will be fine. You seem to really care for Jethro. If I may be so bold, is this something serious for you, my dear?"

Kate thought about that for a few moments. She didn't know quite what to say in response; she had asked herself the same question several times in the past few days. She wasn't offended by the ME's question because she knew how close he and Jethro were.

"I'm not entirely sure Ducky. I care for him and I certainly worry about him. Serious? I'm not sure what that might mean. I'm not seeing anyone else at the moment and have no desire to do so. Long term? I don't know, maybe. That will depend partly of course, on Jethro and how he feels about me I suppose. I could see it happening maybe down the line but for right now I'm trying to settle into a new job and I'm not looking for a long term commitment. I'm not sure Jethro is built for a long term relationship; he seems happy with the way things are now."

"Well you two haven't been seeing each other for that long so my question is probably a bit unfair. I worry about Jethro like a son which is what provoked my question. Just think of me as a meddling parent."

"I don't mind the question. In fact I ask myself the same question regularly. Of course I know his track record and it's not encouraging. Did you know any of the ex-wives?"

"All of them. In fact I introduced him to his second wife. I'm almost surprised our friendship survived! Jethro has been alone for a long time now. I don't know if he wants to be in a long term, serious relationship but I do know he cares about you. That's been pretty obvious to those of us who know him well ever since we all met on Air Force One. If you think you might want to stick it out with Jethro I will say only that while he comes with his challenges he is worth the effort. He is a fiercely loyal friend and I don't know a better man."

"I agree with you. He is challenging but also very intriguing and I like a challenge. I better get going Ducky. Thanks again for being my messenger and for the talk."

"You are more than welcome, my dear. I'll take care of it in the morning."

When Gibbs arrived at his desk early the next morning there was Kate's envelope waiting for him. He didn't recognize the handwriting on the envelope but there was a sticky note attached that said: _This is safe to open. Ducky _ Jethro was pretty sure Ducky wasn't leaving him cards so he figured it was from Kate. He hesitated just a few moments and then opened it. He let a little half smile form while he studied the cat on the cover. Then he opened the card and read Kate's brief note. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath then read it again. The simple message touched him and he suddenly felt a tiny bit lighter and less exhausted than he had when he walked off the elevator.

Jethro knew he had been a bear lately and wasn't likely to let up until this case was over. Holding Kate's simple message though gave him a good feeling. If she was willing to go to this trouble maybe there was something between them he hadn't yet seen. Maybe she had what it would take to stick with him. Maybe he needed to let her know he appreciated her. Jethro stepped over to the elevator and as DiNozzo came off, Jethro got in telling his senior agent he was going for coffee. DiNozzo didn't think anything of that until he saw a cup on his boss' desk, steam still rising from the drinking slot. He looked back at the elevator and shook his head.

Of course Jethro wasn't really going for coffee; he just needed some privacy and fresh air. It was early but he knew Kate would at least be on the way to work if she wasn't already there. He found a quiet spot, pulled out his phone and punched in Kate's number.

Kate was just getting out of her car when her phone beeped at her. She smiled when she saw the caller ID.

"Good morning."

"Thank you for the card."

"You're welcome. I hope you don't mind."

"I don't. I appreciate you going to the trouble. Know I haven't been . . "

Kate interrupted him.

"Don't worry about it. I know you're on a tough case. I just want you to know I'm thinking about you and I'm here if you need me. No pressure, no expectations, Jethro."

"Thanks. This will be over soon. Hope so anyway. Thanks again, Katie."

"You're welcome. Take care of yourself Jethro and be safe."

"Okay. Bye."

That card was a turning point of a sorts for Jethro and Kate. Neither of them really realized it at the time but much later Jethro at least, would admit he began to see things differently after Kate took the trouble to look past his avoiding her and offer him some encouragement.

Kate sent a second card three days later. The message was much the same and Jethro again called to thank her. He was still trying to solve the case but it wasn't going well. Kate was headed out of town for a few days but had wanted to make sure Jethro knew she was thinking of him. She kept asking herself why she was going to all this trouble for a man she didn't really think she would be with in the long run. All she could come up with was that she liked him, she worried about him and she felt as she had from the beginning, a strange urge to take care of him.

The case Jethro was working on continued to drag out and after another week the team had to let it go and work on a new murder case in DC. They continued to chase leads on the old case but even the Director had to agree the trail had gone cold. It frustrated the entire team to have to admit they hadn't solved their case but new crimes were being committed and they had to find justice for those victims too.

When Kate came back into town she got really busy with her job and didn't have much down time. Jethro was worrying over their cold case while still working whatever came to them during the week. Whatever time either of them might have had for dating was severely limited by their respective jobs. Jethro barely noticed. He was used to being alone and didn't think much about dating most of the time. In fact he never thought of himself as 'dating'. He did occasionally think about Kate and wonder how she was but he never took the time to call her. Kate had thought the new job would be less stressful and in a way it was but she was still working crazy hours and went home exhausted most nights. She sometimes wished Jethro would call but then she realized she was in bed by ten o'clock most nights and figured she didn't have the energy to date right now anyway. It seemed their few dates had been a nice interlude for them but now they were once again drifting back to being alone.

Late one Friday night in the middle of June, Jethro closed the file on their cold case for the umpteenth time and dropped it in his desk drawer. Before he closed the drawer he saw Kate's card and took it out. It was the first one she'd sent him all those weeks ago. He shook his head when he thought about the fact that he was still trying to solve that same damn case. Reading the card again reminded him that he missed Kate. On an impulse he picked up the phone and called her. On the third ring he looked at his watch and saw it was almost midnight. Damn! He hoped he didn't wake her up but it was too late to hang up now. On the fifth ring Kate answered and he knew immediately she'd been asleep.

"Hello." Her answer was mumbled and barely audible.

"Kate I'm sorry I woke you."

"Jethro? Are you alright?" Now she was wide awake wondering why he was calling so late after so long a time.

"I'm fine. I was leaving work and I had no idea it was so late. I'm really sorry."

"No, it's okay. I'm glad to hear your voice. What are you doing at work so late?"

"I was going over the Phillips file again. Listen I could call you back if you want."

"No, it's fine really. Phillips, is that the case you were working on for so long?"

"Yeah, we never solved it. I reread the file a few times a week thinking something will pop for me. How've you been? How's the new job?"

"It's been crazy. I've thought about calling but I never seem to have any free time. I thought being off protection would be easier but so far it's not so much."

"I understand. Hey, you like baseball?"

"I have four brothers. Yeah I like baseball. Why?"

"My neighbor gave me two tickets to the Nationals game tomorrow. Would you like to go? I know it's kinda short notice so if you can't I understand."

"I'd love to go. What time?"

"The game's at two. I could pick you up about eleven and we could have some lunch then go to the game."

"That sounds perfect."

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning. And Kate, I'm not sorry I woke you up anymore."

"I'm not either. See you tomorrow. Night Jethro."

"Night Katie."

Jethro walked to the elevator with a smile on his face and a spring in his step that belied how tired he really was. Kate rolled over and went back to sleep dreaming of baseball and a very handsome Special Agent.

Jethro went home and slept in his bed for the first time in a long time. When he woke up seven hours later he laid on his back, eyes closed trying to figure out how he was feeling. His back didn't hurt and his head was clear, he wasn't tired. While he was brushing his teeth he finally figured it out-he was happy and looking forward to the day. He had been planning to go to the baseball game by himself. He enjoyed the symmetry of the game, the smell of the freshly cut grass, the battle of wits between the pitcher and the batter, and he didn't mind being there by himself. Now though with Kate going along he found he was really looking forward to the day. And even more surprising, he found he didn't mind the feeling. He was happy to be looking forward to something especially since it was spending the day with Kate Todd.

Being on time was a trait engrained in Gibbs at home and then again in the Marine Corps. This morning he was not only on time; he was early. In fact he was so early Kate wasn't even ready. She answered the door in her sweats and a tee shirt. As soon as he saw her, Jethro knew he'd screwed up.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm early. I can wait out here if you want."

"Don't be silly, come in. I'm running a little late."

Kate took his hand and pulled him in the door. Without thinking Jethro leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hmmm you smell good."

Kate was so surprised by his kissing her she hardly had a response to his compliment.

"Oh, well thank you. There's coffee in the kitchen. Right through there. I'll run up and get dressed. Give me ten minutes."

"Take your time. If you have coffee I'll be happy for a while."

Jethro headed off to the kitchen and Kate smiled after him. She watched him for a moment then shook herself and headed upstairs to get dressed. She selected dark blue capris and a red cotton tee since red was the Nationals' color. She slipped on some comfortable canvas shoes and pulled her hair into a loose ponytail. Jethro was dressed in some worn jeans and a polo so she knew he was expecting casual. She applied minimal makeup and light lipstick. Picking up her purse she checked herself in the mirror and, satisfied with how she looked, headed downstairs.

Kate found Jethro standing at the sink inspecting her faucet.

"It leaks, I know. I hate it."

"I can put in a new one for you if you want."

"Really?"

"Sure, nothing to it. Do it tomorrow if you want."

"I'd love that."

"Okay, ready to go?"

"Ready."

They stopped for lunch on the way to the ballpark and arrived in time for batting practice. Jethro was impressed with Kate's knowledge of the game and her enthusiasm. He loved baseball and he was thrilled that Kate seemed to be having fun. She was sitting on his right side which meant he could see her when he was looking at the batter. He spent almost as much time watching her as he did the game. He loved the way she got excited and grabbed his arm when something good happened for the home team. Luckily for him the Nats were having a great game so she got excited a lot.

After the game they waited for the crowd to disperse a little then walked hand in hand to the car. Kate leaned into him and Jethro put his arm around her shoulders.

"That was so much fun. Thank you for bringing me."

"You're welcome. It was a good game. Have you been to many Nats games?"

"Only two or three. My brother, David and I came last summer when he was visiting and I've been a couple of times with friends from work."

"You hungry? Wanna stop and have something to eat before we go home?"

"I've got some leftover lasagna at home if that interests you. Or we can stop."

"Lasagna sounds great if you don't mind."

"No, not at all."

They drove back to Kate's townhouse in mostly comfortable silence. Jethro appreciated the fact that Kate didn't seem to need to fill every moment with conversation. She was easy to talk to but she also was easy to be quiet with which earned her lots of points with Jethro.

He asked how the job was going and Kate filled him in on some of what she was doing. He was glad to hear she was enjoying what she was doing. He had been worried she would miss the excitement of protection detail. He caught himself feeling glad that she wasn't in that particular job anymore and wondered what that was about. He certainly didn't have any right to worry about her professional life. Did he?

When they got to Kate's house she went upstairs to wash up from being out in the hot sun all afternoon while Jethro cleaned up in the downstairs bathroom. Before Kate came back down Jethro inspected the kitchen faucet and confirmed his initial thought that it needed to be replaced. It looked like it was the original faucet and was definitely in bad shape. He would have that taken care of before noon tomorrow.

Kate came down and put the lasagna in the oven to warm up while she made a small salad. Jethro opened a bottle of wine for them then sliced some bread and Kate added the garlic spread before putting it in the oven with the lasagna. She set the small kitchen table for them and they sat down to enjoy their wine.

Jethro felt like little pieces of his protective barrier were falling away like dried paint chips on an old house. His comfort level was rising and his defenses were falling. Every time Kate brushed her fingers on his hand or laughed or smiled her beautiful smile at him he felt more paint chips falling around his feet. Part of him wanted to keep his protection in place but an ever growing part wanted to let Kate keep right on scraping away. He understood that would leave him bare and vulnerable but for some reason he just didn't care.

Jethro was having trouble controlling the urge to kiss her so when Kate finally got up to get their food out of the oven he was very glad. He gave a small sigh of relief when he had something to concentrate on besides Kate's lips moving when she talked to him. He was beginning to feel like a teenager on his first date; all he could think about was kissing the woman across the table.

The food was delicious and Jethro realized he was really hungry so for a while anyway he was under control. Kate wondered why he was acting sort of strange but she didn't think much of it. They had had such a fun day and she was happy to have Jethro in her home. She knew she was falling for him and every time she was with him she knew it with a little more certainty.

Once dinner was over and the kitchen cleaned up Jethro decided he needed to go home. Kate was closing the dishwasher and when she turned around he was right behind her. Jethro crowded into her space and she backed up against the counter. He put his hands on either side of her face and ran one of his thumbs over her lips.

"I better go, Katie."

"Really, 'cos I was thinking you should stay a while."

She was having trouble concentrating and her voice was barely a whisper. Jethro leaned down and kissed her ever so softly on the mouth.

"I will be back in the morning to get you."

Jethro had pressed forward just enough that they were in full body contact. His fingers were now combing through her hair. He tilted her head up and kissed her again this time with just a bit more feeling.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why are you coming back in the morning?"

"To go buy a new faucet. Then we'll come back and I'll install it for you."

His mouth was at her ear and a plumbing task had never sounded so sexy before. It was all she could do to form a response.

"Okay."

Then Jethro got serious and kissed her like he had wanted to all evening. Kate wrapped her arms around his middle and held on for dear life. She opened her mouth to him and Jethro settled in to taste her and steal her very breath away. Eventually he pulled back to let her catch her breath and rested his forehead on hers. Kate wasn't about to let go so they stayed there against each other for a long few moments.

"I better go Kate. I'll see you in the morning."

"You sure you have to go?"

She was looking at him with such desire in her eyes that he had difficulty making himself step back.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I had a really good time today, Katie. I'll be here at nine o'clock. Okay?"

"Okay. I had fun today Jethro. Thank you for a wonderful day."

"It was my pleasure. Night."

He kissed her lightly on the mouth and turned to go. Kate stood rooted to her spot for a second before she realized he was headed for her front door. She caught up to him as his hand reached the doorknob. She couldn't let him leave without one more kiss. She managed to snag his arm and he turned around just in time for her to pull him down for an intense, toe-curling, goodbye kiss.

"See you in the morning. Night Jethro."

Jethro just smiled at her and opened the door. When he was gone Kate hugged herself and did the happy dance all the way to her bedroom. She was hooked and she knew it and she was glad. Jethro was everything she had ever wanted in a man and she was determined to make the most of whatever time they had together.

All the way home Jethro had a silly grin on his face. He managed to ignore the little voice in the back of his head that told him to be careful. He didn't need the warning he told himself because he wasn't going to get caught up in Kate Todd. He liked her and he especially liked how she felt in his arms while he was kissing her senseless. As a man he was proud that he could elicit such a powerful response from a young, attractive woman. He was proud of himself too, for maintaining some self-control and leaving before things got out of hand. On the other hand he knew he was going to be there again tomorrow and he wasn't making any promises to himself that he'd leave before something happened then. After all he was a man and she was a woman and they obviously both wanted things to get out of hand.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 8

When Jethro arrived at Kate's the next morning she was taking a tray of homemade cinnamon rolls out of the oven. She opened the door and invited him into the kitchen for coffee and rolls.

"These are really good, Kate. You made them yourself?"

"Yes, my mom's recipe. I don't make them very often because if I do I eat them! I thought since you'd be here to help it would be okay."

"I will be glad to help you eat these anytime."

After they had coffee and several cinnamon rolls each they headed for the hardware store. Jethro took her to a small, neighborhood store he liked to use rather then the larger, national chains. They didn't have as many options to choose from but Jethro knew from experience they would have what Kate needed. They stood in the aisle while Kate studied her choices.

"Do you want the same kind you have or would you like something different?"

"I never gave it much thought. A faucet is a faucet as far as I'm concerned. I had no idea they were so expensive. What do you recommend?"

"Well, here's one just like what you have. I don't really like it because now it's mostly plastic. Won't last long. Would you like one that has a pull out nozzle?"

Kate's eyes lit up when she looked at the one Jethro was showing her.

"Hey, that's cool. I think I would like that."

"I have this one in my kitchen. I like it because you can change the water flow and pull it out and you don't have a separate sprayer."

"I like it. Let's get that one. But what about the hole in the sink where the sprayer is now?"

"There's a little plug you get for that. We'll pick one up in the next aisle. Anything else you need while we're here?"

"I don't think so. Do we need anything else to install this thing?"

"Nope. Got it all in the truck."

Kate paid for the faucet and the plug and in just a few minutes they were on their way back to her house. They rode in silence with the radio playing softly in the background. It was a beautiful summer day.

"Jethro, are you sure you want to spend the day replacing my faucet? It's such a nice day and I'm sure you have other things to do."

"Won't take more than an hour to take out your old faucet and put in the new one. Plenty of time to enjoy the day after that."

"Okay, thank you."

"Besides, I want another cinnamon roll."

While Jethro had his fourth cinnamon roll and his second cup of coffee, Kate got busy clearing out the cabinet beneath the sink. Once she had everything out of the way, Jethro sent her out of the kitchen so he could get to work.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stick around and help? You know, hand you a wrench or something?"

Jethro gave her a smile and told her he had it under control. Then he disappeared under the sink. Or at least half of him did. Kate was left with a wonderful view of his legs and crotch. The worn jeans he was wearing didn't do much to hide his nice masculine form and Kate had trouble making herself leave the kitchen. But she did.

Kate went upstairs and gathered her laundry. On a whim she decided to put clean sheets on the bed. . .just in case. She had spent most of the previous evening and night dreaming about Jethro. Having him in her house, working on her faucet somehow made her feel very vulnerable and possessive at the same time. She liked to think he didn't go around doing household chores for every woman he dated but for all she knew he did. After those kisses they'd shared yesterday, Kate wanted more. More kisses, more touching, more of him. She had a suspicion he wanted more too and that's why the clean sheets were going on the bed. Just in case they both got what they wanted today.

Twenty minutes later Kate went downstairs with her laundry on the way to the basement. Jethro was in the kitchen drinking coffee and opening the new faucet.

"Got the old one out already?"

"Yep. It was definitely on its last leg."

Kate watched him unpack the new faucet and organize it for installation. He threw the old faucet in the box and all that in the bag from the hardware store.

"You don't need the directions I suppose."

"Kate, men don't read directions. Besides, I've installed this very same faucet in two other sinks in the last year. I know how it goes."

"So, I'm not the only damsel in distress you've rescued with your plumbing skills."

She was fishing and they both knew it. Jethro looked at her for a moment and decided not to let her suffer.

"Only if you consider Ducky and my father as damsels. You, Agent Todd, are the only woman for whom I have demonstrated my plumbing skills in a very long time."

Kate had the grace to blush at that.

"Oh. Sorry, that was tacky of me."

"That's okay."

"You sure I can't help you with something?"

Jethro turned around from setting the faucet in the sink and grinned at her. He reached out and caught her wrist and pulled her against his chest.

"You could offer some moral support by kissing me."

"Yes, I could."

And she did. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him for all she was worth. It wasn't a slow burn of a kiss it was a sudden, heated kiss that told Jethro he better hurry up and finish his task. Kate leaned into him and he felt himself getting very aroused. This woman did things to him that hadn't been done in a long time. He was feeling things he thought were out of the question for him to feel. Jethro let his hands get all tangled in her hair and then when he absolutely had to have a breath, he eased her back.

"Damn, Katie."

"Too much?"

She was smiling at him and her eyes were dancing with mischief and lust.

"No, not by a long shot. But if you don't get out of this kitchen in the next ten seconds you won't have a working faucet for quite a while."

"I'd rather have some more of you."

Jethro closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he took another one.

"In about twenty or thirty minutes you can have both. Now, go on out of here. Please."

Reluctantly, Kate gave in and with a quick peck on his cheek she left him standing in the middle of her kitchen with a very uncomfortable feeling in his jeans.

True to his word, thirty minutes later Jethro was cleaning up his work. The faucet was installed and tested and the sink cleaned. He had put some stick down floor tiles he had brought with him on the floor of the cabinet and put everything back in place. After he washed his hands he went to the basement to find Kate. Her basement was a lot different than his; no boat for one thing. She had a laundry room, half bath and a storage room along with a nice finished lounge with a small couch, lots of books and a television. The room was cozy and cool; a good place to spend the afternoons on a hot summer day.

Kate was curled up asleep on the couch, her paperback on the floor beside her. Jethro watched her for a while. He knew he wanted more than a few kisses but he was leery of getting too attached. More precisely he was leery of Kate getting attached to him. He believed he could manage his own emotions but he didn't want Kate to get serious about them. He didn't do serious. Standing there watching her Jethro remembered she was an adult who was very capable of taking care of herself. Besides, he told himself she was unlikely to get all that attached to him anyway. His age and his track record were enough to make her think twice about any serious relationship with him. Hopefully they could both get what they wanted and then move on before anyone got hurt.

When he walked over to her, Kate opened her eyes and smiled at him. She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair pulling it back into a ponytail.

"All finished?"

"Yep. Come try out your new faucet."

Jethro reached down and pulled her up. Kate stretched up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Jethro forgot all about his concerns and kissed her back, pulling her tightly against his chest. When they came up for air Kate didn't let go. She could feel what all this kissing and closeness was doing to Jethro. Running her fingers through his hair she kissed him again. His control which was not all that good anyway was rapidly slipping away as Kate continued her assault on his mouth. The feel of her in his arms, pressed against his chest and running her hands all over the place was finally too much.

Jethro tugged at the bottom of her tee shirt forcing her to break the kiss to let him pull her shirt over her head. His mouth found hers again and then quickly moved to her jaw and down her neck to suck at her pulse which was racing almost out of control. His hands were unhooking her bra when he pushed her up against the nearest wall and recaptured her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss.

"Want you Katie. So bad."

His hands were skimming over her breasts and stomach and his mouth was moving in that direction. Kate felt like her skin was on fire and it was the most wonderful sensation in the world. Barely able to think much less speak, Kate finally managed to organize some brain cells into a response.

"Me too. Think we can manage to get upstairs?"

Jethro's mouth was hovering over her breast, his tongue circling her nipple and all Kate could do was hold onto him and try to keep her wits about her. _Damn he's good and he's barely even touched me yet. I may not survive this but who the hell cares?_ Kate felt his hand slide down between her legs and she automatically thrust her hips at him. _Don't think we're making it upstairs._

Just as quickly as he had driven her to the edge, Jethro brought her back down to earth when he pulled back and kissed her softly on the mouth. He took a couple of deep breaths and framed her face with his big hands. Kate couldn't read what she saw in his eyes and for just a moment it worried her.

"You sure you want this Katie?"

"Very sure. Isn't that obvious to you?"

"I just want to be sure. I don't want . . ."

"Hey, what's got you spooked? What are you worried about?"

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'm a big girl Jethro, don't worry about me."

Kate slid her hand down his front and firmly stroked him through his pants. Just as Kate had done to him, Jethro thrust toward her hand.

"I want you Jethro. I think we should go upstairs and do something about this situation down here. Whadda ya say to that?"

Kate was rubbing her hand up and down on his very obvious arousal and Jethro was about to come right there. He grabbed her wrist and stopped the torture.

"Upstairs is good. Let's go."

With that he turned, and still holding her by the wrist, he started for the stairs. On the way past the front door Kate, never breaking stride, reached over and flipped the lock. When they got upstairs Jethro let go of her wrist but Kate reached for his hand and led him to her bedroom. She turned on the sound machine on the dresser and soft jazz filled the air. Jethro pulled off his shirt and kicked off his shoes. Neither of them spoke.

Kate went to him and Jethro pulled her into his arms. He kissed her and when he let her go he unbuttoned her shorts and she wriggled out of them. She returned the favor and Jethro pushed his jeans down and stepped out of them. He trailed his fingers gently up Kate's arms until he reached her shoulders then he framed her face and leaned down to kiss her. It was a quick, hard kiss and then he pulled back and looked her in the eyes.

"Trust me Katie?"

"Yes."

"Good. Let me take care of you."

That was the last verbal communication between them for a while. Kate not being a passive person by nature wasn't sure she wanted to turn things completely over to Jethro but she did trust him and when he started touching her and kissing her in places he hadn't before she had no qualms about letting him be in charge. After just a few minutes she stopped trying to figure out where his hands or his mouth might go next and just surrendered to the overwhelming sensations racing through her system. Jethro was a patient and generous lover and surprisingly gentle with her. His hands, his tongue, his mouth were everywhere kissing, tasting and driving Kate to the brink of madness and exhilaration at the same time.

Sad to say but Kate had never been with a man who paid more attention to what she wanted and needed than what he wanted. Jethro was definitely that man. He spent what seemed like endless minutes touching her, kissing her, giving her all his attention and care. Every time she responded to him with a moan of pleasure or a "yes, oh god yes", he rewarded her with more of whatever had elicited that response. It seemed as if he all he wanted to do was give her pleasure. He certainly succeeded.

Jethro couldn't get enough of her. He wanted to devour her. He wanted everything she had and at the same time he wanted to give her whatever she wanted. Although he would not have admitted it to himself he was making love to Kate; not just having sex with her. He knew that somewhere in his soul, but he had avoided that particular emotion for so very long that he might have had difficulty recognizing it on his own. All he knew this afternoon was he was finally with this beautiful, sexy, intriguing woman he'd wanted for so long and he was going to make sure they both enjoyed it to the max.

By the time Jethro collapsed next to Kate and pulled her into his side, they were each wonderfully satisfied and exhausted. Kate rested her head on his chest and listened to his pounding heart. Her own heart and breathing were gradually coming back to normal. Jethro gently combed his fingers through her hair. Kate wanted to say something but for the life of her she couldn't quite form what she thought of as a coherent sentence. Finally she settled for the only thing that seemed to cover what she felt.

"Wow, Jethro."

"Yeah, me too."

They lay together, touching each other, stroking still heated skin and enjoying the fact that they enjoyed each other so damn much. Pretty soon Kate wanted to do some exploring of her own and before long she was the one touching and kissing and finding all Jethro's sensitive spots. He was more than happy to let her have her way with him. He quickly realized that Kate was very soon going to exert a certain level of power over him that he had surrendered to only two other women in his lifetime; Shannon and Jenny. Before he gave up thinking entirely and lapsed into simply feeling and enjoying, he pondered that fact for a few moments. But then Kate wriggled down his body and did something with her tongue that caused him to lose the ability to think about anything or anyone at all except the two of them.

What seemed like a long time later Kate was again nestled into Jethro's side her head resting on his shoulder and her hand playing in the soft curls of his chest hair. They were quiet together although just a short time ago that had been some rather loud exclamations and name calling. Jethro was surprised that Kate was so loud but he had to admit he liked the fact that he could drive her to a scream. He would also be forced to admit that she had managed to reduce him to begging at least twice. And some of the loud exclamation might have been his.

"What are you thinking, Katie?"

"I was wondering why it took us so long to get here."

"Would you rather I had taken liberties with you when we first met?"

"Not when you put it that way."

Kate leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. She loved the feel of his skin and the smell of him and the way he touched her. And quite a few other things about him as well.

"I'm glad we took some time to get better acquainted. It's just that if I had known it would be so damn good with you, Jethro, I would have seduced you a long time ago."

"Thank you. You are certainly worth the wait yourself, Ms. Todd."

"Would you care to join me for a quick shower and some lunch?"

"I would."

Jethro rolled over and holding himself just above her, leaned down and kissed Kate lightly on the mouth. He knew he was in dangerous territory and he needed to be careful about what he did from here on out. He knew he wanted to be in this bed again but he didn't want Kate to get serious about them. In a way he felt that made him something of a jerk but he couldn't let her or himself get caught up in the romance of moment. For a few moments he thought about warning her off but this didn't seem like the proper time or place for that so instead he kissed her again then got up and pulled her out of the bed with him.

After a not so quick shower they both got dressed and headed for the kitchen for lunch. Kate tried out the new faucet and was very pleased. She got out everything for sandwiches while Jethro found chips and drinks. They each made their own lunch and took it outside to sit on the patio. It was a small, concrete slab with barely enough room for a table and two chairs.

"You need a proper deck back here, Katie."

"Yes, I'd love that but it's not in the budget yet. I had a guy give me an estimate on a very basic design but all I could afford were the materials. The labor was way too much."

"I could build it for you," Jethro said matter-of-factly.

"You could?"

"Course. Nothing to it really. Take a couple of weekends is all."

When they had finished eating, Jethro went to his truck and came back with a measuring tape and note pad. He asked a few questions most of which Kate answered by telling him to do what he thought was the best thing. He drew a rough outline and explained to her he could easily build her a nice size deck that would come right off her bottom step. He said it wouldn't be very far off the ground and would cover up her existing small patio. He promised there would be plenty of room for a table and chairs as well as a grill and some flower pots.

"I'm working next weekend but I can get a list of materials ready for you to call in and have delivered the next week."

"Do you think I need to do anything with the homeowner's association?"

"Probably get their approval. Let me write down all the dimensions so you can tell them exactly how large it will be. It won't be attached to the house. Be sure they know it will be less than eighteen inches off the ground at the most. Sometimes that makes a difference in who has to inspect it. Let me know if you have any problems with them and I'll call and figure it out."

"Jethro, this is wonderful. I don't know how I'll ever thank you."

"You made a good start on that already." The gleam in his eyes told her exactly what he meant.

"That was for the faucet," she laughed.

"Damn, all that for a simple faucet. I won't survive you thanking me for a deck."

They were quiet with each other for a while after that. Both of them thinking about what today meant. Neither of them sure and neither wanting to put a voice to their wondering. Finally Jethro stood up and said he needed to go home.

"I really enjoyed today, Jethro. I hope you got that message."

"I did. And I enjoyed it too." Not wanting to go any further down that road Jethro said, "I'll call you later in the week. Maybe we can get together for lunch and I'll give you the materials list."

"That would be great. Are you sure you want to do the deck? I don't want to take up all your time."

"I'm sure. It won't take that much time."

Jethro leaned down and kissed her and before he knew it he had her wrapped in his arms and the kiss was going way beyond a simple goodbye. He eventually had to have a breath so he reluctantly pulled back and ran his thumb over her lips.

"Gotta go Katie."

"Okay. Bye."

"Stay here. I'll let myself out."

From that weekend on Jethro and Kate spent a lot of time together. Two weeks after he replaced the faucet he started on her deck just as he had told her he would. Kate helped where she could but Jethro mostly preferred to work alone. Kate kept him supplied with cold drinks and tried not to gawk at him all sweaty in a pair of shorts and work boots and no shirt. She fed him lunch and supper and when he was showered and clean they fell into bed together and she thanked him for all his hard work. Jethro assured her she was more than welcome.

The second weekend of the deck project Kate got to help a little more and learn how to use power tools. Even though she grew up with brothers, she didn't have much experience building things. Kate's dad was handy and liked to do things around the house but growing up Kate had very little interest in helping. She was into sports and her girlfriends and didn't spend much time at home. She told Jethro she wished she had spent more time with her dad when she was growing up.

"How about you, are you and your parents close?"

"My mom died when I was fourteen. My dad and I are close now but there was a time when we weren't."

Jethro didn't elaborate and Kate knew him well enough now to know he was finished with that topic. Jethro was still a mystery to her in many ways but she was getting pretty good at gauging his mood and understanding his subtle, unspoken hints. Kate never pushed which was one of the most important things she had going for her as far as Jethro was concerned. There were lots of things she wanted to ask him about such as his three ex-wives but Kate valued what they had at the moment too much to pry where she knew Jethro wasn't ready for her to go. Besides, she told herself every day that they were just enjoying each other and she was not going to get serious about him. The more time they spent together the harder it was to convince herself of that limitation but she still tried every night.

Once the deck was finished Kate bought herself a new gas grill and they christened the deck one evening with steaks and beer. Jethro had been working for the last three nights so by the time he got to Kate's for their celebration dinner he was almost too tired to enjoy it. He had considered calling her and backing out but he knew she was looking forward to having supper outside and it was such a great evening he decided to go ahead and go over there. They had a great time and he was pleased that Kate was enjoying the deck so much.

"I come out here every evening and read or just sit and enjoy being outside. Thank you again, Jethro, it is so wonderful to have some outdoor space."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you're enjoying it. The plants look great too."

After they had eaten Kate insisted he relax while she cleaned up the dishes. Jethro relented and sat back to enjoy the nice evening. He was so tired that his two beers had him almost asleep. Kate could see how exhausted he was so she took her time cleaning up. It was getting harder and harder for her to believe they were just a casual thing. At least she was not feeling very casual toward Jethro anymore. Over the past few weeks they had spent considerable time together even if just for a quick lunch or coffee. Kate called him, with his agreement of course, most days just to see how he was doing. She worried about him all the time and was always relieved to know he was home safe at the end of the day.

She tried very hard not to think about the future; the next few months or the holidays at the end of the year. She knew a man with three divorces must have some bad qualities and she wondered when Jethro's would surface. She knew from his own lips that he could be a bastard at times. He hadn't shown that to her except during the Phillips case and that hadn't been all that bad once she understood what was happening. She was beginning to not care about those things and she knew that could be dangerous. She'd made a bad mistake with a boyfriend in college and she certainly didn't want to repeat that experience. Kate told herself over and over again not to fall in love with Jethro but it didn't seem to be working.

The one thing that was keeping her from falling over the proverbial edge was Jethro's very obvious determinaton not to get serious about her. He was very attentive to her, very affectionate to a point but he was not possessive of her and she kinda, not really, wanted him to be. They had not slept together since he finished the deck. She knew him spending the night would be a big deal and she was willing to be patient for that but she was curious about why he seemed to have cooled off in the intimacy department. That one factor is what had Kate thinking maybe he had just scratched an itch with her and was ready to back off. Then again, he had been working insane hours the last couple of weeks and she had also been pretty busy so maybe they just hadn't really had the time to connect. Kate, ever the optimist, told herself everything was fine and she just needed to be patient. For Jethro, she could be patient.

Kate was so deep in thought about him that she didn't hear Jethro come in the kitchen and stand behind her. Only when his arms wrapped around her waist and his mouth ghosted over her bare shoulder did she realize her was there.

"Oh, I didn't hear you come in. I'm sorry I've been so long."

"No, it's okay. I should go. About to fall asleep out there."

Kate turned in his arms and gave him a slow, sweet kiss.

"I hope you have a quiet couple of days to end the week. You wanna do something this weekend?"

"We could go sailing if you'd like. A friend of mine is looking at buying a new boat and wants me to take it out and see what I think. Supposed to be a good day Saturday."

"I'd love to go."

"Okay, I'll pick you up at eight o'clock. We'll be out all day if that's okay."

"Sure. I'll bring the food."

"Great. I'll bring the beer."

Jethro tunneled his fingers into her hair and leaned down to kiss her. He hesitated just a moment and locked eyes with her. Kate thought he was going to say something but he didn't. He kissed her and as she wrapped herself around him he deepened the kiss until she wasn't sure she could stand up on her own. Needing to breathe finally, Jethro slowly backed off and traced his thumb over her lips. Again, he looked her in the eyes and she thought he might say something. Again, he didn't. Instead he dropped lots of soft, quick kisses all over her face and then gave her one more really hot, devouring kiss.

"Night, Katie. See you Saturday."

"Good night Jethro. Be careful out there."

"You too, Agent Todd."

And he was gone. Kate stood in the kitchen wondering about those very serious looks he'd given her. She thought she knew him but she had to admit there was still a lot of mystery attached to Special Agent Gibbs. Well, she was an investigator after all; she'd find the answers eventually.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 9

Saturday was a nearly perfect day in every way. The weather was warm and there was enough breeze to make sailing a pleasure. The water was calm and still cool and the two people on the boat were happy to be spending such a glorius summer day with each other. It didn't hurt that they were both only about half dressed and very attracted to each other. Jethro was definitely in his element handling the boat and Kate very much enjoyed watching him. He was wearing a pair of worn, soft, canvas shorts, deck shoes and a cap and sunglasses. Kate never tired of looking at him and today, with the sun kissing his bare chest and back she could barely keep her hands to herself. As he squinted into the sun she reached for the sunscreen and went to sit next to him.

"I was wondering if you were going to sit over there all day."

"Just enjoying watching you at the controls. You really love this don't you?"

"Yeah. Being out on the water is the best thing. Being here with you is even better."

Jethro leaned over and kissed her.

Kate scooted behind him and squirted some lotion on his back.

"Let me get some of this on you before you burn."

Kate smoothed sunscreen over his back, shoulders and arms. Then she told him to turn around and she focused on his chest. Before she got him all slick with sunscreen though she indulged in running her fingers through the soft curly hair she loved so much. She dropped some gentle kisses on his chest and then worked her way up his neck to his jaw and finally she covered his mouth with hers and gave him his first proper kiss of the day. Jethro let go of the wheel and pulled her tight against his chest. His hands were skating up and down her back and he eventually untied her top. Kate finally had to relinquish her hold on his mouth so they could both catch a breath. Jethro told her not to move, quickly checked their position and, finding they were no where near anyone or anything else he lowered the sail and turned his attention back to Kate.

Jethro maneuvered them to the nearest bench seat and proceeded to take complete control of the situation. He kissed her like he had never kissed her before. He was demanding and greedy, taking what he wanted from her. His hands were everywhere and pretty soon he had her bikini bottoms off her. Kate did her best to keep up but he was almost frantic and she was having trouble matching his intensity. Just when she was about to pull away from him, Jethro slowed down and let her breathe. His touches became more gentle and he gave her a litte more room to get her hands on him.

Jethro sat up and pulled Kate onto his lap. She looked into his eyes and saw the intensity there, the lust that she had not seen in a while. His hands were skating up and down her sides, barely grazing her breasts. When his hands moved down to grasp her butt she rose up and he began to worship her breasts with his mouth. The quiet moans of pleasure Kate was making heightened his need for her and his erection was straining against the soft material of his shorts. Kate could feel his arousal and managed to get one hand between them to stroke him.

He hated to move from feasting on her breasts but his condition called for a position change. Jethro stood up, never letting go of Kate and turning around he laid her on the cushion. Luckily it was wide enough to accommodate both of them. He dropped his shorts and carefully laid down next to her, leaning over her to kiss her softly on the mouth. His hand ghosted over her breasts, touching her so gently she barely felt him. When she opened her mouth and welcomed his exploration his hand was suddenly stroking her center and she moaned into his mouth.

Now the intensity was back and Jethro couldn't wait any longer. He moved over her and when she opened herself to him he wasted no time. As he entered her, felt her welcome him to her moist, hot center he couldn't help but call out her name. It had been weeks since they had been intimate and Jethro realized in this moment how much he had missed Kate. As they moved together, giving and taking their pleasure from one another he understood this was more serious than he had ever wanted it to be.

As they were coming back to earth and getting their heart rates down, Jethro heard the approach of an other boat. He quickly pulled on his shorts and got back to paying attention to the boat instead of the passenger. He grinned over at Kate as she pulled on her bottoms and sat looking around for her top. He held it up to her and then shoved it in his pocket.

"You don't want tan lines do you?"

"Very funny, Jethro."

Kate dug around in her bag and came up with a tank top. She pulled it on and put her hair back in a pony tail. Then she sprayed some sunscreen on her arms, legs and the back of her neck.

"I could do that for you if you want."

"Not sure I trust you right now, thanks."

Kate laughed at his stricken expression and headed for the cooler. She got them each a beer and went to sit next to him.

"That was a bit unexpected, Jethro. A very nice beginning to our day but unexpected none the less."

"Not okay?"

"No, definitely okay. Just very intense and I was wondering where it came from. I am not complaining in the least."

Jethro looked out over the water for long time before he said anything. Kate knew him well enough to wait. She let her hand glide softly up and down his back.

"I've missed you, Kate. I hope I didn't hurt you."

"You didn't. It was good, Jethro. Really good. And, I've missed you too."

"Work gets in the way of the rest of my life a lot. I hope you realize that. It can be a problem."

"I do realize it and it's not a problem. I respect what you do Jethro and I don't intend to ever let it be an issue between us."

They were quiet then for a while. Jethro concentrated on sailing the boat and tried not to think about the emotions he had experienced a few mintues ago. His admittance that he had missed Kate had surprised him because he almost always kept his feelings to himself and even letting something as innocuous as missing her be spoken aloud was not normal for him. He desperately wanted to just let go and enjoy this woman but he was so used to living his life closed off and alone that he wasn't even really sure how to go about doing what his heart seemed to be begging him to do.

Kate was turning over in her head that Jethro seemed to be talking about them in the future. His statement that his job could get in the way seemed to mean that he saw them staying together for a while at least and he wanted to warn her of possible problems. She was excited by the prospect of Jethro actually thinking of them as more than just friends; even friends with benefits. Kate knew she was most definitely thinking about Jethro as more than a friend; more than just a lover even.

The rest of the day was mostly uneventful at least in terms of intense, mind-melting sex. There was still lots of touching, caressing and kissing but the two of them managed to control themselves for the most part. Jethro tried to interest Kate in learning to handle the boat but she was much too happy watching him. They ate lunch in a quiet cove and took a dip in the cool water. While Kate lounged in the sun, Jethro gave the cabin and engine room a thorough inspection. He went over every inch of the boat with a critical eye so he could give his friend an honest evaluation of the craft. As evening approached and Jethro turned the boat toward home they were both tired, sunburned and very relaxed with each other.

In the car on the way home Kate broke their comfortable silence.

"So, do you think you will recommend to your friend that he buy the boat?"

"I couldn't find anything wrong with it. She handles very nicely and the cabin is nice and roomy and clean. It seems the previous owner took good care of her."

"And the bench seats in the stern are nice and wide and comfy."

Jethro laughed out loud. "Yeah, thank goodness for that."

Kate smiled at him and he reached for her hand. He kept their fingers laced together until he pulled up in front of Kate's townhouse. He leaned over and kissed her.

"Come in and I'll find us something to eat."

"Okay."

Just as they stepped into the house Kate's phone rang. Jethro took the cooler back to the kitchen and Kate joined him a few minutes later with an unhappy look on her face.

"I can't believe I'm the one saying this but I have to go to work."

"You're kidding."

"No, I'm sorry. I had such a wonderful time today, Jethro. Thank you."

"Me too. Don't worry about going to work. Obviously I understand. Call me when you get home. No matter what time it is, call me."

"I will."

They wrapped themselves up in each other's arms and shared an intense, passionate kiss. Reluctantly, Jethro stepped back and headed for the door.

"Call me, Katie."

After that Saturday of sailing together, Jethro and Kate fell into an easy routine. Kate called him most every day just to hear his voice and make sure he was okay. They met for dinner at least twice a week whenever their schedules allowed and spent at least part of every weekend together. As their time spent together grew, they began to talk about more than work and the news. Kate told Jethro lots of stories about growing up with four brothers in a very traditional family. She talked at length one evening about her father's concerns regarding her chosen career and her mother's worries that she would never find the right man. Jethro had no comment on her mother's worries but said he would be glad to tell her father she was excellent at what she did for a living.

Jethro told Kate about growing up an only child in a small Pennsylvania town. He talked about his dad teaching him to shoot and fish and work with wood. When he talked about his mother and her dying when he was just fourteen he let Kate wrap him in her arms and comfort him. That was not something he had allowed any of his ex-wives to do. Indeed, he had never spoken about his mother to any of them. The subject of Shannon and Kelly was not broached and Jethro wondered if and when he would ever tell Kate about them. He was beginning to think Kate was the real thing but every time he found himself believing that he looked at her and remembered how much younger she was than he and how much more she deserved out of life. She deserved and he was sure she wanted children. They never even came close to that subject. They never came close to even next month much less any long range plans. Both seemed content to live in the moment or the week at least and neither thought the other wanted anything more. At least not yet.

Unbeknownst to Jethro, Kate was beginning to think about the future and in her mind Jethro was absolutely a part of that future. In fact, she was having difficulty these days imagining her future without Jethro as part of it. As the summer came to an end Kate suggested to Jethro that he invite the team over for a Labor Day cookout.

"Ducky usually has everyone over to his house. I was going to ask if you would like to go with me."

"Yes, of course I would. Do the others help? Should I bring anything?"

"No, Ducky has a friend who caters all the food. It's usually really good. We don't do a thing but show up."

"Sounds easy enough. I'll plan on it."

The week before Labor Day Weekend Jethro and his team caught a terrible case that kept them tied up for three days and nights. They were looking for a child and mother who had disappeared leaving behind a bloody car and nothing else. The husband/father was deployed and had to be brought home from Afghanistan on emergency leave. Kate's calls went unanswered for two days and she finally gave up and called Abby to find out what was going on. Once she knew what was happening she wisely backed off and didn't call again. On the fourth day they found the mother and her little girl in a filthy apartment, relatively unharmed but terrified nonetheless. They arrested the mother's former boyfriend who had fallen into drugs and alcohol after his own return from war. He thought the woman and child belonged to him and couldn't understand why they were so afraid of him. It was a sad and tragic case but fortunately no one was seriously hurt and the man would get some help.

Even though there was a good outcome, Jethro was mentally and physically exhausted at the end of the case. His entire team was worn out and he sent them all home early that evening telling them to come in a couple of hours late the next day. He hadn't seen or talked to Kate all week but he was just too tired to think about that so he went home to seek comfort in his old reliable twosome; his boat and his bourbon. Something in the back of his mind said he should call Kate but he didn't. No particular reason for it, he just didn't call her. He went home, took a hot shower and trudged to the basement. He hadn't worked on the boat in ages and he missed the rhythm of sanding and sipping, sanding an sipping.

Kate was worried about him but she was smart enough to know he needed his space after a really tough case. She called Abby to find out how things had turned out and was relieved to know they found both mom and child unharmed. And, best of all, Jethro had not had to shoot anyone. She fretted for two hours about whether or not to call him and finally she got in the car and drove to his house. Kate reasoned they were close enough that she could offer her comfort or whatever and if Jethro didn't want her there she would understand that and go home. She knew he often brooded over a case and she had considered staying home but in the end her need to see him and reassure herself he was okay overrode her worries about his reaction.

Jethro heard the front door open and close and then her footsteps on the floor above him. He had thought she might show up and he wasn't unhappy she had done so. That thought surprised him. He continued sanding and when she descended the creaky staircase he looked over and was pleased to see she had a pizza in her hand.

"I didn't know you moonlighted as a delivery person."

"Only for you."

Jethro took the box from her, laid it on the workbench, and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her slow and deep and she wrapped herself around him, soaking him in and giving herself to him at the same time.

"Thank you. For the pizza and for coming."

"You're welcome for both. Are you okay? Abby said it turned out pretty well considering."

"Yeah. I guess. Sure could have been worse. Sorry I didn't call you."

"Don't be. I knew you were covered up. I didn't know if you'd want me here tonight but I was sure you wouldn't eat so here I am."

"I do want you here. Pizza or not."

By the time they got around to eating the pizza it was cold but neither of them seemed to care. Sitting on the worn couch, still in the basement, Kate was nearly asleep when Jethro pulled her up and led her to the stairs.

"C'mon, you need to get home. I seem to remember you saying you had an early meeting tomorrow."

"I do. Is everyone going to Ducky's on Sunday?"

"Far as I know."

"Goodnight, Jethro. I'm glad your case is over."

"Me too. Night, Katie."

The next few days were quiet and on Saturday Jethro and Kate went to Olde Town for an early dinner. They ate in a quiet little place with candles on the tables, expert wait staff and wonderful food. Walking to the car, holding hands they were the picture of a happy couple out for the evening. Their peaceful, private evening was disturbed by Kate's phone ringing. They arrived at the car and Jethro opened her door for her. Kate stood listening to the phone and making only occasional comments. Mostly she said "yes" over and over again. Jethro was getting a bad feeling. Finally Kate put the phone away and braced herself to deliver the bad news.

"What was that all about?"

They were in the car but Jethro wasn't starting it. He reached for her hand because he could see she was upset. Kate took a deep breath and reminded herself she really liked her job.

"I have to go to work tomorrow."

"Oh, well at least it's not tonight."

"No but I'll be gone for a while. We have a sting op running and the agent who was supposed to be 'wife' in the setup was in a car accident today and can't go. I'm the backup person. I leave tomorrow morning."

"For where?"

"I can't tell you. It's all classified."

"Are you up to speed on the op? Have you been in on all the meetings and planning?"

"No."

"No! That's not a good idea Kate. Not very good planning."

"Nothing I can do about it Jethro. I'm just following orders. Let's go home."

Jethro drove them to Kate's townhouse without another word. They were both lost in their thoughts about the situation. Kate was running what little she knew about the operation in her head and Jethro was worrying about what he thought was poor planning that would put Kate in danger. When they got to Kate's they went inside and Kate went to change her clothes while Jethro got a beer and headed for the couch. Kate returned, got herself a bottle of water and joined him.

"I'm going to miss the party on Monday."

"What can you tell me about this op?"

"Very little. We're after some very sophisticated counterfeiters who also deal some weapons on occasion. They're operating along the coast from Norfolk down to Charleston. I've kept up on what's going on but I'm not totally prepped on the cover story. I'll get all that tomorrow. Don't worry Jethro, I'll be fine. There's a whole team on this."

"I will worry. There should always be a backup team fully prepped."

"I know that but there's nothing to do about it now."

"The op could be put on hold."

"Apparently not. Look, I know you know what you're talking about but can we just let it go, please? I have to go that's it. Isn't there something else you'd rather be doing than talking about this?"

Jethro's answer to that was to kiss her. After some more of that they abandoned the couch and headed for the bedroom. They took their time and paid attention to all the little things they knew the other person liked. When they first became lovers, Kate had been overwhelmed by the amount of care Jethro took with her. He was gentle and attentive and always seemed to put her first. He could also be very controlling and demanding and she liked that side of him almost as much as his gentler side. Tonight he took his time and let her know he was going to miss her while she was gone. Lying together, touching and easing back to normal they drifted off to sleep together.

Jethro sat up on the side of the bed about an hour later and looked down at Kate sleeping beside him. He had never spent the night but he didn't want to leave her tonight. She had never asked him to stay though so he reached down for his boxers and was prepared to get dressed and go home. Kate woke up and reached out for him. Jethro pulled on his underwear and sat back down. He brushed her hair back off her face and laid his hand on her cheek.

"Go back to sleep. Call me in the morning before you leave."

"Jethro, stay. Don't go home tonight. Stay with me."

Jethro looked at her and didn't have to think about his response. He pulled the sheet back and motioned her to move over. He slid in beside her and pulled her into his arms. Kate snuggled into him resting her head on his chest with her arm holding him close.

"Go to sleep, Katie. I'm right here."

Kate just mumbled and went right back to sleep. Jethro lay awake a long time that night thinking. He had never spent the night before by his own choice. He knew it might seem silly to some men but for him, spending the night took things to a new level. A more complicated and more involved level. Jethro was simply not ready to admit to himself that he was falling in love with Kate. He wouldn't let himself acknowledge that because if he did he would have to do something about it. He truly believed Kate deserved more than he could offer; a better man than he was at least when it came to the women in his life. He was also afraid to admit his feelings because he knew when he did he was going to give Kate a certain amount of power over him that he had not relinquished to another woman in a very long time. He finally drifted off to sleep wondering what in the hell he was going to do about Kate Todd.

At five o'clock the next morning Jethro woke up to Kate kissing him and snaking her hand into his boxers to really wake him up. Once he was awake enough to participate she proceeded to rock his world like she had never done before. When she had had her way with him she leaned down and whispered in his ear.

"Just something for you to think about while I'm gone."

All he could say as she slid off the bed and headed to the bathroom was, "Damn Katie."

As soon as he heard the shower come on, Jethro got out of bed, ran some toothpaste around his teeth and joined Kate. She had left the bed too quickly and he was not nearly satisfied after the wake up call she'd given him. Now it was his turn to give her something to think about while she was away. Eventually they got around to using soap and shampoo but by then most of the hot water had been used up.

Jethro dried off and dressed quickly and went to make coffee while Kate dressed. He was worried about this job she was leaving for but there was nothing to be done about it now. He hoped she got enough time to prep before the action, if there was any, really started. He knew he needed to trust her and her coworkers but since he didn't know them that wasn't going to be easy to do.

Kate didn't have to report to the office until nine o'clock so they had breakfast and a second cup of coffee before she left.

"I'm sorry to miss Ducky's party. Tell him I wanted to be there."

"I will. You be careful Kate."

"I know how to take care of myself, Jethro. I am a Federal Agent you know. Used to protect the President and all that."

She was being snarky with him to cover up her own worrying.

"I know all that. Just be careful. Call me if you can."

"Jethro do you ever call me when you're on a case?"

"No, but I don't call you when I'm not on a case either. I thought we decided you were the designated caller."

Kate laughed at him. She thought it was sweet that he was so worried about her. She also thought it was a little bit uncharacteristic but she didn't want to explore that right now. She wanted that to mean one thing but wasn't going to get her hopes up in case it meant something entirely different.

"You're right. I'll call you if I can. I better go."

Jethro walked out with her and kissed her goodbye. Then he got in his own car and went home. While Kate was reading the operations file, Jethro worked in his yard and tried not to worry. The next day was Labor Day and Jethro reluctantly went to Ducky's as planned. He really didn't want to be around his team; he wanted to stay in his basement and think but he wouldn't disappoint Ducky and for some reason his friend was always disappointed if he didn't show up for these gatherings. Jethro knew he wasn't good company on his best days and today was certainly not one of those but he went anyway.

While Jethro brooded and worked in his yard, Kate got up to speed on her assigment and, on the way to Norfolk, let her mind wander to Jethro and their relationship. Staying the night Saturday night was a big thing for him and she knew she needed to acknowledge that with him when she got home. She understood that for Jethro, spending the night was important and she let herself imagine it signaled a turning point in their relationship. Kate was sure of her feelings for Jethro but she still didn't know if he was serious about them or simply enjoying their time together until he found another red head.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Thank you for the reviews and follows.

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 10

Jethro showed up at Ducky's on Sunday afternoon even though he really wanted to be alone. Everyone was there, even Palmer's girlfriend who was very pretty and very smart. Jethro wondered briefly if Palmer was keeping his light under a basket around the office; he was sure there must be more to Palmer than what Jethro saw if he had a girlfriend like Breena. Abby gave him a hug when he walked into the kitchen and then she looked past him.

"Where's Kate?"

He decided to have a little bit of fun with his favorite scientist.

"What made you think she was coming?"

Abby punched him in the arm. "Oh, I don't know. How about the fact that you two are seeing each other very regularly and she told me she was coming with you."

"Oh. Well, she got called in to work yesterday. Sorry to disappoint you."

"I'm glad you came. You think she'll be here later?"

"No, it's long term thing I think."

Abby, who knew Jethro almost as well as Ducky did, saw it was time to move on to another topic. Or no topic at all.

Jethro grabbed two beers from the cooler and headed out the back door. A few of Ducky's colleagues from other agencies were there along with a couple he recognized as Ducky's neighbors. DiNozzo had a date with him and Tim's sister was there. Everyone was mingling in the garden, snacking and drinking and generally having a pleasant time. Jethro found a quiet spot in the shade and settled in with his beer. He watched his team interact with each other and the few people they didn't know and realized they were all very mature, gracious young people. At least they all seemed young to him. He thought about Kate and was reminded that she was more Tony and Tim's age than his. She would have fit in quite nicely with them and he didn't understand why she was still with him. That was a mystery a couple of beers was not going to solve.

Much later in the day after everyone had eaten almost all the barbecue and drunk most of the beer and soda, Ducky found Jethro still in his chair nursing what must have been his tenth beer. The neighbors and other medical examiners had left and Jethro's team was busy cleaning up the yard and putting away the extra folding tables and chairs.

"Jethro, I don't think you've moved from this spot more than twice all day. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just like this chair and didn't want anyone to steal it from me."

Tony came over and said, "Hey Boss, Ducky, we're taking off. Thanks for having us over, Duckman. The food was delicious as always."

"You're welcome, Anthony. Thank you for helping with the clean up."

Tim and his sister came over and Abby gave Ducky a hug and kiss goodbye. When they were all gone, Ducky sat looking at Jethro wondering what was on his mind.

"Talk to me Jethro. You have been brooding all day. I notice of course that Caitlyn is not with you. Is something wrong there?"

"No, she had to go to work is all. I guess I'm a little worried about her. She got called to fill in for another woman on an undercover op and she wasn't all that familiar with the plan."

"Well, I'm sure they will have her up to speed in time to do what needs to be done. As I recall, Agent Todd is very capable and a very quick learner."

"Yeah, she is. She's new to this sort of thing though so I worry."

"You didn't seem to worry when she was on the protective detail. At least not openly as you are now."

"Well, I didn't really know her that well then. And I didn't . . . " Jethro trailed off and didn't finish thought out loud.

"You didn't what? Didn't care for her as you do now?"

Jethro glanced over at his most trusted friend and scrubbed his hand down his face. Ducky could always read him too well.

"Right."

"Well, that is part of the price we pay when we care about another person. I'm quite sure Kate worries about you most every day."

"I guess so."

They two men sat in silence as as the evening closed around them. Jethro was tired and knew he needed to go home but he couldn't seem to summon the energy he needed to get up. Ducky sensed Jethro needed to talk about Kate and he was more than willing to wait until his friend was ready. The evening was warm with a very pleasant breeze so he was happy to sit there on his patio and enjoy the last Sunday of the summer while Jethro sorted himself out.

Almost twenty minutes had passed when Jethro finally spoke.

"I'm afraid she's getting in too deep."

"Too deep for your comfort or hers?"

Jethro had to think about that for a while.

"Some of both I guess. I like her, Duck. A lot. But I'm not the right man for her. She needs a younger man who can give her all the things she deserves including a family. You know I'm not a good risk for a woman like Kate."

"I'm not sure I agree with you Jethro. Obviously, whether or not you are the right man for her is a decision she needs to make on her own. Or with your input possibly. What sort of things do you think she deserves that you could not provide? Are you talking about material things?"

"No. Just a lifestyle that she should have. You know, a normal, happy family with kids, a dog, a house all that stuff."

"Which of those things are you not able to give her? You have a house, you have the means to provide for a wife and children if you had them. You like dogs. Are you thinking you are not able to be part of a happy family? Or are you just not interested in having one?"

Again, Jethro did not answer for a long time. Finally he looked at Ducky and shook his head and laughed.

"Damned if I know. I've had too much beer today to figure all that out. I better head home."

"Jethro if I may. If Kate makes you happy now why are you worrying about the future? Is she asking for something long term that you are not ready for?"

"No, she's not asking for anything."

"Then may I suggest that you just relax and enjoy her. Enjoy what you have together now. Go out together, talk to her, listen to her talk, spend as much or as little time together as makes the two of you happy. You don't have to marry the woman, Jethro. Just let what you have with Kate take it's natural course. If, at some point in the future the two of you decide there needs to be more then that is the time to worry yourself about that that magical "more" is and how you will capture it. Or let it go as the case may be."

"So just live in the moment is what you're saying."

"Yes. Enjoy the fact that a lovely young woman wants to spend time with you. Wants to be with you. My friend, looking at from my perspective, you are one very lucky man. Try to enjoy it."

"I guess when you put it that way. . . "

"If you're going home tonight I insist you have some coffee first. Or, you can come in and have a nightcap and sleep in the guest room."

"I don't really want coffee."

When Jethro woke up the next morning his head felt like it had been in a vise and it took him a moment to remember where he was. He pulled the sheet over his head and groaned. After he and Ducky had gone in the house last night he had passed on the coffee and they sat in the study sipping bourbon and talking late into the night. They didn't talk much about Kate; just a little bit but mostly about old times and old friends some of whom were gone and some they just hadn't seen in years.

Jethro slowly sat up and put his feet on the floor. He saw a glass of water and three aspirin on the table beside the bed and had to smile. Ducky might be the only person who could come in the room and leave without Jethro knowing he'd been there. He swallowed the pills and drank the entire glass of water. In the adjoining bathroom he found a new toothbrush and a small tube of toothpaste. After freshening up and getting dressed he followed his nose to the kitchen and gratefully accepted a cup of coffee from Ducky.

"Do you feel any better than you look my friend?"

"Not much. Great party Duck."

Ducky laughed and said, "It wasn't the party that hurt you Jethro. It was the talk afterward."

"I know but it was worth it. Should we go out to breakfast?"

"I have everything we need here. I'll fix it while you get the paper. Then I'll let you clean up."

"Deal."

No mention was made of Kate and after breakfast Jethro cleaned up the kitchen and thanked Ducky for his hospitality and his advice. He headed home hoping Kate would be able to call pretty soon. Jethro spent the morning paying bills and doing laundry; two of his least favorite things to do. He fell asleep on the couch watching an old western and woke up hungry at three o'clock. After a sandwich and a soda; he was not interested in beer today, he went to the basement to commune with his boat.

Jethro did some of his best thinking while sanding his boat and today was no exception. He thought a lot about Kate and what Ducky had said. He was a lucky man to have Kate in his life and he resolved to enjoy her and not look too far down the road. He was determined to relax and let things happen naturally. He knew he wouldn't stop worrying about her; that was just who he was, but he could stop worrying about them.

Kate didn't call on Monday. Or Tuesday or Wednesday. Jethro was getting anxious and his mood at the office was beginning to deteriorate beyond even his normal grouchy manner. Ducky asked him about it finally and Jethro admitted he was really worried about Kate because she still had not called.

"But if something had happened you'd know about it Jethro. Her not calling simply means she's working and doing her job. Much like you do when you are in the middle of a case she is focused on her duties and not her personal life. Is there anyone at her office you know well enough to call?"

"Not really. I know you're right but I still worry."

On Friday morning Jethro finally got a call from another agent who worked with Kate. She said she was part of the support team on the op Kate was working and that Kate had asked her to call him and let him know she was fine. She didn't have any other information she could share but did say they hoped to have things wrapped up in the next few days. Jethro thanked her for the call and his mood improved considerably.

Two complex cases came the team's way that week and suddenly Jethro didn't have time to worry or wonder about Kate. He was too busy trying to catch a killer and then find two missing Sailors. They worked through the weekend on the second case and when the new week started they were still looking for one Sailor and lot of missing cash. Jethro finally managed to get home on Tuesday morning at two o'clock but he was so tired he went right up to bed and didn't see the message light blinking on his home phone. He slept for six hours and when he finally went downstairs for coffee he saw the phone blinkng at him. He punched the button and was very pleased to hear Kate's voice telling him she was home. He immediately picked up the handset and called her while he walked to the kitchen for his morning caffeine fix.

She answered on the third ring.

"Kate, you're home."

"Yes, I called and called you yesterday but you never picked up and your cell never went through. Are you at home?"

"Yeah. My cell is . . Well, I don't know where my cell is as a matter of fact. Damn, I don't have any idea where it is. Anyway, when did you get back?"

"Yesterday afternoon late. We had tons of paperwork to do and I finally left the office about midnight. I started to call you again but figured you were busy. Unless you have been avoiding me?"

"Busy yes. Avoiding you, not likely. Can you meet me for lunch?"

"No but I can sure meet you for dinner. Or better yet, you come here and we can order in."

"That does sound better. See you about six thirty."

"I've missed you Jethro."

"Missed you too. Glad you're home Katie. See you tonight."

Jethro poured his coffee into a go mug and headed out the door. The missing cell phone bothered him and he hoped it was at the office and not lost somewhere. The cell phone was on his desk and Jethro gladly retrieved it and put it where it belonged; in his pocket. The day was spent doing paperwork and Jethro thought quitting time would never arrive. As he was finally about to leave the Director called him into his office. As he jogged up the stairs Jethro hoped this wasn't going to take too long. Director Morrow held him up for almost thirty minutes talking about a case the FBI needed their assistance with in the next few days.

"I told their Director you were wrapping up two cases now and would call Agent Fornell in the next day or two."

"Why didn't Fornell call me himself like he usually does?"

"This is a bit delicate and he probably doesn't know he's about to get your help."

"Sounds like fun. Okay, I'll call him tomorrow."

"Thanks Jethro. Have a good night."

"You too. See you tomorrow."

Jethro drove straight to Kate's house eager to see her and find out how she did with the undercover op. He had realized in the last couple of days that he had really missed Kate. Even though he had been more than busy, whenever he had a few minutes of down time he found himself thinking not of the case but of Kate. He wondered about it, this missing her, but didn't have much of a chance to really analyze what his feelings might mean. He knew he worried about her but this was more; he found he missed the small things like eating a meal together or just sitting on the couch while a movie played and Kate leaned into him holding his hand. He misssed the big thing too, the sex, but not as much as the small things. That was something he needed to think about sometime. But not tonight. Tonight all he wanted to do was welcome Kate home and enjoy the evening with her. More than ever he was determined to take Ducky's advice and enjoy his time with Kate.

When he got to the townhouse Kate was just carrying some grocery bags in from the car. He parked beside her and got a case of water out of the car, locked it and followed Kate inside. When she turned around to go back for the water she nearly screamed in surprise to find Jethro standing in the entryway.

"Oh my gosh you scared me. I didn't know you were here."

Jethro leaned around the water and gave her a quick kiss.

"Welcome back. Where do you want this?"

"In the hall closet. Thanks."

Jethro deposited the water in the closet, closed the door and happily welcomed Kate into his embrace. He kissed her a slow, sweet kiss that soon turned into a lot more. He backed her up against the wall and they proceeded to get reacquainted for the next few minutes. Finally, he let her catch her breath. Jethro kept his hands on her though and she kept her's locked around his waist.

"Whew, I'm been waiting for that for days. I'm really glad to see you."

"Likewise. It smells good in here are you cooking?"

"Just a lasagna I picked up at Luigi's. Hope that's okay."

"Perfect."

They moved to the kitchen and Kate got busy setting the small dining table while Jethro opened the wine and filled their glasses. They moved around each other in the small kitchen easily and Kate asked about his case. Jethro gave her a quick summary and then asked how her case had gone. She was happy to tell him they arrested the mastermind of the smuggling and counterfeiting ring along with several of her upper level associates. There would be paperwork to do for days on end she groaned.

"The main bad guy is a woman?"

"Yes. What, you don't know any bad guys who are women?"

"Several in fact. Smuggling isn't what I usually associate female criminals with though. I guess I'll have to change my ideas."

"Don't go changing anything, Agent Gibbs. I happen to like you just the way you are."

"Really? I may ask you to prove that after dinner."

"I was counting on it."

After they had eaten, Kate could tell Jethro was tired so she insisted he go relax on the couch while she cleaned up their few dishes. When she walked into the living room a few minutes later Jethro was asleep. She stood watching him for a few moments happy that he was comfortable enough in her home to relax and fall asleep on her couch. She knew he had had a rough week so she didn't want to wake him. As she looked at him she was again struck by how handsome he was. Kate knew in her soul that no other man would ever look as good to her as Jethro. She knew no other man would ever compare favorably with Jethro. Almost against her will she had fallen in love with him and she wondered what she was going to do if he didn't love her back someday. She understood there was a good possibility that would happen but looking at him now, so relaxed on her couch, she couldn't bear the thought of losing him. Like Scarlett though, she would worry about that another day.

Before Kate could decide whether to sit down or leave him alone a while longer, Jethro stretched out his hand toward her.

"Are you going to join me?"

"I thought you were asleep."

"I can hear you thinking. Come sit with me. I'm lonesome over here all by myself."

Kate didn't need a second invitation. She sat down beside him and Jethro quickly demonstrated that he was indeed very much awake. Before too long the couch was not a comfortable accomodation for what they wanted to do so Jethro got up, pulled her up with him and they made haste to the bedroom. As much as he had missed her Jethro wanted to take his time tonight and Kate was happy to let him set their pace. He was always so aware of what she needed that sometimes she felt like maybe he wasn't getting all that he needed from her. She had never brought this up to him and he had certainly never complained or acted like she wasn't holding up her end of their lovemaking.

"Tell me what you want Katie."

Jethro was lying beside her on his side one leg between hers and his mouth ghosting over her breasts. He had one hand skimming up and down her legs and occasionally coming oh so close to where she wanted him to touch her. He looked up at her with those gorgeous blue eyes and she knew again that she was lost.

"I think you know by now what I want you to do Jethro."

He kissed her deeply and his hand finally landed exactly where she wanted it to. She pulled him over on top of her and his hand was trapped; exactly as she had planned.

When they both had to breathe, Jethro pulled his hand free and rolled them over so Katie was straddling his hips. He liked her on top because of the view and the feel of her soft, silky skin in complete contact with his harder, more muscular body. Kate liked this way too but then again she liked just about any position she was in with Jethro especially when they were both naked. It didn't take long for them to please and exhaust one another and as they lay together Jethro wondered if he should stay or go home tonight. Kate was barely able to string a complete thought together so thoroughly had Jethro loved her but she did manage to wonder if he was going to stay the night. She wanted him to but she knew she wouldn't ask. It was up to him.

As so often happened, Jethro was saved by the ringing of his cell phone.

"Damn."

He got off the bed and managed to find his pants and the offending instrument in his pocket.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

Kate sighed and pulled the sheet over her head. She had lost count of the interrupted dinners, lunches and quiet evenings since she and Jethro had started dating. She knew it came with the territory and of course it had been her phone a few times that had ended their time together. But, really, why did it have to be tonight?

Jethro closed his phone and sat down on the side of the bed. Kate crawled over and sat behind him wrapping her legs and arms around him as if to keep him all to herself. She kissed him softly on the shoulder.

"I gotta go."

"I know."

"But not right this instant."

Jethro leaned back and Kate scrambled out of the way. He was on her in an instant kissing her all over and pinning her to the bed.

"Wanna go for a quickie?"

Kate laughed at him and pulled him down to kiss him.

"Absolutely."

They laughed at each other and got down to business right quick. Fifteen minutes later Jethro was pulling on his pants while Kate tried to catch her breath and slow her racing heart.

"Jethro, you never cease to amaze me."

He turned back to look at her as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"You mean for man my age?"

Kate sat up and looked at him in surprise.

"No, I never think about that. I meant you are always a sweet, thoughtful partner and you never disappoint me or leave me wanting. Jethro I never give any thought to your age."

"Okay. And for the record you never disappoint me either. I better go. I'm glad you're back Katie. Call me tomorrow. Okay?"

"Yes. Be safe Jethro."

Jethro kissed her goodbye and she walked him to the door locking it behind him. His remark about his age bothered her because she hadn't realized he still worried about it. She had told him the truth; she never gave their age difference a second thought anymore. Yes, Jethro was fifteen years older than she but it didn't matter to her. He was certainly still very handsome, fit and to her mind the sexiest man she had ever known. She wondered what she could do to convince him their ages didn't matter. Maybe if she just ignored the subject he would get past it on his own.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 11

As Fall marched onward toward colder temperatures, work for both Jethro and Kate warmed up. September and October were busy months but they managed to see each other on a fairly regular basis. Jethro was taking Ducky's advice and enjoying having a beautiful young woman in his life. Kate noticed the change in Jethro; he was certainly more relaxed with her and seemed to be comfortable with their relationship. They went out on occasion but found they both liked being at home more so they mostly spent their together time at Jethro's house. He seemed more at ease there and Kate was happy to be there so it worked out well for both of them. She sensed he needed the availability of the escape to the basement in case he needed to be alone. A few times she had arrived for an agreed upon dinner or simply time together to find him covered in sawdust and sipping the ever present bourbon, so focused on the boat that he barely acknowledged her presence for the first several minutes she was there. At first this bothered her but by the third time it happened she simply accepted that this was Jethro's way of coping with his day and she was smart enough not to interfere. She learned the best tactic was to give him a quick kiss and then make her self comfortable either on the old couch in the basement or upstairs in the living room. Either way he normally tore himself away from the boat and focused on her within an hour of her arrival.

Only once did he fail to realize she was still there. That night she fell asleep on his couch, slept there until two in the morning then, finding Jethro passed out under his boat, she went home. The next morning he called and apologized. He asked her why she didn't wake him up or just stay instead of going home at that hour. Kate didn't really know why she'd decided to leave so she just brushed it off and told him not to worry about it.

When they both had a weekend off they tried to spend most of it together. Jethro wasn't much of a moviegoer but Kate managed to get him to a couple of new ones over the months. They went hiking in the Shenandoah National Forest one weekend which was the highlight of the month as far as Kate was concerned. One weekend they drove up to Gettsyburg and another they spent at the beach and even though it was cold they took long walks on the sand. Kate loved being with Jethro away from DC because he seemed so much more relaxed away from their "normal" lives.

From the very beginning their sex life had been wonderful and the longer they were together the better it seemed to be. Sometimes they took what seemed like forever with one another and the next time they might barely make it in the house before clothes were flying and things were way past heated. Kate had at first been almost intimidated by the idea of sex with Jethro because even though she was certainly not a virgin she was not vastly experienced and after all, he had been married three times. She wondered in the beginning if she would be able to meet his expectations. Apparently she did because he certainly never complained and he always came back for more.

On the other hand, Jethro was initially worried that their age difference would be a factor in their sexual relationship. Though he had been married four times; the total number Kate was not aware of, he was very much a traditionalist in the bedroom and since Kate was a lot younger than him he wondered if he could keep up and if he could satisfy her. Neither of those worries had lasted very long as Kate was quick to let him know exactly what she liked and needed and always made sure to let him know she enjoyed him. A lot. His ego always got a boost when he was with Kate whether they were out for dinner, camping in the woods or making love. He had to keep reminding himself of Ducky's advice to simply enjoy his good fortune and not worry about the future which he knew all too well, always took care of itself anyway.

November was a miserable month; unseasonably cold and wet. There was just enough snow and slush to keep the streets wet and cars filthy. The sun came out for about ten minutes every other day then the gray was back along with a cold wind. Jethro hated November and especially December anyway and this year's weather wasn't helping. He was tired of holiday music long before Thanksgiving and since he hadn't celebrated Christmas for almost twenty years he couldn't wait for the calendar to turn on a new year. On top of all that misery, Marine and Navy personnel seemed to be getting killed or assaulted with some real regularity and Jethro's team was swamped with cases.

Unlike Jethro, Kate loved the winter months and the holidays. Growing up in a large family she looked forward to the traditions of Thanksgiving and Christmas. It didn't take her long to figure out Jethro was not a holiday person but she tried not to let that dampen her spirits. She knew she was going home to her parents'house for Christmas so she didn't worry about how she and Jethro would spend the holiday. Thanksgiving was another matter and she was determined to have at least that one day be a happy one for the two of them.

One night about a week before Thanksgiving as they were snuggled together in front of a fire at Jethro's house Kate decided to broach the subject.

"What do you want to do on Thanksgiving? Do you usually get together with the team for dinner or what?"

"Ducky usually has everyone over for dinner. Everyone brings something and he provides the turkey."

"Sounds nice."

Kate didn't say anything else. She waited for Jethro to invite her and after a few minutes he shifted around to look at her. She tried her best to concentrate on the way the fire was dancing and crackling but eventually she broke and met his gaze.

"What?"

"I was going to invite you. Did you think I wouldn't?"

"No. Not really. It is just a week away you know. When were you going to tell me about it?"

"I don't know. Were you thinking you'd go somewhere or what?"

"No, I wasn't thinking of going anywhere! I was thinking I'd like to spend the day with you and hopefully pry you out of the gloomy pit you have been in for weeks now."

"Gloomy pit?"

"Yes, Jethro you are in a bad mood all the time and you have not one ounce of holiday spirit in your entire body."

"Really? Not even an ounce? Anywhere? I'd like to invite you to verify that by personal inspection if you don't mind. I have a feeling you will find some very happy spirit if you look hard enough."

By this time he had shifted them on the couch until he was looming over her and his mouth descended on hers in a deep, passionate kiss. Kate wrapped herself around him and held on for dear life. When he pulled himself back to let her breathe she held his face in her hands and looked at him with eyes full of love and desire for him. Jethro closed his eyes and kissed her on the forehead.

Kate watched as some emotion she couldn't identify passed over his face. She continued to hold his face in her hands gently stroking her thumbs over his lips.

"You okay?"

"Let's go to bed and you can look for my holiday spirit."

"Okay. I might be persuaded to do that."

It didn't take much to persuade Kate to do that and quite a bit more that night. She dismissed that mysterious look she had seen from Jethro and concentrated on doing her best to wipe away any questions or doubts or whatever he might have about them. Their lovemaking was intense and thorough and they fell asleep exhausted, wrapped in each other's arms.

The next day Kate called Ducky and asked what she and Jethro could bring to dinner.

"Well my dear Jethro is usually in charge of bringing the dinner rolls."

"Ducky, I think I can do better than that. What do you need?"

"How are you with sweet potatoes?"

"I'm almost an expert. At least I know how to make them like my mom does. And, we'll bring rolls too!"

"Wonderful. I'm happy you are coming Caitlyn. How are the two of you?"

"I think we're fine. Very good in fact. Sometimes Jethro goes to a place emotionally where I can't seem to reach him but for the most part we're good."

"Yes, I know what you're speaking of. Be patient my dear. He's worth it."

"I agree Ducky. See you on Thursday."

Thanksgiving dinner was a huge success; Ducky said it was the best celebration they'd had in a long time. Everyone, even Jethro, was in a holiday mood and they all enjoyed the day immensely. Although Kate had not spent a lot of time around Jethro's team she knew them and liked them. She knew how important they were to Jethro and appreciated the closeness they shared because it meant they were looking out for him in the field. And, she knew he considered them family even if he rarely acknowledged that. There was no doubt in her mind that he would do anything for each of them and vice versa. Watching them interact away from the job was as much fun for Kate as anything else that day. She didn't fail to notice how much attention Tony paid to her and Jethro when they were near each other.

Tony managed to catch Kate alone in the kitchen while they were cleaning up.

"So, you and the Bossman. This a serious thing, Agent Todd?"

Kate was a little taken aback particularly when she realized Tony was not kidding with her.

"Well, Agent DiNozzo I don't quite know how to respond to that. I'm not sure Jethro would appreciate me discussing his personal life with you."

Kate kept her tone light but she was serious.

"I'm sure he wouldn't which is why I asked you while we're alone." Tony stepped a little closer and said very quietly, "I don't really know you Kate but I can tell you and Gibbs are pretty cozy. Just don't do anything that gets one of you hurt. Especially Gibbs. He's had enough of that already."

"I have no intention of hurting him Tony. You can be sure of that."

"No one ever does."

At just that moment Jethro walked into the kitchen and saw the exchange between Kate and Tony. Having worked for Gibbs for so long Tony could sense him there before he saw him.

"And the sweet potatoes were great, Kate."

Tony turned around and walked out without looking at his boss.

"What was that all about?"

"Just Tony being silly and complimenting me on the potatoes. Nothing really."

Jethro crowded her back against the cabinet and held her there with his hands on her hips. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the mouth and when she wrapped her arms around him he kissed her again with a little more intensity.

"I don't believe you but I don't care right now."

"Good because I have already forgotten him and whatever he said. You have that affect on me sometimes."

"Really? Why don't we go home and see if I can make you forget some more stuff."

"Why Agent Gibbs, what a scandalous suggestion. I believe I'll take you up on it!"

"Good. Let's tell everyone bye and get out of here. I've waited almost as long as I can to get you alone and show you a few things I'm thankful for."

They said their goodbyes to everyone and soon were on their way home. As they pulled away from Ducky's house Kate reached for Jethro's hand.

"Do you mind if we go to my house?"

"No of course not."

"It's just that I haven't been home much lately and. . ."

"You don't have to explain, Katie. If you want to go to your house it's fine with me. I like your bed as well as mine or more and you have more food. Besides what I care about is if you're there. Any place where you are is fine with me."

Kate squeezed his hand and closed her eyes against the tears that gathered there. She knew she was hopelessly in love with this man and all she could do was hope and pray that he would someday feel the same way about her.

When they got to Kate's house she put the leftover pie Ducky had insisted they take in the kitchen and Jethro started a pot of coffee. They didn't get to the coffee for quite a while however. When he turned around from pouring the water in the coffeemaker Kate was right there in his personal space. She was pulling her sweater off over her head and the look on her face told him he better hurry up or he was going to be left behind. Jethro reached for her and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard and fast on the mouth.

"I'm kinda in a hurry here Jethro. Do you mind if we move along?"

"Not at all."

The rest of the evening was spent in the bedroom. There was a lot of laughing and quite a bit of loud calling out of each other's names and not a small amount of begging from one Agent Gibbs. Kate couldn't get enough of Jethro and every time he thought he was worn out she proved him wrong. Finally as she was lying on him totally exhausted and supremely happy she let her head fall to his shoulder and he knew they were finished; at least for a while. Jethro was running his hands up and down her back and reveling in the feel of her stretched out in full body contact with him. He loved the feel of her and he too could never get enough.

Kate moved to lie on her side with one leg still between Jethro's legs and her hand making lazy circles on his chest. She raised up on her elbow so she could look at Jethro's face. His eyes were closed and there was just the ghost of a smile playing around his mouth. She knew he was pretty well worn out but he wasn't asleep; not yet anyway. She traced his lips with her finger and he opened his eyes to look at her.

"I want to say something but I don't want you to say anything back okay?"

"How can I promise that when I don't know what you're going to say?"

"Just don't say anything right away. Maybe later but not right away. Please, Jethro."

"Okay. Since you said please. And since I'm so tired right now I probably couldn't answer anyway."

Kate closed her eyes and when she opened them she looked Jethro right in the eyes. Her hand was on his chest resting over his steadily beating heart. She knew she was taking a risk but she couldn't wait any longer.

"I love you Jethro."

He opened his mouth but she stopped him with her finger pressed to his lips.

"You promised. I know I'm probably getting ahead of myself here but I can't not tell you how I feel about you. I love you."

Jethro took hold of her wrist and kissed her palm. Then he rolled over and holding himself above her he kissed her. He kissed her so thoroughly and with such passion that when he pulled away from her she was unable to think much less speak.

"Katie, you are more important to me than anyone has been in a long time. I don't deserve your love but I thank you for it and for telling me."

When Kate started to speak it was Jethro's turn to silence her with a finger to her lips.

"Let's just leave things as they are for now. I don't know about you but I'm exhausted."

"Okay."

Jethro pulled her back against his chest and held her close with his arm at her waist. Kate reached for his hand and pulled it to her mouth to kiss his palm. Then with his hand firmly in hers she fell asleep. Jethro lay awake for a few minutes thinking about Kate loving him. It felt good but at the same time it worried him. It meant there was no way Kate was going to get out of this relationship unhurt. And that bothered him a lot. He still knew in his soul that one day she would leave him. After all why should she be any different from any of the other women who had said they loved him? Just because she believed she loved him now it didn't mean she wouldn't get hurt somehow and decide to leave in the end. He wished she hadn't gotten to this point but, he had to admit that he had some very strong feelings too. He was just too jaded at this point in his life to believe he could love Kate. Even though he wanted to.

Kate's declaration of love wasn't discussed the next day or even any of the several days after that. As Jethro was kissing her awake on Friday morning his phone rang and he was called out on a case. Truth be told, they were both relieved they didn't have to talk about what Kate had said the previous night. She didn't regret her proclamation but at the same time she didn't want to talk about it when she was sure Jethro would not reciprocate.

Kate enjoyed her day off simply hanging around the house and relaxing. She certainly had no interest in fighting the crowds to do any shopping. When Jethro had not called by six o'clock she figured he was still working and she wouldn't hear from him so she fixed herself some dinner and settled down to watch a movie on pay-per-view. Apparently the movie wasn't as compelling as advertised because she fell asleep and didn't wake up until her phone rang two hours later.

"Kate did I wake you?"

"Hi mom. I fell asleep watching a movie. How are you?"

"I'm fine. I called yesterday to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving but I missed you and then got busy and didn't call back. Did you have a good day?"

Kate told her mother about going to Ducky's for dinner and spending the evening with Jethro. She had told her mother some about Jethro but not a lot of details. She wanted to wait and do that when she visited for Christmas.

"When will you be here for Christmas?"

"My plane gets in at two thirty on the twenty-second. I can get a car if dad doesn't want to pick me up."

"No, he'll be there. We're very excited to have you home this year. It's been too long since we were all together."

"I know. I can't wait to see everyone."

They talked for a few more minutes about the upcoming holiday and then Kate's mom said she needed to go. Kate promised to call her before her trip and they said goodbye. Kate sat on the couch for a long time thinking about how much she was going to tell her mother about Jethro. She knew her mother would be concerned about their age difference and his divorces. Those weren't issues for Kate but she understood her mother would worry. Kate wasn't worried about her relationship but she had to admit there seemed to be something bothering Jethro lately. Maybe he just wasn't a holiday person she told herself.

November ended quietly for Jethro and his team. No cases came in for several days at the end of the month and they were able to catch up on their paperwork. He even let them go home early a couple of times to do their Christmas shopping. They all knew from experience the slow days were few and far between so they took advantage of them when they could.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 12

Jethro and Kate spent the first weekend of December together at his house and neither of them mentioned Kate's Thanksgiving Day proclamation. They resumed their regular routine of spending as much time together as possible. She did say "love you" when she hung up the phone after talking to him or when she left the house in the mornings but that was as much as was said along those lines. Jethro was fine with that and Kate had resigned herself to accepting that she was indeed ahead of him in the emotions department. She wondered if that would always be the case.

The second week of December brought a serious cold spell to DC and an equally chilly turn to Jethro and Kate's relationship. Jethro and his team caught a particularly disturbing case that Tuesday afternoon and by Friday morning they had made little progress. The case involved a missing five year old boy whose mother, Susan Graham, had left him in the car asleep while she unloaded some groceries in their driveway. The car was stolen and was still missing even after an exhaustive search of the immediate area and finally the entire DC Metro area. Gibbs was frantic to find this child and return him safely to his parents. The boy's father, Cpl. Graham, was stationed at the Marine Barracks and had been questioned twice by Gibbs who was convinced after their second "interview" that the father had nothing to do with the disappearance.

Kate had not seen Jethro all week and she was worried about him. She knew the case was having a serious effect on him but she was helpless in the face of his determination to deal with all the ugliness on his own. She had sent him text messages of encouragement and reminded him that she loved him but he was ignoring her. Kate knew not to take his behavior personally but still it was difficult to be kept so completely on the outside.

At work, Jethro was beginning to show the strain of the fruitless search for the boy. On Friday afternoon he went back to the family's neighborhood and questioned all the neighbors again. He trusted DiNozzo and McGee had done a good job; he was merely doing the only thing he knew to do and that was to start over at the beginning. The pleading, frightened eyes of the parents kept him pushing even when he was exhausted and had no idea what to do next. As he was leaving the fifth house with no new information he saw a man passing out flyers to every house on the street. Gibbs hated getting those things stuck in his door but seeing the man on the street now gave him an idea. He stopped the young man as he crossed the street to the next section of homes.

Gibbs introduced himself and asked the young man, "Are you in the neighborhood often?"

"Couple of times a week usually."

"Were you out here on Tuesday afternoon?"

The young man paused and seemed to be considering his response.

"Yea, I was passing out something about house decorations. Why?"

"A car was stolen out of that driveway over there about four thirty. Dark blue Camry. Woman was taking groceries in and someone stole the car. You see that by any chance?"

Again the young man thought for a moment before he answered.

"Yea, I did see a guy in the area. He was wearing an old fatigue jacket. You know surplus store kind of thing. He was about your age I'd guess. A red cap. Come to think of it, he did get in a car over there. I wondered about it for a minute but then I just went on about my business."

"Could you describe him to a sketch artist? You see his face?"

"I think I could but it was getting dark by that time. I'd try. Why are you investigating a car theft so much?"

"There was a little boy asleep in that car. We haven't found it."

Jethro waited while the young man called to have someone finish his route and then he drove him to the Navy Yard so he could talk to Abby and get a sketch done. Leaving the neighborhood, Jethro said a silent prayer that this was the break they had been hoping for. The young man, Scott Fields, did the best he could and when Abby produced the finished product he said it did look like the man he'd seen. At least he thought it did. He really hoped he'd helped but he wasn't sure. Gibbs gave him some cab fare and sent him home with his thanks.

Abby ran the picture through facial recognition and miraculously got a hit. The man's name was Curt Wheeler and he had a criminal record as long as Abby's arm. His offenses included assault, car theft, burglary and several arrests for public intoxication. He was a career criminal but had never served time in the penitentiary. Jethro wondered what he had done when he discovered the little boy in the back of the car. Unfortunately he had obviously not pulled over and left the car wherever he was. At least they hadn't found it so far.

McGee put out a BOLO for the man and an alert that he was wanted in connection with the stolen car and the AMBER alert already in place for the boy. Gibbs and DiNozzo went to the last known address for Wheeler but he wasn't there and neighbors in the rundown apartment complex said he hadn't been there for several days. They searched his tiny apartment but found nothing that would indicate where he was now. Gibbs was frustrated and angry and not just a little bit afraid of what they would find when they tracked down Mr. Wheeler.

With nothing left to do but wait for someone to spot the car or the man, Gibbs sent DiNozzo and McGee home for the night.

"You comin' boss?"

"No, you two go on. I'll stay here for a while just in case."

"They'll call you at home boss."

"I know. Go on."

Reluctantly, Tony and Tim left Gibbs at his desk. They knew him well enough to understand this case was eating him alive. Every time a kid was involved it was hard on each of them but Gibbs took it so personally that he had the hardest time of any of them. Gibbs' cell phone rang a few minutes later but when he saw it was Kate calling he did what he had been doing all week; he let it go to voice mail. He knew she just wanted to know he was alright but he didn't want to talk to her because he wasn't alright and there wasn't anything she could do about that. He recognized that he was being unfair and hurtful to her but that didn't change anything. He just couldn't stand to be around anyone right now.

Jethro knew in his heart and soul that eventually he was going to deliver the news that would break the hearts of at least two people. The chances of finding little Lucas alive after all this time were very slim. He knew he could get in his car and go to Kate and she would take away his pain for a couple of hours but he didn't think he deserved even that brief respite. What kind of respite was available to Lucas' parents? They were suffering right now and Jethro was sure that in a day or two their suffering was going to multiply a hundredfold. He just didn't think he could bare to be with anyone and be loved right now. So, he slept at the Navy Yard and existed on coffee and Danish from the vending machine.

The call came early on Saturday morning. Some cops had spotted the car at an old motel in Baltimore. Jethro summoned Tony and Tim and the three of them headed up there. The officers had verified that Mr. Wheeler was in room twelve and the rooms on either side had been cleared. The motel manager told Jethro that Mr. Wheeler had been there only one night and he was alone. The fear Jethro had been carrying for days was turning to rage. He knew Lucas was gone and he wanted to burst into room twelve and kill Wheeler on the spot. But, if he did that they might never find the boy's body and he wanted to at least be able to give that small comfort to the boy's parents.

Jethro called the room and after considerable time Wheeler answered the phone.

"Mr. Wheeler, this is Special Agent Gibbs with NCIS. I need you to come out of the room with your hands on your head."

There was no response for a long time and finally the door opened but Wheeler did not come out.

"Wheeler, come out of the room with your hands up."

"I want to talk. You're going to shoot if I come out."

"No one is going to shoot you. Come out."

"You want the boy, you come in and talk to me."

Hope flared briefly in Jethro's soul. Maybe he took Lucas somewhere and left him alive. Maybe he could get him back.

"Okay, I'm coming in. Sit on the bed and keep your hands where I can see them."

"You leave your gun outside, Agent Gibbs. I'm not armed."

"Boss, this is nuts. You can't go in there unarmed."

"Tony, I can't not go in there if there is even the slightest chance to find Lucas. I'll be fine."

Jethro walked to the door of the room and pushed the door open slowly. He looked in and saw Wheeler sitting on the far bed with his hands on his head. Jethro told him to stand up and he quickly searched him and determined he was unarmed. Jethro left the door open.

"I'm going to open the curtains so my guys out there know we're okay."

"Fine."

Jethro pulled out the chair that was at the desk and sat down facing Wheeler. The man was filthy and looked like he hadn't slept in days. He clothes were old and in bad shape.

"Where's Lucas?"

"I didn't know he was in the car. I only wanted the car so I could get out of town. I didn't know there was a kid in there."

"I know that. Where is he?"

"He woke up and scared me. He was crying and I told him to be quiet and I'd let him out soon but he just kept crying and saying he wanted his mom."

Jethro's brief hope was gone.

"Where is he Mr. Wheeler?"

"I just wanted to get out of town for a while you know? Some guys was after me for some money I owed 'em and I needed to get away for a while. I didn't know the kid was in the car."

"Mr. Wheeler, I'm about to lose my patience with you. I know you didn't mean to take the boy. Maybe you didn't mean to hurt him but I need you to tell me where he is in the next fifteen seconds or I am going to arrest you and drag you out of here. It won't be pleasant for you if I have to do that. Now, where is the boy?"

"I'll have to show you. I buried him. I didn't mean to hurt him."

Jethro took a deep breath and tried to stay calm. He wanted so badly to reach out and choke the life out of this animal but somehow he didn't.

"What happened?"

"I had some pills. To help me sleep. I gave him some just to help him stop crying. I figured if he went to sleep I could drive all night and then put him out somewhere and the cops would find him. But I guess them pills was too strong for him. Or I gave him too many. He went to sleep but he didn't wake up."

Wheeler was crying now. Quietly sobbing and rocking back and forth on the bed. Jethro just sat looking at him for what seemed like a long time. At least the boy didn't suffer. Not physically at least. He was afraid but he wasn't hurt and that was some very small comfort.

Jethro stood up and pulled Wheeler to his feet. A part of him almost felt sorry for this man. But then Jethro thought about the Marine and his wife waiting back in Virginia and he didn't feel sorry for him anymore.

Several hours later Ducky and Palmer loaded Lucas' body into the NCIS van and they all headed back to the Navy Yard. All except Jethro. He was headed to the Graham's house in Burke.

As soon as Lt. Graham saw Jethro getting out of his car he knew his son was gone. Jethro spent almost two hours at the home. He tried to assure the grief stricken parents that Lucas had not suffered. Mrs. Graham was calm and tried to comfort her husband but he was inconsolable. She blamed herself and Jethro wondered how they would ever be okay again. He knew he had never been really and truly okay after losing Kelly. He told them he was sorry he hadn't found Lucas sooner. Mrs. Graham tried to tell him it wasn't his fault; that he had done all he could and he tried to believe her. In the end he knew his pain wasn't anywhere near what they were suffering and he knew he needed to leave them alone.

Sitting alone in the sanctuary of his basement, Jethro sipped his bourbon and cried for Lucas and his parents. He didn't want to work on the boat. He thought about calling Kate but he didn't want to put his pain on her. He just kept drinking until finally the bottle was empty and he had to make a decision; go upstairs for a new bottle or stay where he was and brood. He decided to go up for a new bottle and when he got to the kitchen he heard a car door close out front. He wondered if it was Kate or Ducky. He figured one of them had decided to check on him. He hoped it was Ducky. He knew he could convince Ducky to leave him alone tonight but Kate would be a more difficult challenge.

"Jethro?"

Kate.

He closed his eyes and sighed. A part of him was glad to hear her voice and know she was in his house but his protected side didn't want her to see him as he was now. But, short of really hurting her which he didn't want to do he was going to have to let her in. And probably not just into the kitchen either. He took a deep breath and answered her.

"In the kitchen."

Kate stopped in the doorway of the kitchen. Ducky had indeed called her and suggested she might want to check on Jethro. He had warned her that her lover was not in a good place and might very likely not want to see her. He hadn't told her how bad he looked. She took in his haggard look, his unshaven face and bloodshot eyes. He only glanced up briefly and then went back to staring at the floor. On the counter next to him was a new bottle of Jack Daniels. From the look of him, she figured it was a refill for a bottle he had already finished.

Jethro was holding onto the counter, leaning against it with his butt and still staring at the floor. Kate desperately wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him but she was wary of moving too quickly. Her heart ached for him. She knew the outcome of the case and she knew how much it had hurt Jethro that he hadn't found Lucas alive. Finally he looked up at her and held her gaze. She had never seen so much pain in those blue eyes she loved so much. She took a few steps toward him but stopped just short of touching him.

"I'm sorry Jethro."

"What're you doin' here Kate?

"I came to see you of course."

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. You don't sound fine."

"You can't fix this Kate."

"I know that. I have no intention of trying to fix anything. I came to see you because I know you're hurting and I love you."

"You don't want to be here tonight."

"Why not? Because you need to rage against what happened? Because you want to drink it away? Because I might see you hurting?"

"Because I'll hurt you."

"I can take care of myself. I'm not afraid of you Jethro or your anger or your pain. Unless you're planning on hitting me I'm not afraid of you."

"Of course I'm not planning to hit you! Dammit Kate!"

"Jethro, can you just accept that I care about you and want to be here for you?"

He was silent for a long time but he finally looked up at her.

"Yes. Ducky call you?'

"Yes. He asked me to check on you. I'll leave if you don't want me here."

Again, he didn't answer for a long time. She could almost see him working out in his mind what he was going to say to her. If he asked her to leave she would but it would be very hard for her to do that. And, it would signal to her that they were not nearly as close as she had hoped. Kate was nothing if not patient when it came to Jethro so she just stood watching him and waiting.

Jethro was caught in an emotional tug-of-war with himself. He wanted to take Kate in his arms and feel her love surrounding him. But his guarded, protected side told him if he did that now, tonight, he would get in too deep and then when she eventually left it would be that much harder. Finally he just couldn't say no any longer. He wanted her and he needed her and if that hurt him later then so be it.

With a voice full of emotion and barely loud enough for her to hear he finally answered.

"Don't go."

Kate closed the distance between them and Jethro let himself fall into her embrace. He buried his face in her hair and soaked in her scent and the feel of her arms holding him tightly. For the first time in over a week he felt like he could breathe freely. They stood like that for a long time just holding one another until Jethro pulled back enough to be able to kiss her. All the anxiety and sadness and rage he'd felt for the past few days slowly melted away as he tasted her and she returned his kiss hungrily. When they had to breathe, they broke the kiss but did not move apart more than the space needed for air to move between them. Kate didn't want to let him go and Jethro didn't want to lose contact with the only thing keeping him together at the moment.

Kate gently stroked his face with her fingertips and searched his eyes for something that would tell her what to do next. All she could see there was sadness and exhaustion. She kissed him softly on the mouth.

"When was the last time you ate? Or slept?"

"Don't know."

He hadn't let go of her and his voice was ragged with unspoken emotions.

"Will you eat if I fix you something?"

"Yes."

"Go up and take a hot shower and I'll pull something together."

"Okay."

Neither of them moved.

"I love you Jethro."

"I know."

Kate held his face in her hands and kissed him on the forehead.

"Go on, Jethro. Go take a long, hot shower and I'll come get you when the food's ready."

Kate stepped back and holding his hands pulled him toward the stairs. Before he started up he pulled her into a kiss that told her he needed more than a shower and a meal. She would be happy to oblige that need once the more mundane things had been taken care of.

While Jethro stood in the shower letting the hot water wash away the ugliness and stench of the past several days, Kate scrounged up the makings of a simple spaghetti sauce. Thank goodness she had spent enough time over here in the past few months to stock the cabinets or they would be having cereal for dinner. She had water on to boil for the pasta and the sauce was simmering on the stove when Ducky called.

"Kate are you at Jethro's?"

"Yes, he's up in the shower and I'm fixing some supper."

"How is he?"

"He's exhausted physically and emotionally. I haven't seen him in this state before but I imagine you have. Any advice?"

"Just be patient and love him. I know you can do both those things and that is what he needs. I'm glad he let you stay."

"Me too. Thanks for checking on us Ducky. I'll call if I need you."

"Goodnight my dear."

Kate heard the water shut off so she turned up the heat under the water and got out some plates and silverware. Jethro stepped out of the shower and looked at himself in the steamy mirror. He realized he looked pretty rough. He hadn't shaved today and he looked like he hadn't slept in days. Well, he realized he hadn't. He decided to forego the shaving and after drying off he stepped into the bedroom and pulled on some sweat pants and a tee shirt. He sat down on the bed and gave some thought to how he felt about Kate being downstairs. And spending the night.

One of the reasons he had been avoiding her in the last few days was he didn't want to subject her to his bad mood; his "the second 'B' is for bastard" side. But there was something else and he had just realized it in the shower. Whenever he had a case involving a young child he was reminded of Kelly. And when he was reminded of Kelly in that way it always led to nightmares. Drowning his exhaustion in the shower, he realized he had been reluctant to sleep with Kate this week because he was afraid he would have a nightmare and that would lead to questions he wasn't sure he was ready to answer. Maybe, he thought, he was tired enough tonight that he could sleep through. And maybe, having Kate in bed with him would keep the nightmares away. He wasn't willing to send her home tonight so he guessed he would just see what happened and then deal with it.

"Jethro, are you ready to eat?"

"Yes, coming."

They ate in a comfortable silence for the most part. Kate knew Jethro wasn't anywhere near ready to talk about the case and she wasn't going to try and fill the silence just for the sake of talking. Jethro ate like he hadn't had decent food in a week and that was probably more true than not. She hated to think how much coffee he had consumed since she saw him last.

Putting down his fork for the last time, Jethro sat back and sighed.

"That was delicious Kate. I'm surprised you found enough in this kitchen to cook."

"Thank you but I think you would have eaten just about anything tonight."

"Maybe but it was still delicious."

He reached over and covered her hand with his.

"I'm glad you're here Katie."

"Me too. Why don't you go relax and I'll clean this up."

"No, the cook does not clean up. You may stay and supervise or go relax on the couch but I'm cleaning up."

"How about I help and then we both go relax?"

"Okay."

So, they cleaned up the kitchen and then Jethro suggested they go for a walk.

"I know it's cold but it's been a while since I got any fresh air to speak of. Do you mind?"

"No, I'd love a walk."

They put on coats and hats and set out for a trip around the neighborhood. It was crisp clear night with no wind so even though it was cold they enjoyed themselves. As they turned the corner to start home Jethro broke his silence.

"We never had a chance to find him. The guy overdosed him that first night. It's hard to get past some of this stuff sometimes."

Kate didn't say anything for a while.

"Jethro, you will get past this. I know nothing can fix this hurt you have. Please don't feel like you have to protect me. I can hear whatever you need to say."

"I know. It was just such a freak thing and that mom is going to blame herself for a long time."

"I hope she has someone to confide in. What about the dad?"

"He's pretty messed up of course. The thing is he'll get deployed somewhere and the mother will be left here alone. I hope she's got some family to help her."

"I can't imagine how they'll cope."

"I know."

And he did know. That was what made these kinds of cases so hard for Jethro. He knew all about guilt and grief and not being able to forgive yourself for not protecting the one person in the world who depended on you for everything. He knew chances were these parents wouldn't survive this terrible thing together. He shuddered when he thought about it and felt Kate tighten her hold on his arm.

"You okay, Jethro?"

"Yeah, just getting cold I guess."

They returned to the house and Jethro lit the fire. Kate settled on the end of the couch and when Jethro came to join her she convinced him to lie down with his head on a pillow in her lap. She pulled the afghan from the back of the couch and covered him up. Kate ran her fingers through his hair and held her other hand over his heart. She knew he was practically dead on his feet and the walk in the cold night air had just about finished him off.

"You sure you want to stay down here instead of going up to bed?"

"Yes, I want to enjoy the fire. Are you okay here?"

"I'm going to be asleep in about ten seconds."

"Good. Just let go and relax. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Go to sleep. I love you."

He didn't reply and Kate knew he was out. She continued to stroke his hair and leaned down to kiss him on the temple. She watched the fire for a while but pretty soon she was resting her head on the back cushion and falling fast asleep.

Almost two hours later Kate woke with a start when Jethro started mumbling and moving restlessly in her lap. She couldn't make any sense of what he was saying but she was sure he was having a nightmare. She reached for his hand and called his name in an effort to awaken him.

He was becoming more agitated and finally he called out the name Kelly. She had no idea who that was but the pain in his voice when he said her name told Kate she was someone important to Jethro. Kate shook him again and called his name.

"Jethro, wake up."

Finally, Jethro came awake and sat up. He scrubbed his hands over his face and looked over at Kate who was studying him closely.

"You were having a nightmare I think. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It happens sometimes when I'm as tired as I was. Did I hurt you?"

"No. You sure you're alright?'

"Yeah, come on let's go upstairs to bed."

"Good idea."

Kate decided now was not the time to ask who Kelly was. That could wait. Jethro locked the front door and turned off the lights before following Kate up the stairs. When they got to the bedroom he wasn't tired anymore. They slowly undressed each other and Jethro pulled her onto the bed with him. They took their time, touching and kissing and whispering to each other until finally they couldn't wait any longer. Jethro had thought earlier he would be frantic and in a hurry when he got her in bed but now he wanted to go slowly and make this time last as long as possible. Kate seemed to understand-as usual-and she was in perfect sync with him. Their lovemaking was slow and sensual and reminded Jethro just how lucky he was to have Kate in his life.

When they woke up on Sunday morning it was almost eight o'clock. Jethro couldn't remember the last time he had slept that late. He was on his back and Kate was on her side wedged against him. He rolled over and pulled her back against his chest and kissed her shoulder. They were both still naked and Jethro decided to take advantage of that little fact. His hand began to roam and his mouth followed. Before too long Kate was on her back and Jethro was kissing her and letting her know he was glad she was awake.

"What a delightful way to wake up. Good morning Jethro."

"Good morning to you."

That was the last of the conversation for a while. Jethro asked a few questions in the next while and Kate made some exclamations but all the real communication was non-verbal. Just the way they liked it.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Thanks for all the reviews, comments, follows and favorites. It means a lot that so many of you are enjoying this story.

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 13

The couple spent most of Sunday lazing around Jethro's house. It was too cold to enjoy being outside and even though Kate had lots of shopping left to do she didn't much want to leave Jethro home alone. He was very quiet most of the day which was not unusual but she knew he was still thinking about the case. They worked on the boat for a while but even that didn't hold Jethro's attention. Kate decided to make cookies so she left him in the basement and went upstairs. As much as he enjoyed Kate being in the house, Jethro really wanted some alone time. He knew she was trying to help and she had, but he needed to think and process and he needed to be alone to do that. So, he stayed in the basement even when the smell of freshly baked cookies began to waft down the stairs.

Kate had the kitchen cleaned up and was about to take some cookies down to the basement when Jethro came up the stairs.

"I was just going to bring you some cookies."

"Thanks. They smell delicious. I hope you're taking some home with you. I can't eat all those myself."

"Of course you could. But don't worry, I'm taking half. You take some to work. I'm sure DiNozzo will help you eat them."

"Yes, he will."

"Thanks for being here last night and today. I appreciate it, Katie."

Jethro took her in his arms and gave her a toe-curling kiss.

"You are very welcome but you don't have to thank me Jethro. You know I want to be here for you anytime you need me."

"I know."

Jethro held onto her and just enjoyed the feel of her against him. He wouldn't admit to anyone, including himself, but he was in love with this beautiful, loving, strong woman. He fought against it all the time but in moments like this he knew it was true.

Kate reluctantly stepped back and put her hands on Jethro's chest.

"I need to get home and do some stuff for work. I have a big presentation tomorrow and I need to finish some details before I can give it. I hate to go but I really need to be home."

"I understand. I probably need a little more down time anyway. You really helped me Katie. Thank you for being here."

"Night babe. Remember, I love you."

"I won't forget. Night, Katie."

Jethro walked her out to her car and kissed her goodnight. Then he went back to the basement and spent a few hours with his boat. He felt a hundred times better than he had just twenty-four hours ago and he knew he had Kate to thank for that. What he didn't know was how he was going to manage without her the next time something really bad happened. He knew in his heart though that he'd eventually have to figure that out.

The next few weeks went by quickly as both Kate and Jethro were busy at work. They managed to spend a few evenings and nights together but work kept them pretty tied up. Kate was leaving on Wednesday the twenty-second to spend Christmas with her family and Jethro was leaving on Christmas Eve to spend a few days with his father in Pennsylvania. The night before Kate was to leave they had dinner at his house. They had talked about exchanging gifts but Kate wanted them to give a donation to a military charity instead. When Jethro asked her if she was sure she said yes, she had everything she needed and she wanted to do something important this year. Jethro heartily agreed so they both made sizable donations to the Wounded Warrior Project. Of course they also had a small present for each other even though they had promised not to do it.

After they ate Kate's homemade chili and the dishes were all done and put away they went to sit in front of the fire. Jethro broke the rules first by giving Kate a small, flat package he had hidden in the couch cushions. It was wrapped in beautiful paper and tied with a silk ribbon .

"Jethro, you promised."

"So did you!"

"What are you talking about?"

"That package you put in the drawer of the hall chest. That's what I'm taking about."

"I can't believe you saw that! Sometimes you scare me Jethro."

"Good. Now open it."

Kate carefully untied the ribbon and wound it around her hand. Then she very carefully undid the paper without tearing it. She had a thing about wrapping paper.

"For god's sake Kate open the package! You planning to reuse that paper?"

"Maybe. It's beautiful paper."

"Guess I could have just given you some wrapping paper."

"Yes you could have but now that you didn't I'm keeping the paper and the present."

Kate finally opened the box to find a wonderful, silk scarf in various shades of gray and black. It would go beautifully with her winter coat.

"Oh, Jethro it's beautiful. I love it. Thank you!"

She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a proper thank you kiss. Then she went to the small chest in the hallway and retrieved his gift. It too was wrapped in lovely paper and tied with a silk ribbon.

"Do you want to do the honors so I don't tear it all up?"

That earned him a punch in the arm and a smirk that rivaled his own.

"No, I do not. It's your gift you may destroy the paper if you wish."

And he did. He tore off the ribbon and the paper and opened the box in a matter of seconds. Inside was a pair of butter soft leather gloves. Jethro slipped one on and smiled at her with genuine pleasure.

"These are fantastic Kate! Thank you. I love them."

"Good. I know you don't often wear gloves but I thought these were so soft and warm and I wanted you to have them."

"I'll wear these for sure."

Twenty minutes later the couple was about to take their kissing and touching to the next level when Kate's phone rang. With considerable effort she extracted herself from Jethro's grasp and dug her phone out of her purse. It was her mother.

"I need to talk to her. Hopefully won't be long."

Jethro just smirked at her and headed for the basement. Lately, with all the holiday planning, Kate's calls with her mother had been lengthy and involved. Jethro knew he had at least half an hour to work on the boat before Kate came to get him. Kate had been hinting at some problems with her parents about her life choices and he hoped he wasn't the topic of those discussions although he didn't see how he could be excluded since he was apparently one of the choices her father wasn't too happy about. He understood Mr. Todd's feelings very well and had to admit he wouldn't be thrilled with him as a partner for his daughter either. In all honesty Jethro expected this visit home to be difficult for Kate and probably not the fun-filled trip she was hoping for.

When Kate finally descended the basement stairs forty-five minutes later he knew the conversation with her mom hadn't gone all that well.

"Want to tell me about it?" he asked as he put down his sander and leaned against the workbench.

"Not really."

Jethro waited. He knew she wasn't going to be able contain herself for long; she never could when she was upset. He was counting in his head and when he reached twenty-seven Kate started speaking.

"She just makes me crazy sometimes. She wants to talk about Christmas which is fine of course. I want to talk about it too. You know where everyone is going to stay, who needs a rental car, who needs a hotel room, all that stuff. We've been talking about this for weeks and my brothers and I have this all sorted out already. Then she wants to talk about food and the tree and my father decorating and getting on the roof. Stuff I can't do anything about."

When she stopped to take a breath, Jethro said, "She's just excited to have you all there together. Don't let her stress you out."

"Oh that's not what stresses me out! It's when she starts in on, why am I not bringing you home? Am I afraid for them to meet you? All that crap."

Jethro closed his eyes and tried not to get angry at people he didn't even know.

"What do you say to all that?"

Kate was pacing around and around the boat almost making Jethro dizzy. He stopped her when her circuit took her past him.

"Finish it Katie."

"I tell her you're going to your father's for Christmas and of course I'm not afraid for them to meet you. I tell her we have only been together for a few months and for her not to get ahead of herself. Then she starts talking about the clock ticking and how I'm not getting any younger and all that stuff. I hate it when she does that!"

"I hate to say it but she's right about that part."

Jethro dodged her swing at him and caught her in a bear hug.

"How dare you say that to me Jethro!"

"Katie, you have to face the fact that I am considerably older than you. I am almost closer to your father's age than yours. Of course your parents are going to be concerned about that. I don't blame them."

Kate pulled away from him and stormed off around the boat again.

"Well I don't care about all that and you know it!"

Very quietly, Jethro said, "Maybe you should."

Kate froze on the other side of the basement and looked at him through the ribs of the boat with shock on her face.

"What did you say?"

Jethro spread his hands in a calming motion. He fixed her with his most serious look and began a speech he had rehearsed in his mind for months. A speech he didn't mean to give tonight but one whose time seemed to have come anyway.

"I said maybe you should care about my age and my track record."

Kate started to reply and Jethro held up his hand to silence her.

"Please let me say this Katie. You are a young, beautiful woman and you deserve to have all the good things life can offer you. You deserve to have a husband, a family, all the kids you want, everything. If you are completely honest with yourself you will see I am not the man who can give that to you. I want you to be happy and I know you say you're happy with us now. But what about in a year or even another six months? Is what we have all you want? I don't think so. I think I know you well enough to know you want it all; the husband, the kids, the dog, the whole dream. You want and you deserve to have the happily ever after that you've always dreamed of having. I can't give that to you Kate. I don't even know if I believe in it. I've sure never seen it happen. Kate, I could go on with you just as we are for a long time but that's not what you want. I didn't mean to have this talk tonight but there it is."

Kate was so stunned by what Jethro had said she felt like she might need to sit down. She had never heard him say so much at one time and certainly never had he talked to her about them in this way. She barely realized she had tears streaming down her face and she was finding it hard to breathe. She stared at Jethro and tried to make sense of what he was telling her. In her mind she knew he was telling her what he saw as the truth but in her heart all she heard was goodbye. She wanted to run away but she was frozen in place just staring at the man she loved who, she was pretty sure, had just broken up with her.

Jethro stepped toward her but she backed away and held up her hands so he stopped.

"Katie, I didn't mean to make you cry."

Even as he said it he realized how stupid that sounded.

"Jethro, I don't even know what to say. I'm not sure what exactly you're telling me. This is completely out of the blue. Where in the hell is this coming from? An hour ago we were perfectly happy and now you're telling me we shouldn't even be together? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm just trying to be realistic about what our future will be."

"Realistic? Is that what you call it. Are you saying you don't want to see me anymore?"

"Katie, I'm too selfish to say that. But I want you to give serious, clear-headed thought to what I said."

"How long have you felt this way, Jethro?"

He took a long time to answer and when he did he couldn't look at her.

"Always."

"You bastard! You've never wanted us to work! You've had your fun and now you're ready to move on, it that it?"

Jethro was surprised by that reaction but knew he shouldn't be. He'd hurt her and she was letting him have a taste of her very strong temper and self protective instincts.

"No, that is absolutely not it! I tried not to let things get serious but I just couldn't control everything. I didn't mean for you to get in so deep."

"In so deep! Is that what you call it? I love you dammit! No wonder you never said that to me; you were waiting for a way out. Well, now you have one."

With that Kate stalked to the stairs and started up. When she was halfway up she turned around and looked at Jethro who was still standing looking at the floor. He didn't look like he was going to try and stop her.

"I don't really understand what just happened here, Jethro but maybe I'm not the only one who needs to do some serious thinking. Goodbye."

When she got to the top of the stairs Kate stopped for a second to collect herself. She was not going to cry anymore; at least not here. When she got home, well that would be a different story. She was torn between being angry and being hurt. In truth, what Jethro had said was such a surprise she didn't really know what to feel. She wanted to hit him and kiss him at the same time. She had never known him to be intentionally hurtful and she knew in her heart he really believed what he'd said. That didn't really make her feel any better. She decided, standing in Jethro's kitchen, that she was going to ignore him for the time being and when she got back from her trip home she would deal with it.

Jethro finally went up the stairs after Kate. He knew she hadn't left yet and he wanted to. . . Hell, he didn't know what he wanted to do but he couldn't just let her walk out without saying something. She was putting her coat on when he walked into the living room.

"Katie, I'm sorry."

She whirled around and looked at him with such fierceness he wasn't sure what she might do.

"What are you sorry for exactly? For that first dinner at the Tavern? For fixing my faucet? For all the times we had sex? Or are you sorry for letting me love you when you knew all along you were going to end it? Tell me, Jethro!"

"I'm not sorry for any of that. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I can't be the man you want or need or deserve. I'm sorry I don't know how to make you understand."

"I think I understand perfectly. We've had a good few months. I got a deck out of the deal, you got some nice gloves and we both had some really great sex. Maybe we should just leave it at that. Merry Christmas Jethro. I need to go."

Jethro couldn't believe that in the space of less than two hours his whole world had blown up. He had never intended for this to happen and certainly not tonight. He didn't want Kate to go but he knew he shouldn't try to stop her. And if he did what good would that do? They weren't going to kiss and make up tonight. He had told Kate the truth as he saw it and now they had to live with it. In his mind this was inevitable but he just wasn't ready to lose her.

Kate moved to the door and Jethro saw the scarf he had given her lying on the couch. He picked it up and before she walked out the door he grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Jethro, please let me go."

"I just wanted you to take this. Katie, I never wanted us to end this way. I don't know what to say to you."

"I think you've said more than enough tonight. Thank you for the scarf. Now, I really need to go. Goodbye, Jethro."

She turned and walked to her car and it took everything she had in her not to look back. She couldn't believe the night had ended like this. If only she hadn't brought up what her mother had said, none of this would have happened. She was on the verge of tears as she backed out of the driveway. As she pulled away she saw Jethro still standing on the porch. She knew with everything she had that he loved her. She knew he was afraid of that but she didn't know why. Now, maybe she never would.

Kate drove home and when she got there she finally gave into her heart and sat on the couch crying for half an hour. A part of her refused to believe that Jethro would just end their relationship as he seemed to have done earlier. She had believed for the past month that Jethro was falling in love and if she was patient long enough he would admit his true feelings for her. Again, she refused to allow herself to believe his true feelings were those he had communicated to her tonight in the basement. When she stopped crying and tried to think rationally she had to admit that Jethro had been very clear and calm about what he was saying. He had obviously given his little speech a lot of thought. That depressed her so she stopped thinking about it. She poured herself a glass of wine and went to soak in a bubble bath. That usually helped whatever was wrong but Kate had to admit nothing had ever been quite this wrong before.

While Kate was at home crying and then soaking in the tub, Jethro went back to the basement and attacked the boat with a vengeance. He could normally block out everything once he concentrated on sanding but tonight it wasn't working. He couldn't get the look on Kate's face when she left out of his mind. He had hurt her he knew and rationalizing it by saying it was bound to happen sooner or later didn't make him feel any less like a heel. He didn't really know why he had chosen tonight to give his little speech. He hadn't planned it and in fact he had hoped to never have to give it. He had always thought that Kate would be the one to break up with him not the other way around. Now that it was done though he told himself to let her go and move on. He wanted her to do that and he believed in his heart that she would.

What Jethro also knew but wouldn't admit was that he was already miserable. When he finally left the basement at two o'clock in the morning he found he couldn't bear to sleep in his bed. Instead he brought his pillow and a blanket back downstairs and slept on the couch. That was only marginally better since he had plenty of vivid memories of being with Kate on the couch. He could still see her there every time he closed his eyes so he stayed awake another two hours staring at whatever appeared on the television. He finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion and was rudely awakened by his phone at seven thirty.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Boss, we got a body."

Jethro came awake and wrote down the address DiNozzo gave him.

"Meet you there."

Jethro took a very quick shower, dressed and left the house. It was bitterly cold; the weather matching his mood. By the time he got to the crime scene he'd had his first cup of coffee but he was still groggy and dragging.

"You okay Boss?"

"Whatcha got DiNozzo?"

Tony went over the few pieces of information he and McGee had gathered. The body had been discovered by a diner owner when he arrived to open up at four thirty. It appeared the dead sailor had been shot and left in the alley. There was no sign of a struggle in the area and no shell casing had yet been found. Local police had been first on the scene and then called NCIS when they saw the deceased was a sailor. Ducky arrived and told them he estimated the young man had been dead approximately four or five hours.

As McGee helped Jimmy Palmer load the body on the gurney and into the van, Ducky looked at Jethro and wondered what sort of night he'd had. He looked awful.

"Are you feeling alright, Jethro? You look a bit out of sorts."

"I feel fine."

"Then what's the matter?"

"Let's focus on the dead sailor okay? I'd like to get this wrapped up as soon as we can so we can all be gone end of the week as planned."

Ducky agreed and headed off to the van knowing he would have to find a better time to question his friend. He knew Jethro better than anyone else and he could tell something was bothering him. Ducky feared it had something to do with Kate; nothing else really explained it because besides his work, Ducky knew the only thing Jethro cared about was Kate.

Kate had gotten herself together after her bubble bath. She packed for her trip and by sheer force of will put Jethro out of her mind. She was going to enjoy Christmas with her family and nothing was going to spoil that for her. Not even Jethro. She had an early afternoon flight but was ready by nine o'clock. All morning she had been rehearsing something she wanted to say to Jethro before she left town. She wasn't going to obsess over him but she wanted to have the last word so to speak. She called a cab at ten o'clock and had him drive her to the Navy Yard. She had called ahead to make sure Jethro was there. She used the excuse of telling Abby Merry Christmas and asked if the team was working. Abby said they had been called out early and had been back for a couple of hours. Kate wished her a happy holiday and hung up.

When she arrived at the Navy Yard she went to reception and asked that Agent Gibbs be called. She didn't want to confront him in front of anyone so she told the woman at the desk that she needed to see him about a private matter of extreme urgency. The woman gave her a small smile and called for Gibbs. Jethro answered his desk phone with his usual gruff voice.

"Agent Gibbs you have a visitor at the front desk."

"Who is it, Barbara?"

"According to her credentials her name is Agent Kate Todd with the Secret Service."

"You can send her up."

"She is requesting that you come down here. Pretty sure she isn't going to meet you up there, Gibbs. Maybe you better bring your coat."

Barbara had been manning the front desk at the Navy Yard for as long as Gibbs could remember and he liked her very much. She looked after Gibbs as much as anyone could and worried about him like a mother hen.

"Okay, Barbara. Tell her I'll be right there."

Gibbs stood nervously in the elevator on the way to the main entrance level. He didn't know if he should be happy or afraid. Part of him wanted to erase everything that happened the previous night and start the evening over and part of him wanted to fast forward six months to when he thought he might feel better. He knew Kate was flying out today and he hoped nothing was wrong. He stepped out of the elevator and saw Kate standing by the front doors. He walked over to her.

"Kate."

"Hello Jethro. Are you in the middle of something?"

Her eyes looked tired and sad and Jethro wanted to take her in his arms and tell her he was sorry. He didn't. He did reach out to run his hand down her arm. She didn't pull away but she wanted to.

"Nothing that can't wait. Are you okay?"

"I've been better. Let's step outside. I have something to say to you before I leave and I'd rather not say it in public."

"Sure. Let's go to the courtyard."

Jethro followed Kate out the side door with his hand on the small of her back. He missed the way she would normally lean back into him when he did that. She found a bench in a sunny spot and sat down. Jethro sat beside her and fought the urge to take her hand.

"I have done a lot of thinking since last night, Jethro. I want you to know that I will give what you said some serious thought. While I'm doing that I want you to think about something too. Think about how good we are together. Think about what we could have together. Forget our ages and your marriages. Think about how you feel when you're with me. Think about how you feel inside when I look you in the eyes and tell you I love you. Forget that we've only been together for a few months. Think about what we've shared in that time. Nothing you said last night makes me stop loving you.

I have tried and tried to understand why you don't think we can make it together and I can't figure it out. I have a theory though and I want you to think about it while I'm gone. Jethro I believe with all my heart that you love me. If you don't then I don't think I will ever recognize love when I see it. From the way you look at me to the way you touch me to the way you make love to me you have shown me nothing but love for the last few months. I don't think I could be so spectacularly wrong about this. I also think you are afraid of that love for some reason. I don't know what that reason is but I know it's there. Please think about that. When I get back from my trip I'd like to see you. If you can look me in the eyes then and tell me you don't love me and don't want to see me again I will accept that and walk away. But if you can't do that then I expect you to give us another chance. Will you do all that? For me. For us."

"Kate, I don't know what to say."

"It's a yes or no question, Jethro. Will you meet me when I get back? Yes or no."

"Yes, of course I will."

"Will you think about what I've said? Really think about us and all the rest?"

"Yes."

"That's all I can ask. I have a cab waiting so I need to go. Jethro, I love you. Not some fantasy person I've created, not someone else. You. With all your faults and all your flaws, I love you. If you decide you won't love me then I'll go and leave you alone. But, Jethro, please don't ask me to do that unless you are absolutely sure you can't ever love me."

Jethro started to speak but Kate covered his mouth with her hand.

"Don't say anything. Bye, Jethro. I'll call you when I get back."

With that she got up and walked away. She didn't look back and she never faltered on her way to the front gate. Jethro wasn't surprised she'd figured him out because he had known for a while that she could read him like a book. He sat in the cold for a long time wondering what in the hell he was going to do now.

Kate felt very much at peace as she relaxed on the plane on the way to Indiana and her family. She was excited about seeing her parents and her brothers and their wives. Deep down Kate believed she and Jethro would work things out. She was not going to give up.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 14

Jethro worked mostly on autopilot for the next two days and was very glad to get on the road to his dad's on Christmas Eve. Traffic was horrible but he didn't even care. He was so glad to get out of DC and have some time alone that he didn't mind the slow going. When he got to Stillwater, Jack was waiting with a pot of his special chili and a glass of bourbon. Jethro had never been so glad to be home. His father took one look at him and knew his only child was unhappy; again.

The time with her family went all too quickly and before Kate knew it she had only two days left. Her mother had asked briefly about Jethro but Kate had brushed it off. She thought she had her mom fooled but the look in her eyes gave her away. No one mentioned Jethro after that and Kate was glad. As she lay in bed two days before she was to fly home Kate thought about what Jethro had said to her that night in his basement and about what her mother had been telling her for weeks. She thought about her two brothers whose wives were pregnant. And about her youngest brother now engaged to be married. Soon she would be the only one of the Todd children still single. She never thought she'd be the last to be married. Kate had always planned to get a job, fall in love with a wonderful man, get married and raise a family. Now she had to admit that dream seemed a long way from coming true. She had the first half done but those last two parts were slipping away.

The next morning Kate and her mother were alone in the kitchen. The boys and their wives had left the previous afternoon and Kate's father and youngest brother were on their way to the airport for Sean's flight home. Kate had been watching the weather channel and it looked like she would be lucky to get out the day after tomorrow if the snow came in like it was forecast to do.

"Do you want to talk about it now that we're here alone?"

Kate's mom had sat down with a fresh cup of coffee and fixed her gaze on her very unhappy daughter.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about that sad face you've had since you got here. Oh, I don't think anyone else noticed but I sure have. And, you haven't called Jethro once since you've been here. What's going on Katie?"

Kate was actually relieved her mom had started this conversation.

"I never could get anything past you could I?"

"Not since you were about two years old. It is Jethro isn't it? What's he done?"

Kate took a deep breath and launched into what had happened that night in the basement. She didn't want to tell the part about their phone conversation starting the whole thing but there wasn't any other way to get to what Jethro had said. When her mom started to apologize Kate quickly cut her off.

"I think he was looking for a reason to have his say. If I hadn't said what I did he would have found some other way to bring it up."

They were quiet for a while and then Mrs. Todd asked the question Kate had been asking herself for days.

"Do you think he loves you?"

"Yes, I do but he's afraid of something. I can't imagine what because this is the most capable, most courageous man I've ever known."

"Katie, I know you don't want to hear this but listen to me all the way through. Maybe Jethro is right. After all he knows himself and he knows why his marriages failed. Three failed marriages is a warning sign and you know it. I think it's very possible he does love you and he doesn't want to hurt you by marrying you when he knows he can't make it work. He has to know you want children. Maybe he can't give you children. Maybe he doesn't want children. There are a lot of reasons Jethro may be pulling back from you."

Kate thought about what her mom said about children. Yes, she wanted children and she was sure Jethro knew that. He was wonderful with kids but he didn't have any despite being married three times. Maybe there was something about children that was a problem. Kate hated to admit it but what her mother said made sense. Jethro was the common denominator in three failed marriages and Kate had to accept that. She knew nothing about the ex-wives and nothing about the circumstances of the marriages or the divorces. They had never talked about those things. Now Kate realized maybe they should have.

"I hear what you're saying mom and you're right, Jethro knows himself and what he's capable of but I just have a feeling he's keeping something from me. Something that's keeping him from letting himself love me. Maybe I'm just too stubborn to admit I fell in love with the wrong man."

"Well you are stubborn but you're not foolish so I have faith that you will figure this out in time and make the right decisions."

Jethro's father didn't wait as long at Kate's mother had to ask his only child what was wrong with him. Christmas afternoon as the two men sat enjoying a fire in the fireplace as snow piled up outside, Jack decided he couldn't wait any longer to find out why his son was so unhappy.

"Son, you've been awful quiet since you got here even for you. Tell me what's got you bothered and don't insult me by saying you're fine."

"What would you guess is the problem Dad?"

"Well, you haven't mentioned Kate since you got here and I don't think you've called to wish her a Merry Christmas so I'd guess the two of you are having problems."

"Right on the first try."

"You're not the only one who can read people you know. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

Jethro got up and stirred the fire and added a log. Then he stood at the window and watched the snow fall for a few minutes. Jack was a patient man and he knew Jethro often needed time to collect his thoughts before he spoke. He was like his mother in that way. She had been quiet but when she spoke people listened and took note of what she said. Jethro might favor his dad in physical appearance but his temperament was much more like his mother's.

Jethro finally settled back in a chair across from his father, in front of the fireplace and told him what had transpired with Kate before she left on her trip. He told Jack exactly what he'd said and what Kate had said to him at the Navy Yard. Jack never interrupted. Jethro spoke quietly and there was emotion in his voice that Jack had not heard in years when he talked about Kate. From what Jethro had said over the past few months, Jack had gathered this woman was special to his son and now, watching his face and listening to him, Jack knew this Kate was very special and losing her was going to be a serious blow for Jethro.

When Jethro was finally finished he sat back and closed his eyes. He knew his dad would have at least one question and he just waited for it to come. Jack didn't disappoint him.

"You haven't told her about Shannon and Kelly have you?"

"No."

"Maybe you should and see what happens. You didn't tell Diane or Stephanie or what's-her-name and those didn't turn out so well."

"Don't think that was the reason those didn't work."

"You have to admit though that it didn't help when they found out later. Why not do something different this time?"

When Jethro didn't answer his father continued.

"Look son, Kate is special. I can tell by the way you talk about her. You never talked about any of your wives or girlfriends to me and you have told me lots about Kate. Can you at least admit just to me-and yourself-that you love this woman?"

Jethro stared into the fire for a long time before he finally met his father's gaze.

"Yes, I love her."

"Good. Now all you have to do is figure how to get your big foot out of your mouth. And, tell her about your family."

"Not sure I can do that. Dad, I honestly don't know if I have what it takes to keep a marriage together. Much less raise a child now."

"Baloney. You didn't have a clue about life or marriage or kids when you and Shannon got married and you did just fine there. You were a wonderful father Leroy and if you had a second chance you would be again. You've made some mistakes with women that's for sure but I doubt you ever loved any of those other three like you do Kate. Am I right?"

"Yeah."

"Don't sell yourself short, son. You're a good man and Kate will be lucky to have you."

"Thanks dad. I wish I had your confidence in the situation."

Jethro spent three more days with his dad before heading back to DC and work. He thought about calling Kate and even reached for the phone a couple of times but something stopped him. Even though he had admitted out loud that he loved Kate he wasn't convinced that was enough. The only other woman he'd ever loved was Shannon and that was a lifetime ago. He didn't feel the same things for Kate that he had for his first wife but then he wasn't nineteen anymore either. He liked to think his ability to love someone had matured along with the rest of him. He had mentioned some of that line of thinking to his dad during their last evening together.

"You know dad, I'm not really sure I even know what love feels like anymore. It's been so damned long since I fell in love with Shannon that maybe I don't even recognize what love is."

"I doubt that's true. Leroy, you've been with plenty of women over the years I'm sure. This one has you all twisted up and the questions you're asking yourself tell me you know exactly what's happened to you. But just for the sake of argument, tell me what you like about Kate. What makes her special?"

Jethro sipped his bourbon and gazed into the fire for a while. When he looked over at his father he saw his own clear, blue eyes looking back at him. The smirk he thought was his own was staring him right in the face.

"Well, the first thing that got me was that she wasn't afraid to stand up to me. Then she threatened to shoot me."

"That was on Air Force One right?"

"Yeah. I think I was hooked that very first day but I didn't know it until much later. There are the obvious things like she's beautiful and smart and tough. She's also easy to be with because she appreciates silence; she isn't always talking just to hear herself talk. And she doesn't ask questions when she knows I don't want to answer them. She reads me like a book most of the time. She makes me laugh and she lets me be alone when I need that."

Jethro stopped and took a drink. He was getting lost in thoughts of Kate and barely knew his father was in the room. When he started again Jack sat forward in order to be able to hear his son who was speaking more to the fire than to him.

"I like the way she fits against me when we're sitting together. I like the way her hand feels in mine. And the way her hair smells. I like watching her when she doesn't know I'm there. She sticks her tongue out just a little bit when she concentrates. I like the feel of her. I like the way she listens when I talk and the way she looks at me when I talk to her. I like the way she makes me feel when she's all wrapped up with me. She's a great kisser and a wonderful lover."

Jack sat back as Jethro finished talking and quickly downed his drink. He waited a while for Jethro to gather himself and then he asked another question.

"Tell me what you don't like about her."

Jethro reached for the bottle on the table between them and refilled their glasses. They were using heavy crystal tumblers and he had to admit the bourbon tasted better than it did from a Mason jar. He ran his hand through his hair and gave his dad's question some serious thought.

"Hell, Dad, I can't think of anything I don't like. I mean I wish she wasn't so young but that sounds pretty stupid and it's not something I don't like. She snores sometimes."

They both laughed.

"Well it sounds to me like you're pretty well whipped my boy. Best thing for you to do is go home, call her and tell her you must have been crazy last week and now you're better. Don't let this one get away Leroy. Trust me, you're in love."

Jethro headed home feeing much better than he had when he arrived in Stillwater. He was almost ready to tell Kate about Shannon and Kelly and try to work things out with her. He had spent considerable time thinking about the things she had said to him just before she left. When he thought about how it felt to have her in his arms; in his bed, he knew he wanted that again. He didn't want to lose her but he was still not convinced he was the best man for her to spend her life with. He wanted to be but when he was thinking objectively he couldn't see it. On the drive back home he worked on not being so damned objective.

Jethro got back to work just in time to head off to Norfolk on a murder case that for some reason the agent there couldn't' handle. Two days after they got there he and DiNozzo were on a helicopter flying out to catch the USS Ronald Reagan on maneuvers in the Atlantic. The year ended badly and didn't start out much better.

Kate was stranded at the airport in Chicago for a day and a half because of a snow storm. She hated flying. Her time on the Presidential Protection Detail and flying on Air Force One had definitely spoiled her and now she hated commercial air travel. She finally got home on the morning of the thirtieth and slept for almost the entire day.

Kate had of course, spent most of her time while stranded at the airport thinking about Jethro. She almost called him twice but knew she didn't want to talk on the phone about the things they needed to say. She wasn't sure she wanted to have just a general conversation with him so she put her phone away and went back to her book both times. She was still determined to find out what he was hiding from her but she was also beginning to accept that they might not work out. She did want to get married and have kids and that didn't seem to be on Jethro's radar at all. Of course they had never talked about those things and they had only been together for about eight months but still, Kate was sure of her feelings and equally unsure of Jethro's.

As the new year began the couple had still not talked. Life in general and their jobs in particular, combined with their own stubborn natures seemed to be conspiring to keep them apart. Kate was out of town much of the first two weeks in January and didn't have time to call Jethro. Besides, she still didn't want to talk to him on the phone and she had no idea when she would be back in DC to meet him.

Jethro was on an aircraft carrier for almost two weeks before finally getting back to Norfolk and eventually DC. He was tired all the time and his mood seemed to darken with the winter weather. Spending two weeks in cramped quarters with DiNozzo had just about driven him crazy. Of course he wondered about Kate but hadn't really had the time or energy to give their situation any serious consideration.

DC was in the grip of serious winter weather by the time February rolled around. Still no word from Kate and Jethro was beginning to think she had decided to take his advice and move on. Unfortunately, or not, depending on your point of view, he was too busy chasing bad guys to give much thought to his personal life. Any time he had at home was spent with the boat and as the weeks went by he was slowly but surely adjusting back to his closed off, singular lifestyle.

Kate was slammed at work and by the time she got home at night she was too exhausted to do much except eat and fall into bed. She loved her work and being busy seemed to be just what she needed right now. The weather was bitterly cold and even though she thought about nights by the fire with Jethro she didn't call him. If you had asked her she wouldn't have had any sort of reasonable explanation for her hesitancy to call. She picked up the phone plenty of times but every time she put it right back down before she finished punching in Jethro's number. Maybe it was being so tired all the time that made her feel she didn't have the energy to fight with him and do all the heavy lifting in their relationship. Or maybe, not hearing him say no let her hold onto a tiny thread of hope. She liked to think that was it; she was holding on and maybe if she held on long enough, Jethro would call her and say he was sorry and he had been wrong. And maybe pigs would fly over the capitol tomorrow.

Whether by design or simple neglect the relationship Kate and Jethro had managed to build over the spring and summer stumbled in the fall and fell down during the long, cold DC winter. Neither one called the other and friends who brought the subject up with either of them were silenced with either Kate's polite refusal to discuss it or Jethro's withering glare. Even Ducky was unable to elicit so much as a comment from Jethro as to what happened. Abby tried to weasel some information out of Kate but she too was unsuccessful. By the time the last snow had melted and March was blowing into the Nation's Capitol, Kate and Jethro had each resigned themselves that what they thought had been real and maybe even life-changing was gone.

Kate was sad most the time when she was alone. She wasn't dating and had no interest in meeting anyone. She worked as much as possible and was rapidly getting noticed for her dedication and willingness to take on extra cases. She worked out furiously; her only outlet for the despair and sadness she felt whenever she thought about Jethro. By now she was as angry with herself as she had ever been with him. She hated the fact that she had never called him and had let so much time go by that now it was useless to call. At least that's what she told herself.

The MCRT was happy to see the end of winter and both DiNozzo and McGee hoped the mood in the squad room would improve along with the weather. They were to be sadly disappointed. Jethro was constantly in a foul mood and only Abby ever got a pleasant word from him. Like Kate he worked all the time and if they didn't have an active case he poured over cold cases just to have a reason to stay at the Navy Yard. He was working too much, sleeping and eating too little and surviving on coffee and bourbon. Jethro was devastated by Kate's absence from his life but either could not or would not take steps to get her back. When she didn't call after the New Year he told himself she was just busy as he was. Then as the weeks passed he gradually came to accept that she had moved on. Now, with spring approaching he knew for certain whatever they had was over.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 15

Abby went to see Ducky late one afternoon after Jethro had been particularly difficult and had even snapped at her over a minor issue. Considering he almost never lost his temper with her, Abby was shocked by his behavior even given his normally foul mood.

"Ducky something has to change or Gibbs is going to lose it."

"What's happened now, Abigail?"

"He almost bit my head off over nothing earlier today and he's so angry all the time. DiNozzo barely opens his mouth anymore and McGee is afraid to move for fear he'll move in the wrong direction."

"I've tried my dear but he won't talk to me. I know it must be Kate's absence but I fear we will just have to weather this storm and wait until he evens out a bit. Have you seen or talked to Kate?"

"No. I've called her a few times but she's always working and can't or won't meet me. What happened to them? Things were going so well at Thanksgiving and then it all seemed to fall apart."

"I don't have any idea. As you say Thanksgiving was fine and then poof, by Christmas it was all over. I'm afraid I'm at a loss as to what to do."

"I hate to see him so unhappy. Maybe I'll try to talk to him. He might get mad but hey, he's already mad so I guess it can't hurt."

"Let me know how it goes."

Abby and the team weren't the only ones to have noticed Jethro's extraordinarily bad mood. The Director had taken notice as well and was not happy about what he was seeing and hearing. He called Gibbs into his office late on a Friday afternoon to discuss that and another matter as well.

"Jethro, what's going on with you these days? You're here late every single night even when I know you aren't working an active case. You're losing weight and frankly, you look like hell. What's happening?"

Tom Morrow had been the NCIS Director for five years and he and Jethro had a very good working and personal relationship. Jethro respected Tom and vice versa. The Director had covered for him when necessary because even though Gibbs often was a bit unorthodox in his approach to things he always got the job done and the bad guy locked up.

"I'm fine, Director. Just trying to work some cold cases."

"Don't bullshit me Jethro! You're a long ways from fine. You're still my best agent but if you keep going as you are you won't be for long. If you're having a medical problem I need to know it. If it's something personal take some time off and deal with it. I need you at the top of your game and you're not there right now."

"I don't have a medical problem."

Jethro sighed and sank down in a chair in front of the Director's desk. He wondered what he should say.

"It's personal, Tom and I'll deal with it. I can do my job you know that."

"Well, like I said I need you at the top of your game. You're about to be a man short for a few weeks so whatever is wrong get it together."

"What are you talking about?"

"Our NCIS agent in Afghanistan was wounded and I need to send a replacement over there. I want DiNozzo to go fill in until the man who was scheduled to rotate over there can go."

"Whoa, wait a minute! Why DiNozzo?"

"Because he's your senior field agent and he's got the most experience of anyone on the roster right now. I think he can handle this."

"Tom that boy's never been in a war zone in his life. Yeah, he's a good agent but I don't want him over there. Let me go. He can handle whatever happens here."

"Jethro are you sure you're up to this? You look like you've been drug through a knothole most of the time these days. I'm not sure you're in any shape to be in a war zone yourself despite your previous experiences."

Jethro got up and paced back and forth in the office. He needed to make Tom understand that he was the better choice for this assignment. He needed to be away from DC and besides that he really didn't want DiNozzo in the hell hole that was Afghanistan.

"Look Tom, I know I'm kind of a mess right now but I'm certainly capable of handling myself. In fact being out of here for a while would probably be the best thing for me. Let DiNozzo run the team for a few weeks. When I get back I'll have myself sorted out and things can go back to normal around here."

Director Morrow looked at his friend and most trusted agent and knew Gibbs was right. He was the best man for the job and the Director's first choice but he had been reluctant to send him given his recent behaviors. Now, with Jethro's assurances he decided to send him to Afghanistan as planned.

"Okay, Jethro the assignment is yours. You leave Sunday morning from Andrews. Are you sure you're up to it?"

"I'm good to go, Tom. Don't worry about me. What do I tell my team?"

"You can tell them where you're going if you want to or I'll tell them on Monday. However you want to do it. Keep you head down Jethro, it's dangerous where you're going."

"Got it. See you when I get back."

When Jethro left the Director's office he felt more energized than he had in weeks. He was glad to be getting out of DC even if he was going to a war zone. He hoped that having something to concentrate on in a different place would help him put Kate out of his mind for good. Every time he thought he was making progress in doing that he would drive past some place they'd enjoyed eating at or see someone on the street that reminded him of her. He couldn't get her out of his head. He couldn't sleep, had no interest in real food and was even neglecting his boat. Maybe in Afghanistan he'd have more luck getting her out of his head. He went back to his desk and spent almost twenty minutes writing something then put it in an envelope and got up.

"Going to see Ducky. You two go on home. I'll be out of town for a while on an assignment for the Director. DiNozzo, you'll be in charge while I'm gone. Don't screw anything up."

"Where you goin' Boss?"

"Need to know and right now you don't. Go on. I'll see you when I get back."

Jethro didn't tell them where he was going because he didn't want to have all the conversation that would entail. He would send them both an email before he left the office.

Tony and Tim looked at each other and wondered what the heck was going on. Whatever it was and wherever he was going they hoped he'd be in a better mood when he got back.

Jethro watched them get on the elevator the took the stairs down to see Ducky.

Ducky was finishing up some paperwork when Jethro walked into the autopsy suite. He wanted to tell his friend goodbye; not just disappear over the weekend with no word of farewell. And, he needed a favor.

"Hello, Jethro. What brings you down here?"

"Ducky, I'm going to working out of town for a while and wanted to say goodbye before I leave."

Ducky studied his friend for a few moments. He was worried about Jethro and they both knew it.

"When you say 'out of town' should I read that as out of the country?"

Jethro just smiled his patented half smile. His eyes of course gave him away to Ducky who had known him for so long.

"I suppose you'll be wearing a helmet and body armor where you're going. Please be careful my friend."

"I will Duck. Listen, I know I've been a pain in the ass lately. Hopefully when I get back I'll be better."

"If it's Caitlyn that's the reason for your recent troubles I doubt going where you're going will help but maybe so."

"Just need some time and space. I hope. Never thought it'd be this hard, Duck."

This was astonishing honesty coming from Jethro and it gave Ducky pause.

"Anything I can do to help you Jethro? Are you going to talk to her before you leave?"

"Haven't talked to her since December Duck. Don't think now's the time. But I do need a favor from you."

"Of course. Anything you need."

Jethro pulled the envelope from his inside jacket pocket. He handed it over to Ducky who looked at it as if it were about to bite him. He suspected what it was and he didn't want to take it. By taking it he would be acknowledging the possibility of it being necessary. That thought made a chill run down his back.

The expression on his friend's face told Jethro that Ducky knew what was in the envelope.

"Just in case, Duck."

Ducky reached out and took it. He noted Kate's name on the front. He slipped it in his own jacket pocket with a silent prayer that he would never know the contents.

"Don't worry, Duck I'll be fine. Just going to fill in for a guy for a while and be back in a few weeks."

"Filling in for Agent Norris who was injured in an IED explosion?"

"Yeah. Well actually for his replacement who can't be there for a few weeks."

"Jethro, you must tell Abigail goodbye. She's terribly worried about you."

"I'll go see her now. Thanks Duck."

Ducky got up and hugged Jethro. Despite Jethro's reassurances, he would worry every day until he saw his friend again.

Jethro stepped into Abby's lab and was assaulted by her typically loud music. He walked up behind his favorite forensic scientist and tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped a foot in the air and screamed, much to Jethro's delight.

"Gibbs! You scared the crap out of me!"

"Really?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I work here Abs."

"You know what I mean. What are you doing down here on a Friday evening when we don't have a case?"

"Came to tell you I'll be working out of town for while starting Monday."

"Where?"

"Afghanistan. Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it."

Abby was skeptical and of course she was going to worry. And, she didn't like the look in Gibbs' eyes.

"If you'll be back so soon why are you telling me goodbye like this? What's really going on."

"Ducky said you're worried about me and I shouldn't leave town without seeing you."

"I am worried. What's wrong Gibbs? It's Kate isn't it? You two broke up. I hate it! You two are perfect for each other and you need to fix it whatever it is."

"Abby, Kate and I just didn't work. That's all I'm going to say. Now, you have a good weekend and don't give DiNozzo too hard a time while I'm gone. Okay?"

"Sure. Gibbs, you know I'll worry while you're gone."

Jethro looked at her and knew there was nothing he could say that would make her feel better about this turn of events. This young woman trusted him and loved him and he needed to respect that.

"A prayer now and then wouldn't hurt. But, Abby I'll be back. I promise."

Now she was worried but she hugged him and told him to be careful. He was walking to the elevator when she had another question. She called after him.

"Gibbs, can I tell Kate where you are?"

Jethro stopped but didn't turn around.

"If you happen to see her then yes you can tell her but, Abby, don't make a special point of telling her. There isn't any reason to do that. Promise me."

"Okay. I'll only tell her if she specifically asks me."

"Thanks Abby."

Jethro went back to his desk and finished up some paperwork. He sent Tony and Tim an email telling them where he was going. He put away some personal items in his desk and locked the drawers. He went on line and checked his personnel file to make sure all his emergency contact and other legal papers were in order. Just in case. He took his weapon and badge and left the office. He fully intended to be back in a few weeks but he had been to war before and he knew everyone didn't come home.

On a whim Jethro decided to stop in at the Tavern to have a drink on the way home. He almost never did that and he hadn't been to this particular bar since he was last there with Kate. But, it was on the way and he liked the atmosphere. And, where he was going a good hamburger and cold beer would be in very short supply. He parked and headed for the front door.

Inside Kate was having drinks with some friends from work. She hadn't been out with them in months and had finally agreed to join them after being badgered all day to go out. She was with two other female agents and their boyfriends so she felt a bit like a fifth wheel but that was okay most of the time. Tonight she was having a good time and trying hard not to let the memory of the fun times she'd had in this place with Jethro ruin her evening.

Kate's coworker Barbara got up to go to the ladies room. One of the men was in the middle of an elaborate joke and had the attention of everyone at the table. Jethro walked in the bar just as the man at Kate's table delivered the punch line. Jethro heard Kate before he saw her. When he looked in the direction of her laugh he saw her leaning into a handsome, thirty-something man and laugh as she held onto his arm. Jethro was transfixed at the sight of her and didn't move for just a couple of seconds. Then he turned abruptly and ran right into Barbara as she was coming from the vicinity of the ladies room.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he headed for the door.

Barbara recognized him from a picture Kate had showed her and started to say something but he was already gone. She looked over at the table and saw Kate laughing with Eric, Barbara's boyfriend. She groaned when she realized what Jethro must have seen. When she got back to the table the others were still chuckling over Eric's joke.

"Hey, Kate, Jethro was here. Did you see him?"

Kate stopped laughing and almost stopped breathing.

"What? Where? I didn't see him."

"Well, unfortunately I think he saw you. And Eric. And the two of you laughing. He was standing in the entryway as I came back from the bathroom. He nearly knocked me over leaving."

Kate didn't know what to say. She had suggested this place when Barb asked where they should meet the guys. She did so because there was always a chance Jethro would stop in on his way home. Even though it was a small chance she'd held onto that thread of hope for so long now that she couldn't let it go. Now he'd walked in at the worst possible moment and undoubtedly misinterpreted what he'd seen.

Knowing it was probably a waste of time Kate went out to the parking lot but Jethro was gone. She called his cell but he didn't answer. She cursed the fates and Barbara's small bladder and went back inside. The rest of the evening wasn't much fun for Kate and she knew she was a wet blanket on everyone else's fun so she went home early. She called Jethro again when she got home but the phone went right to voice mail. She considered going over to his house but decided it was too late at night for that. Tomorrow she was working an afternoon shift on a surveillance job but Sunday was open. She decided she'd call again then and if he didn't answer she'd go see him. She had a feeling she needed to do something before that thread of hope she was hanging onto broke.

Jethro went straight to his basement when he got home and had two quick drinks. He had no interest in working on the boat. In fact what he really wanted to do was break something. Why of all nights did he decide to stop for a drink when he had perfectly good bourbon at home? Why was he so hurt when Kate was doing exactly what he'd told her he wanted her to do? Jethro was too upset to work on the boat and didn't even really want another drink. He went upstairs and started getting organized to be gone for several weeks. He started some laundry, paid the bills and called his neighbor who always took in his mail when he was gone. Evelyn agreed to keep an eye on things for him and put all his mail on the kitchen table.

On Saturday Jethro actually managed to sleep in a little bit. He spent most of the morning roaming around finding little things to do here and there in the yard. He was restless and trying to get the image of Kate with another man out of his head. After lunch he packed a small duffle bag and sat down to study the files the Director had given him. He read over the cases Agent Norris had been working and saw nothing that caused him any great concern. Most of the stuff was very straightforward and shouldn't take much effort to get squared away. He saw that Norris had spent most of his time in the field rather than behind a desk in Kabul. Jethro appreciated that kind of effort. He planned to do the same while he was there.

Jethro called his dad Saturday night and told him he was going to be out of town for a few weeks. This was not entirely out of the ordinary but usually Jethro didn't call ahead. This time though he needed to let his dad know he wouldn't be calling on Sunday afternoons as was their custom.

"You going overseas, son?"

"Yeah shouldn't be more than a couple of weeks, maybe three. How you been feeling?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Glad this winter is about over I'll tell you that. Lookin' forward to spring. Still no word from Kate I suppose."

"No. That's over with dad. Listen, if you need anything or have an emergency and need to get in touch with me call Ducky or DiNozzo and they'll be able to reach me. Take care of yourself and when I get back I'll come see you."

"Alright. You be careful yourself. I know you know what you're doing but don't take any chances and don't be a hero. I love you son."

"Love you too dad. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Kate knew Jethro got up early even on Sunday mornings so she decided to go see him right from her surveillance assignment. It was not quite seven o'clock when she left the site to go to her office and pick up her own car. She figured she'd stop for some good coffee on the way to Jethro's house. That way she could bribe him to talk to her.

When his alarm went off at seven o'clock Jethro was already in the shower. He didn't really need an alarm clock but the radio coming on at least gave him the weather and traffic reports. Neither of which he needed this morning. He spent some extra time enjoying the hot spray knowing it could be a while before he got another good shower. He shaved and dressed and was reading the paper in the kitchen by seven thirty. His car was due to arrive in fifteen minutes. He had been perfectly happy to drive his truck to Andrews and leave it in the long term parking at the airfield but the Director had called him last night and said they were sending a car for him. That made Jethro a little suspicious or nervous but there wasn't anything he could do about it.

Sure enough at seven forty-five on the dot he heard a car drive up. Jethro picked up his duffle, double checked that the coffee maker was off and headed for the door. Contrary to his usual routine he locked the door. He threw his bag in the back seat of the blue, government sedan and got in the passenger seat. The young Airman who was driving wished him a good morning and drove off without delay. Jethro sat back and tried to relax. For some reason he had a bad feeling about this assignment. His gut told him he was missing something and his gut was rarely wrong. He briefly wondered if his gut was telling him something about Afghanistan or about Kate.

Kate turned the corner on Jethro's block just as Jethro and his driver left the driveway. She didn't notice the car leaving Jethro's; she was too nervous to pay much attention to anything at the moment. She was happy to see his truck in the driveway though. She pulled in and was getting out of the car as Evelyn came out to get her paper. The older woman was surprised to see Kate since she hadn't been around in several months. She watched as Kate approached the house with two beverage cups in a holder. Evelyn walked over to stand next to Kate's car.

"Jethro's not home my dear. You just missed him in fact."

"Oh, good morning. Do you know when he'll be back?"

"Not for at least two weeks he told me."

Kate tried to hide her disappointment but obviously didn't do a very good job.

"I'm sorry Miss Todd. He left just before you got here. Was he expecting you?"

"No, I just thought I'd surprise him. Guess I'm too late. Do you know where he's going?"

"He didn't say but then I didn't ask. Usually he can't tell me so I don't ask anymore. Would you like to come in for a few minutes? I have a coffee cake just out of the oven. I shouldn't eat it all myself but I will if you don't help me."

Kate looked to Evelyn as if she was about to cry and Evelyn sensed she needed someone to talk to. She had watched Kate come and go from Jethro's house for months and she had seen how happy her favorite neighbor was when Kate was around. Then all of sudden she didn't see them together anymore and Jethro had reverted to his old closed off self. She'd known Jethro since he was a young Marine with a sweet young wife and an adorable baby girl. She knew better than to ask where Kate was but she still worried. She watched over Jethro without him knowing it and thought of him as a son. She'd watched him grieve the loss of his family and then watched the parade of wives that came and went years later. She hadn't seen him truly happy again until Kate showed up. Now, here was Kate about to cry and Jethro gone for who knew how long.

Evelyn approached Kate and touched her arm.

"Come in and talk to me. I can see you need to unload and who better than someone else who loves Jethro?"

Kate looked startled at that but then she smiled at Evelyn and nodded.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Only to me because I've seen the two of you together and I've seen Jethro since you've been gone. And, I saw the sadness on your face when I told you he was gone. Now, come in and let's see if we can figure out what to do next."

Kate entered Evelyn's cozy, aroma-filled kitchen and immediately felt at home. She had seen Evelyn on and off when she and Jethro were together but had never had occasion to say more than hello or goodbye. She knew Evelyn had lived next door for a long time and Jethro depended on her to watch things when he was gone. She also knew he did small repairs for her, shoveled her walk when it snowed and generally looked after her. From what Kate could tell they had a mutual admiration pact going on.

Evelyn was not one to mince words or beat around the bush so she got right down to business.

"I haven't seen you since before Christmas. What happened with you and my sweet neighbor?"

Kate wasn't sure what to say. She knew Jethro didn't talk to anyone about his personal life but, she reasoned, he wasn't the one being asked. What little Kate knew about Evelyn and Jethro's relationship told her she could confide in this lady. So, that's exactly what she did.

Over coffee cake and Kate's two cups of coffee, Kate told Evelyn what had happened that awful night in the basement. She told her about her failure to call when she came home, her feeling that Jethro was hiding something from her and finally she told her about what happened Friday night at the Tavern. She felt her tears coming when she said she was afraid she had let things go too long and now Jethro wouldn't give them another chance.

Evelyn took all this in without comment. When Kate mentioned Jethro hiding something she instinctively knew he hadn't told her about Shannon and Kelly. It had been almost two years after their deaths and Jethro's return to the house they'd loved so much before he and Evelyn had spoken about them at any length. On that night, sitting in Evelyn's kitchen, Jethro had unloaded all his pent up anger and grief in a three hour marathon session over coffee and pie. She had comforted him as best she could but mostly she just listened. After that night they only rarely spoke about Jethro's family. Now she wondered if she should tell Kate about them. Jethro had never asked her not to talk about them; it was just understood that they didn't. Evelyn was torn though because she had seen how happy Jethro was with Kate and they seemed such a good match that she was sorely tempted to give Kate this insight into the man she obviously loved very much.

"You know about Jethro's marriages don't you?"

"Oh yes. I know he's been married and divorced three times. I don't really care about those. I mean I care but I don't worry about it. My mother does but I don't and I've told him that a hundred times. I don't think that's the problem. But just out of curiosity, did you know any of them well?"

"Not really. Stephanie was only here a short time. Jethro was in Russia with her and then when they came back she didn't stay long. Nice enough young woman but not right for him. His second wife was a very short time thing. Now Diane, she was a pistol. It got loud over there sometimes when she was there. She didn't trust Jethro, thought he was cheating on her when he was working cases. That just shows you she didn't really know him. Anyone who knows Jethro knows he'd never cheat on his wife. Even if she was a shrew! She cleaned him out and then married that FBI guy Fornell."

"Yes, I can't quite believe that and now those two are best friends. I bet they have some stories to tell between the two of them."

TBC

A/N: Not a great stopping point but otherwise it turns into a marathon. Next chapter tomorrow. Thanks for all the reviews and follows.


	16. Chapter 16

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 16

The two women shared a laugh about Fornell and Jethro sharing an ex-wife. Evelyn poured them a second cup of coffee and took a deep breath. She said a silent prayer asking Jethro to forgive her for what she about to do.

"Kate, I think there is something you need to know. I'm not sure it's my place to tell you this but considering the situation I'm going to go out on a limb and tell you anyway. Jethro may never forgive me and if so I'll have to live with that."

"Evelyn, I can't imagine Jethro being angry with you no matter what you may say."

"You don't know about Jethro's first wife. And his daughter."

Evelyn paused and Kate stared at her in shock. Jethro has a daughter. Well, he certainly was keeping something, or someone, from her.

"His daughter? Jethro has a child? Where?"

"He had a daughter. Jethro's first wife, Shannon and their daughter Kelly were killed while Jethro was in Kuwait. This happened in California where they had gone before he was deployed. She saw a drug deal and was going to testify against this big time dealer and he had them and an NCIS agent who was driving them killed. Jethro came back here about a year later. By then he was out of Corps and working for NCIS."

Kate was speechless. She was too stunned to even begin to have a response. All the time they had spent together, all the intimate moments and conversations they had shared and he never told her about what had to be the most devastating loss of his life.

"Oh my god. Evelyn, I don't know what to say. I can't believe he wouldn't trust me enough to tell me this. Why is this such a secret?"

"I'm not sure I know the answer to that. You know of course that Jethro is a very private person. He doesn't want pity and he doesn't want to put his pain on others. For a long time I think he didn't talk about them because he wanted to keep them close; not share them with anyone. That was his way of holding onto them. I have no doubt that his unwillingness to talk about them is what doomed his marriages in the end. No one can compete with loved ones who are gone. Of course none of those women were right for Jethro anyway but that's beside the point."

"I don't know whether to be angry at him or sad for him. I can see now where he goes emotionally sometimes. There were so many times when I just couldn't reach him and I never understood where he went at those times. Now I suppose I know; he was in the past."

They were quiet for a while, both digesting what had been said. Kate's emotions were in a turmoil. She truly did not know how she felt about this information and the fact that it was coming from a virtual stranger instead of from the man to whom she had proclaimed her love.

"Can you tell me about them?"

"Shannon and Jethro were young and fairly newly married when they bought their house. It was pretty much a wreck at the time so maybe that's why they could afford it. Anyway, Jethro spent all his spare time when he was home fixing first one thing and then the next. Shannon painted and worked right along with him. Pretty soon they had the place fixed up and things were going well. Kelly came along soon after and Shannon was a wonderful mother. Jethro was gone a lot with the Corps by then and most of the time she didn't know where he was. But when he was home he was always and I mean always with that baby. He was the definition of a good father. He adored that little girl and her mother too. It was a happy household and they were such a joy to watch. Kelly was eight when Jethro was sent to Kuwait. He was attached to a Division out of Camp Pendleton so Shannon and Kelly went out there to be with him until he deployed. That was the last I saw of them."

Again, silence reigned in the kitchen. Kate could hear the neighborhood coming awake, birds chattering in the trees in the backyard and neighbors coming out for their papers or leaving for church or breakfast out. She thought back to times when Jethro seemed so distant and now it made sense to her. His extra effort on a case that involved a child was now explained. Her heart ached for him. Maybe he didn't want another child. Maybe that was why he wouldn't let himself give in to them being together. Kate feared if that was true there was no hope for them because she didn't think she could give up her desire for children.

Evelyn laid her hand on Kate's arm.

"Tell me what you're thinking."

Kate tried to organize her thoughts then told Evelyn her fear that Jethro didn't want another child.

"That may be true but I don't think so. He has a wonderful way with children; I've seen it with my own grandchildren. I think he knew he wasn't married to the right woman with each of his ex-wives so he didn't let it happen. Or perhaps he wasn't through grieving. I'm not sure he's through now but he's certainly in a better place than he was a few years ago. And this I know for sure; he hadn't been as happy for years as he was with you around. Mark my word, Jethro cares for you, Kate. Very much."

"I know he does but honestly that's not enough for me. I want a family. I want it with Jethro but I don't think he's willing to make a commitment like that."

"So you two have talked about children?"

"No. All he's ever said on the subject is what he told me that night in the basement. That he couldn't give me what I want; a family etc."

"Well, I think we just need to change his mind. I do know that he blamed himself for Shannon and Kelly's deaths for a very long time. Maybe still does to some extent."

"But he wasn't even in the country when that happened was he?"

"No and that's the problem. Jethro is so very protective of those he loves and feels such a responsibility to them that even though he was overseas, in a war for heaven's sake, he believes he failed them. It was that feeling of failure that haunted him for so long. I believe he's put most of that behind him but I imagine when he thinks about loving you he wonders if he could do a better job or if he would, as he says, fail you at some point. And if you had children. . . well you can imagine what that would be like for him."

"Oh my gosh, Evelyn. How in the world can I ever get past or through all that?"

"Only one way, my dear. Love him. Show him you trust him and love him unconditionally. He hasn't had that from a partner since Shannon died. It won't be easy as you have already discovered but if you do love him you'll find a way. But, if you don't think you can stay in it for the long haul then please don't start up again."

"You know, he said he more or less always thought we'd break up. He never thought we'd stay together. Can you believe that?"

"Kate remember he's never had anyone stay the course with him. They all bailed on him when it got tough; when things were too hard and he was too hard to live with they divorced him. Now, I'm not saying he wasn't at fault in those marriages because I'm sure he was very difficult to live with. And, he is the common denominator in all those divorces. But I know Jethro and I know he's a good man. One of the best I've ever known. He's honest and generous and will never hurt you on purpose. I'm not sure he believes he deserves to be happy. But he does. And he was happy with you. I saw it and I was so thrilled for him and you too. As I said, if you truly, honestly love him then you may have to fight for him."

Suddenly Kate was exhausted. She had been awake all night and now all this information about Jethro on top of her anxiety about seeing him again had her about to collapse.

"Evelyn I can't tell you how much I appreciate you talking with me today. I need to go home and get some sleep and process all this. I don't know yet what I will do. I do love Jethro and I agree with you that he is a wonderful person. I want to be the one who loves him enough to stick with him but I don't know if I am or not."

"Kate you came here today for a reason. It's been months since you saw Jethro is that right?"

"Yes, I haven't seen him since a few days before Christmas."

"Yet you came here early this morning to see him. Why?"

"Because I wanted him to know that what he saw at the restaurant on Friday wasn't what I suspect he thought it was. I wasn't there with another man. In fact I was hoping against hope that Jethro would be there. And he was but at exactly the wrong moment."

"And after all this time why aren't you with someone else?"

Kate had to laugh. Evelyn was leading her right to the answer she had known all along.

"Because I'm in love with your favorite neighbor. Heaven help me, I love Jethro. I don't want to be with anyone but him.""

"Kate you are the one that can love Jethro enough to show him he's worthy of that love. But you will have to be patient and persistent. I know it shouldn't be so hard to convince a man of something he already knows but in this case it will be. If Jethro didn't care mightily for you he wouldn't be so worried about hurting you. Just keep after him and don't take no for an answer. And if you need help just call me and together we'll get that man where he needs to be."

"That's a deal. Thank you so much Evelyn. I really must go before I fall asleep right here on your kitchen table. I'll keep you posted."

"You're very welcome, Kate. Take care and I hope you are able to track Jethro down soon."

Kate drove home on autopilot. She was exhausted both physically and emotionally. As soon as she got home she took a shower followed by two Benadryl to help her sleep and fell into bed. She willed herself not to think about anything. All she wanted was sleep and she hoped that when she woke up her mind would be clear enough to allow her to think rationally about Jethro and their relationship.

Kate spent all Sunday afternoon and evening thinking about everything Evelyn told her. She even went so far as to write it down so she could remember the details. She went over in her head a thousand times all the reasons she should walk away from Jethro but every time she did she came back to one critical fact that wouldn't let her do that; she was in love with him. She couldn't deny that and she couldn't make it go away. She wanted to give them a chance and knowing what she did now she thought they could make it.

Monday morning Kate called Jethro's phone again but it went straight to voice mail. Then she called Abby.

"Hey Abby, how are you?"

"Hi Kate, I'm okay. How are you these days? It's been a while."

"Yes it has. I guess you know Jethro and I aren't together right now."

"Oh yeah, we can tell. He's been a bear for months. Think you could work it out and give us all a break?"

Abby was only half teasing. She seriously wanted Kate and Jethro back together and not just for her own sake.

"Well, that's sort of why I'm calling. His neighbor said he's out of town. Do you know how I can reach him?"

"I don't think you can. I haven't talked to him since he left."

Abby was stalling because Kate hadn't asked where he was and she had promised not to tell her unless she asked.

"You mean he's not just working a case?"

"No, he's on a temporary assignment."

This wasn't making any sense to Kate.

"Abby where is Jethro?"

"Afghanistan."

"Oh hell. What is he doing over there?"

"He's filling in for the guy who was there but got hurt. Well really he's filling in for the guy who's taking the place of the guy who got hurt. Anyway, he'll be there for another two weeks or so."

"And you don't have any way to contact him?"

"I'm sure we do but not just to talk, you know. If the director needed him I'm sure they could reach him."

That was definitely not what Kate wanted to hear.

"Abby if you happen to talk to him please tell him I said to be careful and I want to see him when he gets home."

"Okay, I'll tell him. Kate, if you need to talk I'll be happy to listen. I really want you two to work things out if you can."

"Me too, Abby. Thanks."

The next three weeks would be long and difficult for both Jethro and Kate.

When he arrived in Kabul Jethro was tired, hungry and dirty. Travel by military transport left a lot to be desired but luckily he was able to sleep in almost any conditions including uncomfortable, noisy cargo planes. He found the building that housed the NCIS office and went in to find whoever was in charge. Jethro located Captain Miller whom the Director had told him would show him Agent Norris' desk.

"Welcome, Agent Gibbs. How was your trip?"

"Noisy. Can you show me where Agent Norris worked?"

"Sure, his files are all in this cabinet. I don't think he had anything really serious active when he got wounded. He was going out with a patrol that was looking for a couple of missing contractors. Do you know how he's doing?"

"I think he's going to be okay. Nothing permanent I don't think. I'm just here for a few weeks because his replacement is in the middle of case in Norfolk."

"Well if you want to get settled in, his bunk is in the next building. I don't know really what else I can tell you about what he was doing. He was pretty quiet about stuff but I know he didn't like sitting around here so he found things to check out."

"Sounds like a good agent. I hate desk work myself so hopefully I won't be in your hair much either. Thanks for your help Captain."

By the end of the week Kate was a nervous wreck thinking about Jethro being in Afghanistan. All sorts of terrible, scary thoughts were beginning to germinate in her mind. Late Friday afternoon she decided to try again to get some information. She called Abby but got her voice mail so she called Ducky. They had been partners in getting her and Jethro on track with the cards what seemed like a year ago and she hoped he would tell her what she needed to know.

"Dr. Mallard."

"Ducky it's Kate. Am I calling at a bad time."

"No, my dear just doing some paperwork. How are you?"

"I'm okay. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch in so long. I'm sure you know Jethro and I are not together right now."

"Yes, I do know and I'm very sorry. What can I do for you my dear?"

"Ducky, I'm trying to get in touch with Jethro. I know from talking to Abby where he is but I wonder if there is a way to contact him."

"I'm afraid it's not easy to get in touch with him. He checks in with the Director I'm sure but we haven't spoken to him since he got there. Is there an emergency?"

"Not really. I just want to talk with him. It's important but certainly not an emergency. Abby said he's filling in for an agent who was hurt. Ducky did he volunteer for this assignment?"

"Yes, I believe he did more or less. The Director wanted to send DiNozzo and Jethro persuaded him to send him instead. You didn't hear that from me."

"Of course. Ducky has Jethro talked to you about us?"

"No my dear I'm afraid not. I wish he would. If I can be of any help I would welcome the opportunity."

"I may take you up on that. If you speak to him will you tell him I called for him?"

"Yes, of course. Kate, are you hoping to get back together with our friend?"

"Yes, very much so."

"May I ask what changed your mind?"

"I had a long talk with Jethro's neighbor last Sunday. She told me some things that helped me understand him. I want to try again Ducky. Do you think he'll give us another chance?"

Ducky surmised that Evelyn must have told Kate about Shannon and Kelly. He wondered how Jethro would take that.

"I don't know. Kate, please don't do this unless you are one hundred percent committed to staying in the fight. Jethro can be difficult to say the least but he doesn't deserve to be hurt again."

"I understand and I agree. Do you have any idea when he might be back?"

"I'm afraid not. I expect it will be at least two weeks, maybe three. I'm sorry Kate. I hope when Jethro returns you two can work things out. He has been miserable since before Christmas."

"I hope so too, Ducky. If you happen to hear from Jethro please tell him I said to be careful and come home safely."

"I don't expect to talk to him but if I do I'll tell him."

One week turned into two and still Kate had no word from anyone who had talked to Jethro. If he had just been out of town working she could have dealt with it much more easily even if she wasn't able to talk to him. She developed a great respect for all the families and friends who waited months and months for their loved ones to come home from the war. She had no idea how they could bear the anxiety and outright fear that sometimes kept her awake at night. And she and Jethro weren't even together. She thought about Shannon and how she must have worried when Jethro was away.

Jethro spent the first week going through Norris' paperwork and filling out what he could. There were some reports started and notes taken on them so Jethro put them together as best he could and forwarded them to DC. He had a couple of calls with the Director but he didn't have any communication with his team. Mostly he tried to stay busy in the office the first several days anyway. After that he managed to find his way along on a few local patrols to get the lay of the land and to prevent death by boredom.

While he was in the office he got to know Captain Miller pretty well. The Captain was assigned briefly to the headquarters because of a minor wound he has sustained during a patrol two weeks earlier. He was scheduled to return to his FOB in two weeks. He and Jethro found they had a lot in common and they began spending their free time playing cards and working out together. Jethro liked the young Marine and found he was interested in becoming a SEAL. Jethro thought he had a good chance of accomplishing that very daunting task.

At the beginning of the second week Jethro was notified of a potential problem between a couple of Marines and some of the locals in a village about fifty miles away. He talked to Capt. Miller and arranged transport to the base there. He spent two days sorting out the situation, got the problem Marines transferred and then spent the next three days at the base because he couldn't bear the thought of anymore desk time. He took his turn on watch and went on patrols when he could. Jethro made sure the officers in charge didn't mind him being there; he didn't want to disrupt the routine of the squad but they seemed happy to have him along. His sniper skills seemed to help him fit in.

At night sitting around listening to the young Marines talk about home, Jethro was reminded of how he used to long for home when he was deployed. Now he was just as happy to be here with fellow Marines. He also knew though that he didn't really belong in the thick of the war anymore. He knew most of the young men he was with were young enough to be his sons. He had done his time, served well and now he belonged back in DC where he could still make a difference.

Jethro returned to Kabul with just one week to go before he would go home and Agent Reynolds would arrive to assume his post. He spent a couple of days writing up the report on the two Marines he had gotten transferred and working with their commander on what to do with them next. Most of his time was spent reading after action reports from the various FOBs and talking with Captain Miller about his hunting cabin in West Virginia. Jethro was definitely envious when the young man described the fishing and hunting that was available just outside his cabin door.

"You should come up and see it sometime, Gunny. I'll be home in two months and that's where I'll be as soon as I say hello to my mom and dad."

"I just might take you up on that."

Jethro liked Capt. Miller and thought he was a fine officer. He was gung-ho but also had a steady way about him that meant he was cool under fire and able to make good decisions in the heat of battle. He talked a lot about growing up in a small town in West Virginia and how much he missed it. He was an only child just like Jethro and they laughed about some of the crazy things that happened in very small towns. Both loved to be outdoors and even though Miller had never been sailing he thought it would be fun. Jethro promised to take him out when he was back home and Miller promised Jethro some excellent fishing at his cabin.

The next morning with just three days left before Jethro was to leave, Captain Miller came to him with an offer he couldn't refuse.

"Hey, Gunny, just got a report from one of our FOBs that some international aid workers have gone missing. They have a Navy Corpsman with them. Think you might want to go with us to get them back?"

"Hell yes. Where'd they go missing?"

Capt. Miller showed Jethro on the wall map where the FOB was located and the village just below it in a small valley.

"They were working in a clinic in the village, giving immunizations and such and they disappeared last night. We figure the bad guys snatched them and plan to ransom them. At least we hope they plan to ransom them."

"Yeah, let's hope so but let's go get them just in case they don't have that in mind."

"Pretty rugged area, Gunny. You only have three days left here. Sure you want to come along?"

"I'm sure. Unless you don't want me along."

"You kidding? We always need an extra shooter. We're getting a chopper in about an hour."

"I'll be ready."

By the time they got to the FOB the Marines there had intel that the aid workers were in a very remote area about ten miles past the village. By very remote they meant there wasn't another village around there and nothing but mountains, sand and bad guys usually in that general area.

They radioed for some air support and attack helicopters were on standby. Jethro looked around at the young men he was about to go into the unknown with and hoped they all came back. They were well trained, in excellent shape, and armed to the teeth but the enemy was lethal and usually well hidden. At least they weren't in a village where they could hide among civilians as they so often did.

Four humvees loaded with Marines left the FOB along with several armored vehicles with mounted guns. Jethro was in a vehicle with Miller, three other Marines and a corpsman. No one spoke along the way except to go over their plan. They arrived without incident in the area where they had been told the workers were being kept. There were a few crumbling buildings in what had likely once been a small village but there didn't seem to be anyone around. They spread out and took up positions using their vehicles for cover. There were scouts already in the hills surrounding them and they reported no sightings of any bad guys.

Using one of the humvees for cover, Captain Miller led several Marines including Jethro, toward the only structure that had walls and a roof still intact. They entered the building and found the aid workers tied up in the back room. No one else was around. The Marines quickly untied the workers and led them to a vehicle to be taken back to the FOB. As Captain Miller and Jethro exited the building Jethro had a bad feeling about the whole operation.

"That was much too easy, Captain. Something's wrong."

"I agree. Feels like a set up. Let's get the hell out of here."

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 17

Captain Miller signaled for everyone to load up and they headed back to the FOB. The scouts also began making their way down to their vehicles to head back to base. About half way back to the village near their base was a narrow section of the road that was flanked by imposing hills on each side. Miller and all the Marines knew if they were going to be ambushed it would be at that spot so they were on high alert. There was no way around the fact that they had to drive through this very dangerous ambush area. Miller asked for the helicopters to fly over the area and they were scheduled to arrive about the time the convoy would get there. Unfortunately they arrived about two minutes later than they should have.

As the convoy neared the danger zone, Miller got on the radio and reminded everyone to be alert. He told the drivers to maintain their spacing so the vehicles weren't too close together. They heeded his warnings and that probably saved some lives. Just as the second vehicle entered the most narrow part of the passage all hell broke loose. RPG's rained down on the convoy and two vehicles were hit. Everybody exited their vehicles and ran for cover. The vehicles were some sort of cover of course but they were also large, inviting targets and not the place to be when an RPG hit. The next few minutes were hell on earth and only their training and superior firepower saved the Marines.

Jethro and Miller had been running only a few feet from their humvee when it was hit by a rocket. They were thrown several feet and when they scrambled up to run for cover they were in the open and taking small arms fire. They were firing as they ran and Jethro saw Miller stagger and then fall. Jethro was hit in the leg but managed to keep going until he was knocked down by an RPG landing a few feet behind him. He fell hard on his shoulder and felt something give way as he landed. The pain was worse than the leg wound and his breath was knocked out of him for a moment.

Jethro looked over at Miller who was about three feet from him and saw his leg was lying at an odd angle and there was a lot of blood in the sand beside him.

"_Oh hell no, you're not dying out here Miller."_

Jethro somehow managed to crawl over to the Captain and roll him over. He checked him over and saw his right leg was badly broken. He tore open his vest and found a gunshot wound in the upper chest area. Somehow a bullet had gotten though the body armor. There was considerable blood everywhere. Miller was barely conscious and Jethro knew he needed to get the bleeding stopped. He grabbed Miller's pack that had emergency supplies in it and put a handful of bandages over the wound. When that didn't seem to be enough he used the bandages in his own pack and then tore off his own vest and shirt and put his shirt on the wound. This was made more difficult because Jethro couldn't raise his left arm at all. He realized his shoulder was broken or at least dislocated. Captain Miller opened his eyes and Jethro started talking to the young Marine he had come to like and respect so much. As the chaos subsided and the noise of battle quieted the men began to look for and assist the wounded.

"Hold on Marine. You're going to be fine. Keep your eyes on me. Choppers are here and we're going to get you out of here."

"Gunny, tell my folks I love them and I'm sorry."

"You tell them yourself. I'm not letting you die on me. You're taking me fishing, Marine. You hold on."

"Promise me you'll call them. On my desk is their info. Promise me Gunny."

"Listen to me Paul, I'll call them and tell them you're hurt and you'll be home sooner than expected. You are not dying out here."

From the time the first vehicle got hit until the helicopters arrived was less than three minutes but it seemed like hours to the men on the ground. The helicopter gunships bombarded the hilltops with rockets until the enemy were either all dead or at least retreating. After their attack, silence fell over the area as the Marines waited to be sure it was clear to move about. Two more helicopters arrived to secure the area and evacuate the wounded.

Once the shooting stopped the choppers provided cover and the Marines began treating their wounded and assessing the damage. One of the men saw Jethro and Miller and called for the corpsman. Once the corpsman arrived Jethro backed away and let him work on Miller. Another Marine wrapped a bandage around Jethro's leg and got his arm in a sling. Jethro never took his eyes off the Captain.

Jethro, Captain Miller and two other wounded Marines were evacuated by choppers within thirty minutes of the fire fight ending. Miraculously none of the Marines had been killed and most the their wounds were not life threatening. Captain Miller and one of the other men were the most seriously wounded. Jethro rode with Miller to the field hospital holding his hand the entire way. He kept squeezing his hand to let him know he was there and the Captain managed to acknowledge most of the time. By the time they got to the hospital in Kabul Jethro was sure the young man was going to survive.

Not even two hours later Jethro limped down the hall to find Miller and check on his condition. He found a doctor who took him to a curtained area and let him see Miller. The Captain was stabilized and sedated. His chest wound had been cleaned and repaired and his leg was in a cast. He was going to be flown directly to the States the next day. Jethro didn't know it yet but he would be on the same plane.

"He's going to be okay right doc?"

"Yes. His leg was pretty messed up but we have an excellent orthopedic surgeon here so he's going to be fine in that regard. He has a rod in there to stabilize the bone and once that heals he should be good as new. The chest wound was a close call and whoever stemmed his blood loss undoubtedly saved his life. He should make a full recovery."

"He wants to be a SEAL," Jethro's voice was so quiet the doctor could barely hear him.

"Well, these injuries shouldn't keep him from applying."

"Thanks doc."

"You look like you need to lie down Marine."

About that time another doctor appeared and stepped up to Jethro.

"Agent Gibbs what are you doing down here?"

"Just checking on Paul. Wanted to make sure he was okay."

"Well if you're satisfied about that we're ready to fix that shoulder. You were due in surgery thirty minutes ago."

Jethro suddenly felt very light headed and needed to sit down. He had been running on adrenaline for too long and now that he knew Paul was okay he was absolutely exhausted. He didn't complain when the surgeon called for a gurney and two nurses helped him lie down. He was asleep before they even started the anesthesia. His shoulder injury was a displaced fracture that required two pins to stabilize. His leg wound did not involve the bone which was lucky. It was cleaned and sewn up. The leg would be sore for a while but Jethro would be up and around in a day or two.

Jethro came out of surgery in good shape and once he was out of the anesthesia he was put in a ward and fell back to sleep. He woke up in the middle of the night and was somewhat disoriented until he looked around and remembered where he was. A nurse saw he was awake and came to check on him.

"Do you have any pain Agent Gibbs?"

"Some but not too much. When can I get out of here?"

"I understand you and Captain Miller are leaving us tomorrow morning. Can I get you anything?"

"Some water I guess. I need to get my gear. Can I leave here in time to do that?"

"It's all packed and waiting for you over there." The nurse pointed to a chair next to the bed where Jethro's pack was sitting.

"Thanks."

He drank a little water then, knowing he was going home and all his gear was ready, he relaxed and went back to sleep.

The next morning Jethro and Captain Miller were put on a medical evacuation plane and flown home. Jethro couldn't really get comfortable lying down because of his shoulder so he was propped up in a hospital-type bed. He slept most of the time but when he was awake he thought about going home to an empty house. He hadn't talked to the doctors much about his recovery but they had told him he would need someone at home with him for a few days until he could learn to manage with his shoulder immobilized most of the time. He had told them that wouldn't be a problem but of course he didn't have anyone at home and didn't have any intention of changing that.

Jethro thought about all the times he went home from a deployment and Shannon was waiting for him. After Kelly was old enough to color and draw there were always 'welcome home' signs all over the house. Coming home had meant lots of time spent getting reacquainted and loving each other as if there was no tomorrow. Now he was coming home to an empty house just as he had been doing for so long. He never really gave it much thought until now but for some reason this time seemed different. Maybe it was because he had had such a close call this time. Or maybe it was because deep down he knew there was someone he wished would be waiting. Jethro let himself imagine what it would be like to have Kate waiting for him. After a few minutes though that was too painful and he shook himself to drive those thoughts away. After all, the last time he saw Kate she was laughing on the arm of another man.

Director Morrow had been notified of Jethro's injuries and had told his team. He assured them Jethro was okay and would be home in a day or two. Ducky followed the Director from the squad room to the elevator.

"Where is Jethro going to be when he gets back to the States?"

"They're flying into Andrews and he and the Captain he was with will be taken to Walter Reed. I have been told Jethro will only need to be there overnight so the doctors there can evaluate him and make any necessary follow up plans."

"I'd like to be there if not when he arrives then shortly thereafter. Do you know when he is scheduled to be back?"

"I was told they were leaving Kabul this morning. I'll check on their expected arrival time and let you know."

"Thank you Director."

"Ducky, Jethro was a mess before he left on this assignment. Do you know what that was about?"

Ducky hesitated. He had known Director Morrow for a number of years and liked him very much. He also knew the Dirctor and Jethro were close. Even so he wasn't sure how much he should divulge about Jethro's private life.

"What did he tell you was the matter?"

"He said it was a personal thing. I took that to mean a woman. Am I right?"

"Yes. I'm hoping the situation will improve once Jethro gets home but of course where he and women are concerned one never knows."

"Amen to that. I'll let you know when he's due to arrive, Ducky."

"Thanks again."

Ducky went back to autopsy with a plan percolating in the back of his mind. He had Jethro's letter in his pocket and was profoundly glad he had not had to give it to Kate. He was about to take a step he wasn't sure his friend would appreciate but given the circumstances and his conversation with Kate weeks ago, he was quite sure it was a step that needed to be taken. Ducky sent his assistant off to lunch and sat down to make a phone call.

"Agent Todd, can I help you?"

"Hello Kate, it's Ducky."

Kate's stomach dropped at the sound of the ME's voice. Something had happened to Jethro she was sure of it.

"Ducky please tell me he's alright."

Noting the frantic tone of her voice Ducky didn't hesitate, "He will be alright. He was injured but is on his way home right now. He will be okay, I assure you."

Kate breathed a sigh of relief and her whole system got back on track.

"Thank God. What happened?"

"I don't have all the details. He was with a contingent of Marines on a rescue mission and they were ambushed. He was shot in the leg and has a broken shoulder. He is on his way home now and will be at Walter Reed sometime tonight I imagine."

"Thank you for calling Ducky. I have been so worried these past three weeks. I almost jump out of my skin every time the phone rings at home. I appreciate you letting me know all this."

"My dear, have you decided whether or not you wish to rekindle your relationship with Jethro?"

"I have thought of almost nothing else since you and I talked. Yes, I know that I love Jethro and I want to try and persuade him to give us another chance. Any suggestions?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do have a suggestion. I plan to be at the hospital when Jethro gets there. They expect to keep him overnight and then he will be able to go home. I will take him home but I wonder if you would be willing to be there as well. At the house I mean."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? So soon, I mean."

"No, I'm not sure but I think it could be exactly what he needs. He will need some help with basic things for a few days while his shoulder remains immobilized. I can't stay with him because of my mother and he won't tolerate anyone he doesn't know. No way DiNOzzo or McGee could do it and that leaves only Abby or you. My suggestion is you. I hate to say this but it may be your best chance to get him to listen to you. He will be somewhat vulnerable; a position he is loathe to let anyone see, and you may be able to exploit that to your advantage. I know that sounds terrible but perhaps fate has given you an opportunity you wouldn't otherwise have."

"Wow, I don't know what to say. I understand your reasoning though. This will be the one and only time I will have the upper hand. Maybe I should take advantage of it."

"Exactly. Caitlyn, I believe Jethro cares deeply for you and may very well love you. Now that you know about Shannon and Kelly you understand, I think, his reluctance to let himself act on those feelings. I believe he needs the reassurance that you will stick with him and that you love him in spite of himself."

"Well, I do love him. I'll be there Ducky you just tell me when. I'll bring some groceries so don't worry about that. I'll take a couple of days off so I can stay with him. You said he was shot in the leg right? So, I should be able to outrun him if he gets too upset with me being there."

Ducky laughed and agreed that would be the case. He was delighted Kate was willing to take this chance with Jethro. Of course Ducky failed to mention just what a terrible patient Jethro had always been. Some things were best left to be discovered on their own!

Ducky was at the hospital when Jethro arrived. Once Jethro was settled in his room, Ducky went in to see him. He was struck by his friend's tired appearance and had to remind himself Jethro had been in a war zone for three weeks and had been seriously wounded just two days ago. All in all he realized, Jethro looked pretty good. He stepped into his friend's room and approached his bedside. Jethro was not hooked up to any monitors and seemed to be resting comfortably. Ducky put his hand gently on Jethro's right arm and Jethro opened his eyes and turned his head.

"Hello, Jethro. I'm so glad to see you."

"Hey, Duck. Glad to see you too. What are you doing here though?"

"Oh just passing through. I'm here to see you of course. Don't be ungrateful, Jethro, it doesn't become you!"

"Just kidding you Duck. I figured you'd be here. How are things? DiNozzo doin' okay?"

"Yes, he did fine while you were away but we will all be glad to have you back. Whenever that may be."

"Won't be long. Leg's just a minor thing. The shoulder will take a while but I can manage. We'll see what the docs say tomorrow. Can you spring me from here in the morning?"

"That's the plan. I'll be here to talk to the doctor and get your rehab and recovery instructions. And before you ask, no I don't trust you to get that information yourself."

"Thanks Duck. I am glad to see you. Could you do me a favor?"

"Of course. Name it."

"Check on a Captain Paul Miller and let me know how he's doing. I came in with him. Good kid and I want to make sure his parents get here. Let me know if he needs anything."

"Alright, I'll check before I leave and let you know. Now, tell me how you're feeling about things."

"You mean about getting shot and nearly blown up or somethin' else?"

"Either one or both."

Jethro gave Ducky the short version of his time in Afghanistan and a slightly more detailed version of the ambush. Naturally he left out the part about him saving Paul Miller's life but Ducky would learn that later from Captain Miller. When Jethro was finished Ducky waited a few minutes then pressed on.

"What about the something else?"

Jethro stared at the ceiling for a long time. He was tired and his leg ached but he knew Ducky meant well and honestly, he wanted to talk about Kate. He just wasn't sure how to say what he wanted to say. Ducky could see his friend struggling and since he knew quite well that verbal expression was not something Jethro did willingly he decided to help him along.

"Kate has been frantic with worry since you left. She called Abby on the Monday after you left and Abby told her where you were. She called me a few days later and we talked for quite a while."

Jethro wasn't looking at him but Ducky knew he was listening and processing what he was hearing.

"She loves you Jethro. I think you know that but I don't think it hurts to hear it again. If I may be so bold, I believe you have very strong feelings for her as well. Right?"

"Yes."

"But?"

"Ducky, the Friday before I left I saw Kate at the Tavern with another man. A younger man; her age, and she looked pretty happy."

Of course Ducky was unaware of this but still, he felt there must be an explanation. Kate had told him just that afternoon that she loved Jethro and wanted to be with him.

"Maybe you misinterpreted what you saw."

"Was pretty clear. Anyway, she said she call me when she came back from Christmas with her family and I'm still waiting. That was how many months ago? I just don't think I can do it Ducky. Much as I might want to; it will hurt too much when it doesn't work out."

Ducky's certainty about Kate and Jethro wavered when he heard the doubt and pain in his friend's voice. Perhaps Jethro was right; perhaps it wasn't meant to be. Then he thought about the letter Jethro had left with him. Kate meant something special to Jethro or he would not have written a letter to be given to her in the event of his death. No, Ducky was sure these two belonged together and he was going to see that they got every chance to make that happen.

"Jethro, just contemplate while you are lying here what it would be like to have that woman in your life for the rest of your life. If that is something you want, you can make it happen. You must trust me on that. Now, I will go check on your friend and report back to you."

"Thanks Duck."

Jethro had already contemplated a life with Kate; on the plane home and in his dreams for months before he escaped to Afghanistan. He could, when he let himself, imagine a life with Kate and in his imagination it was a joyful, fun life that included children and house full of laughter. This was the life he had dreamed of and indeed had lived with Shannon and Kelly. His dream died while he was in Kuwait and he never dared to let that dream form in his mind again. Not until Kate came along anyway. Then, when it was within his reach he had turned away from it and slammed the door before it could take hold in his heart again. At least that was what he thought he was doing that awful night in the basement when he broke Kate's heart. He had to admit, at least to himself, that he had not slammed the door tight enough because he still sometimes saw the dream and wanted it to come true.

By the time Ducky came back to the room Jethro had drifted off to sleep. Ducky again touched Jethro on the arm and waited for him to focus.

"Captain Miller is doing very well. His parents will be here later tonight. We will be sure to see all of them before we leave tomorrow. Go back to sleep Jethro. I'll see you in the morning."

"Thanks Ducky."

"You're welcome. And Jethro, welcome home."

The next morning Ducky was at the hospital in time to catch Jethro's doctor and get his discharge instructions. Jethro would need to keep his shoulder immobilized and the surgical site dry for three more days. After that he would begin physical therapy and be allowed to move his arm so the shoulder didn't freeze up. He would need to continue to use the sling for a few more weeks as the shoulder healed. His leg wound was in good shape. He was to stay off his leg as much as possible for the next several days but after that he could do as much as was comfortable. They were given a phone number to call to arrange the physical therapy. The doctor asked Jethro if he needed pain medication and Jethro said no, he could manage with over the counter medication if necessary. When all the paperwork was signed, Jethro and Ducky were free to go.

Using one crutch to take some weight off his injured leg, Jethro found his way to Captain Miller's room. Ducky stepped back and allowed Jethro to precede him into the room. Paul was hooked up to several monitors but he looked remarkably better than when Jethro last saw him. He stepped up to the side of the bed and Paul grinned up at him.

"Hey Gunny, where you been?"

"Just down the hall. How're you feeling?"

"Not too bad. You going home?"

"Yes. Paul this is my friend Dr. Mallard. He's the ME I was telling you about."

"Good to meet you Paul. I hope you have a speedy recovery."

"I wouldn't have any recovery if not for this guy," Paul gave Jethro a light punch on the arm.

Jethro didn't want to go there so he asked, "Are your parents here yet?"

"Yeah, they went to get some coffee. Can you wait to meet them before you go?"

"Sure. You okay with that Duck?"

"Absolutely, we have plenty of time."

The three men talked for a few minutes before Paul's parents got back. After introductions all around Mr. Miller focused his attention on Jethro.

"Agent Gibbs, my son has told me what you did for him after he was wounded. I will never be able to thank you enough for saving him."

Jethro was not one to take credit for doing what he saw as his job so he was uneasy with this thanks.

"I'm glad there was a corpsman there. He's the one who really saved Paul."

"That's not what I've been told. Regardless, I thank you and we will expect to see you at the cabin before long for some fishing."

"I wouldn't miss that."

They all exchanged phone numbers and Jethro promised to be in touch. He reminded Paul they were going sailing and the young Marine said he was looking forward to it. Jethro shook hands with Paul and his father but Mrs. Miller would settle for nothing less than a hug and a kiss on his cheek. Ducky and Jethro left the hospital and were soon on their way home.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 18

It was a beautiful spring day and Jethro was profoundly glad to be back on familiar ground. He didn't say anything all the way to his house but that was not unusual and Ducky wasn't bothered by his friend's silence. He knew Jethro had a lot on his mind. They pulled into the driveway just as Evelyn was coming out of her house to get her mail. She was very happy to see her favorite neighbor coming home. Jethro got out of the car and she came up to greet him.

"You are a sight for sore eyes Jethro! You look a little worse for the wear though. Are you alright?"

"Yes, Evelyn I'll be fine in no time. I've missed you. How're things here?"

"Quiet as usual. All your mail is on the kitchen table. Mostly junk of course. Now that you're home I'll fix a big pot of spaghetti sauce and bring it over. Some to freeze too."

"Thanks, that would be fantastic. Thanks for watching out for things too."

"You're home to stay right?"

"Absolutely."

"Good."

Evelyn started to go then turned back to Jethro and said, "Kate was here the morning you left. She just missed you in fact. We had a long talk, Jethro. That girl loves you. I hope you two can work things out."

Jethro wasn't sure what to say. The look Evelyn gave him when she said she'd had a long talk with Kate made him wonder if she'd told her about Shannon and Kelly. He reached out and took her hand.

"You told her?" He asked in a soft, careful voice and Evelyn was happy to note he didn't seem angry.

"Yes. I'm sorry if that upsets you. She was beside herself at having missed you. Please don't be angry with me, Jethro."

"I'm not. I'm kind of glad you told her in fact. Don't worry, things will be fine."

Evelyn gave him a quick hug and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you Jethro, welcome home. Please call if you need anything."

"I will. Love you too. See you later."

Jethro dug his keys out of his bag and he and Ducky went in the house. He couldn't wait to get some fresh air in the house and relax on his own couch. Ducky helped by opening some windows while Jethro had a look in the backyard. It felt like he'd been gone much longer than three weeks.

"Duck, I'd really like to take a shower. Can you cover my stitches with something so I don't get them wet?"

"Yes, if you have a good strong plastic bag I have some tape in my bag in the car. I'll get it. Do you need some help up the stairs?"

"No, I can make it. I'll get a Ziploc and meet you up there."

Ducky retrieved some waterproof tape from his bag and while he was outside he called Kate.

"Kate, I'm at Jethro's. Can you come over this afternoon?"

"Yes, I have to be at the office until one o'clock but I was planning to be there as soon as possible after that. Will that be okay?"

"That will fine. If I don't see you, I wish you good luck. I have a feeling this will all work out. But be prepared, it may take a while."

"I understand. I went over last night and dropped off some basic groceries so Jethro can have lunch at least. And coffee of course. Thank you Ducky."

"That's wonderful. I'll try and get him to eat something before I leave but I imagine he will want coffee for sure."

When Ducky got to Jethro's bedroom he found Jethro sitting on the end of the bed in his boxers examining his leg wound.

"It looks good Jethro. We'll need to cover that as well as the shoulder."

Jethro held up two Ziploc gallon size storage bags.

"Will these do?"

"Perfectly."

Ducky quickly taped the bags over both surgical sites making sure no water would penetrate them.

"I know you've done this before Jethro but just be sure to get minimal water on these. I'll be right here if you need help with anything."

"Thanks Duck."

Jethro got some clean boxers, sweats and a tee shirt and disappeared into his bathroom. Ducky soon heard the shower running and settled down to wait. He imagined Jethro would take his time and enjoy his first good shower in several days.

It felt so good to have hot water pounding down on his head that Jethro hated to get out of the shower but it was hard to maneuver without the use of his left arm so he didn't stay in as long as he would have liked. He had a fleeting thought that it would be much easier and more enjoyable if Kate was in there with him. Showering together was one of the things he liked most about having her stay with him. He let himself think for a moment about the fact that two of the people who knew him best, Evelyn and Ducky, both said he and Kate belonged together. Maybe they were right and he was wrong this time.

Asking for help was one of the things Jethro hated to do more than almost anything else but drying off completely with only one useful arm and on a bad leg was almost impossible. He managed to get mostly dry in the front at least and pulled on his boxers. Then he gave in and asked Ducky to help him and take off the plastic bags. Once that was accomplished Jethro contemplated shaving but he was getting tired and he didn't really feel like it so he decided to wait and do that some other time. Ducky redressed his surgical site and the leg wound.

"Feel better?"

"Lots. Hadn't had a real shower in quite a while. I think I'll go back downstairs and probably stay down there most of the time. I can't really sleep lying down so the couch is better than the bed."

"Yes, I imagine it is. Do I need to take down some pillows and covers?

"Pillows would be good. I have the rest down there already."

Once they got back downstairs Jethro went straight to the couch and sat down heavily. He was tired just from coming home and taking a shower. It had been quite a while since he'd had any significant injury and he'd forgotten how much rest the body needed when it was hurt. He knew he'd sleep on and off the rest of the day.

Ducky gave him the extra pillows and helped him get situated then brought him the mail Evelyn had put on the table. He made coffee and checked the fridge to see what was available to Jethro for lunch. There was lunch meat and cheese, beer and some ice cream in the freezer. Kate obviously knew what Jethro liked to eat. The coffee was finished and Ducky poured Jethro a mug full and took it to him in the living room.

"Thanks Duck."

"There's lunch meat and things in there for you to fix something to eat when you get hungry. Some beer and ice cream too."

"Thank you."

"Not me, Kate. She brought it over last night I guess. Yes, I called her and told her you had been hurt and were on your way home."

Jethro didn't say anything right away but soon he looked at Ducky and smiled.

"You're working pretty hard on this my friend."

"I only want what's best for you, Jethro. You know I love you and I want you to be happy. You were for a while but then whatever happened, happened and you have not been happy for months. If you can find that happiness again I will be delighted for you."

"Well, I'll certainly give it some serious thought, I promise."

"Good. Now, I should probably get to the Navy Yard. We have three bodies awaiting my attention."

"Three?"

"Yes, nothing sinister I assure you. Routine autopsies is all. Mr. Palmer has been out sick so I'm a bit behind. I'm very glad you're back Jethro. I would expect you will be back to work in a week or so."

"That's my plan. Look I know Abby at least will want to visit. Do you think you can convince her to wait until next week? I'd like to get through the next couple of days and the weekend before I have company. I may go see my dad next week."

"That sounds reasonable. I'll tell her."

Ducky made sure Jethro had his phone and the television remote within reach then he stepped toward the door.

"Call if you need anything."

"I will. And Evelyn's right next door. Thanks for everything Duck."

"My pleasure. Remember, stay off that leg as much as possible."

"Don't worry, I'll be right here."

Jethro went through his mail and, as usual it was mostly junk as Evelyn had said but there were two magazines; sailing and woodworking and those would help pass the time. Next he called his dad and let him know he was home. He minimized his injuries but admitted he was going to be off work for about a week. Jack asked if he needed to come down there and Jethro suggested he wait and promised he'd be up there to see him before he went back to work. He wasn't sure how he'd manage that but he would. Jack agreed but made Jethro promise to call him every day to let him know how he was doing. There was nothing on television he wanted to watch and he was getting hungry so Jethro made his way to the kitchen and fixed himself a ham and cheese sandwich. It gave him a strange sense of pleasure knowing Kate had been in his kitchen the night before.

He made his way back to the couch and when the sandwich and chips were gone he swallowed three Tylenol with a swig of water and got comfortable on the couch. He finally found an old John Wayne movie on television and settled back for a nap. He was sound asleep in a few minutes; the first really good sleep he'd had since he left for Afghanistan except for when he was knocked out with pain medication.

Shortly after Jethro succumbed to his fatigue and mental exhaustion, Kate let herself quietly in the front door. Ducky had called her and suggested Jethro might be asleep by the time she got there. She had knocked but when no one answered she let herself in. She was about to call out for him when she looked in the living room and saw Jethro sound asleep. He was sitting at the far end of the couch, a pillow on his left side to support his arm and shoulder and his feet propped up on a pillow on the coffee table.

Kate studied him for a few minutes. Even asleep he looked tired and she thought he'd lost weight. He obviously hadn't shaved in several days and his hair was growing out and messy. She could tell he had a bandage on his leg and of course his arm was in a sling. Even with all that he looked good to Kate. She had never known him to be so sound asleep; he normally would have awakened the moment she stepped in the house. The urge to go to him and kiss him was almost irresistible but Kate forced herself to leave him asleep and she went into the kitchen.

She didn't want to make any noise that would wake him up so Kate sat at the kitchen table and thought about what she was going to say when they finally talked. The first thing was to explain about what Jethro had seen at the Tavern. After that Kate wasn't sure what she'd say except that she loved him and wanted them to be together. When she couldn't sit still any longer she got up and rummaged in the cabinets until she found a brownie mix she'd left there months ago. She turned on the oven and as quietly as possible stirred up the brownies and put them in to bake. Kate sat at the table and thumbed through a magazine waiting for the brownies to bake or Jethro to wake up whichever came first.

The closing credits for the movie were playing when Jethro began to wake up. He opened his eyes and realized he had been dreaming about Kate. It had been a nice dream and he tried to remember as much of it as he could. Then he thought he smelled something baking and thought maybe Evelyn had come over with some goodies for him. Jethro pushed himself up and with the help of his crutch he hobbled toward the kitchen in hopes of a snack. He got more of a surprise than a snack, at least at first, but he wasn't going to complain.

Standing with her back to him taking something out of the oven was Kate. He waited for her to put the pan down so in case he startled her she didn't drop it and then he spoke.

"Kate?"

She hadn't heard him come in and she almost jumped out of her skin. She was almost afraid to turn around in case he was not happy to see her in his kitchen. She braced herself for disappointment and turned to face him.

"Hello, Jethro. Welcome home."

"Hello yourself. What are you doing here Kate?"

His question wasn't harsh or mean; he sounded genuinely surprised to see her.

"Ducky told me you were home and I came to see you. I didn't want to wake you. I hope you don't mind. Please tell me it's okay that I'm here."

Jethro was leaning heavily on his crutch because his leg was beginning to ache even from so little standing. Kate tried to read his expression but he wasn't giving anything away. Finally he spoke, his voice so soft she almost couldn't hear him.

"I don't mind, Katie. I'm glad to see you."

Kate moved to him and he reached for her with his one good arm. Carefully Kate wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his uninjured shoulder. Jethro was so overcome by the feel of her; the softness of her against him that he almost cried. He hadn't felt anything so sweet and good since that terrible night he had pushed her away. He held her for a few minutes, soaking in her scent and the how good it felt to have her arms around him. But too soon his leg protested and he knew he had to get off it.

"I need to sit down."

Kate stepped back immediately.

"Here or on the couch?"

"Couch."

Kate let him get there by himself, ready to help if he needed it. When he was seated and had his leg propped up Kate wasn't sure what to do. Jethro turned off the television and she took that to mean they would talk. She sat down on the coffee table facing him.

"Jethro, I know we need to talk."

"Not yet. Come here."

Jethro stretched out his hand for her. She let him pull her onto the couch and immediately she settled into his side. Jethro put his arm around her shoulders hugging her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

"Just want to hold you for a while."

Kate nearly cried with relief. No matter what else happened today at least he was glad to see her. She burrowed in as close as she could and felt truly secure for the first time in a long time.

Jethro had known for days that he wanted Kate back in his life. He admitted to himself on the plane home that he loved her and didn't want to be without her. His time in Afghanistan had reminded him that life is short and he needed to let go of the past. He knew he could easily have died on that mountain a few days ago and once he let himself think clearly about his life he knew he wanted to be happy. And Kate was the key to that happiness. But…..

He still believed most of what he had told her in the basement that fateful night. He didn't know if he had it in him to be a good husband or father. He honestly did not think himself capable of sustaining a marriage for the long term. And, he still worried about the age difference; maybe not right now but he would be an old man when Kate was still a middle-aged woman. There were just so many things he saw as being against them that he still feared taking the next step with Kate because he saw a lot of pain at what he thought of as the inevitable end of their relationship.

Whatever was going to be decided was not going be done today though. He knew he needed and wanted to have a long talk with Kate but he was not willing or even able to do that today.

After what seemed a long time, Jethro needed to shift his position so he loosened his grip on Kate enough that he could move around a little. When she started to move away he pulled her back. Kate rested her head back on his shoulder and her hand on his chest. Without raising her head she began to say what she needed to get out of her system.

"Jethro?"

"Uh-huh."

"The man you saw me with at the bar was Barbara's fiancé. Barbara is the woman you bumped into on your way out the door. I wasn't with a man. I was there with friends hoping I might run into you."

When Jethro didn't answer after what Kate thought was too long she sat up so she could look him in the eyes.

"Do you believe me?"

"Of course I do. You've never lied to me."

"Okay. I just wanted to be sure you knew that. I ran out to try and catch you after Barbara said she'd seen you but you were gone. I called but you didn't answer. I came over on Sunday and you had left. God, Jethro, I've been so worried about you. I hated that you thought I was with another man. I love you. You're the only man I want to be with."

She was crying now, tears streaming down her cheeks. Jethro let her finish then he pulled her to him with his hand on the back of her neck and he kissed her. He kissed her with all the pent up love and fear and need he'd been holding onto for so long. He kissed away her tears and then returned to her mouth and kissed away all her doubts. Only when they had to breathe did he let her go. Kate sat back and held his hand in hers. She didn't want to lose contact with him not even for a minute. She couldn't take her eyes off of him she was so happy to have him back.

"You talked to Evelyn?"

"Yes. I'm so sorry Jethro. Sorry about your family and your loss. I can't imagine how you went on."

"Not very well most of the time. Do you have any questions?"

"What about the man who killed them?"

That wasn't what Jethro was expecting. He appreciated the fact that Kate didn't hesitate to ask though.

"He's dead."

There was no doubt in her mind how that had been taken care of.

"Whatever you want to tell me I want to hear but I don't have to know anything you can't talk about. I understand more now and I'm glad I know about Shannon and Kelly. I'm glad because they're part of who you are, Jethro and I love you. No one will ever take their place in your heart. I just hope you can find space for me in there too."

"I can. I have."

Jethro wasn't sure where that response had come from but it was out there now and there was nothing he could do about it. Maybe he didn't want to do anything.

Kate wasn't sure what that meant and for now it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Jethro was home safe and they were together.

"Ducky said something about there being ice cream in the freezer. Don't suppose we could have some with a brownie?"

"We most certainly can. I'll go fix it right now."

Kate kissed him and for a few minutes he forgot about ice cream and brownies.

While Kate was in the kitchen Jethro tried to decide what he wanted to do next. He knew they needed to talk things out but he didn't seem to have the energy for that right now. All he really wanted to do was hold Kate and satisfy himself that she was truly back to stay. Of course he knew full well that he was the reason she had been gone in the first place. Jethro still believed in the deepest part of his soul that he was not the best choice for Kate but after all that had happened part of him didn't care about that.

At the same time Jethro was figuring out what to do next, Kate was telling herself to go slowly and let him set the pace. She wanted to get all the talking done and out of the way so they could get on with their lives; and so she'd know exactly what that was going to mean, but she knew Jethro wasn't likely to move that quickly. She decided to take control of the situation and at the same time let him know she was not going to push him for answers and conversation. Besides, she had to admit that she had other things she'd rather be doing with him than talking. Conversation might not be Jethro's strong suit but he certainly had plenty of other things he was good at and she was more interested in taking advantage of some of those skills. Talking could wait.

As Kate turned around to head to the living room with two bowls of ice cream and brownies, Jethro appeared in the doorway.

"How can you sneak up on me in your condition?"

"You're not paying attention. I thought we could sit outside if that's okay."

"Good idea. It's too nice to be in the house today."

They made their way to the deck and settled at the table. It was a warm day and Jethro felt so much better outside even though he couldn't get out in the yard and do the things he saw that needed doing.

"What day of the week is it anyway?"

"Thursday."

Jethro noted the worried look on Kate's face.

"Don't worry I'm not addled. I just haven't paid any attention to what day it was for so long I didn't know. If it's Thursday why aren't you at work?"

"Because you're home and you're hurt and need someone to stay with you for a few days."

"Ahh. Ducky again."

"Yes. I took today and tomorrow off in case you were okay with me staying with you. Ducky said you shouldn't move the shoulder for a couple more days at least. Are you alright with me staying over to help you?"

"You don't need to do that."

Jethro was suddenly feeling crowded. He was a little surprised at himself but somehow it just didn't feel right to have Kate making decisions about staying with him before she even knew what he wanted. He didn't look at her because he knew she was hurt and he didn't want to see that.

"I don't mind, Jethro. I want to be here with you and help you."

"I don't need help Kate. I can manage by myself. It's not as if I haven't done it before."

"Are you saying you don't want me here?"

"You and I haven't seen or talked to each other in months. Surely you don't expect to just pick up where we left off."

Kate was stunned. His initial greeting had been so warm and loving and now he was telling her they weren't even close to being back together. She forced herself to stay calm and think before she responded.

"I guess you're right. Can we talk about things though?"

"Not today. I agree we need to talk and we will but I can't say when I'll be ready to do that."

"What? I don't understand what's happened in the last few minutes. What was all that on the couch and in the kitchen? Now you won't even talk about us? What the hell, Jethro!"

She hadn't meant to get angry and to be honest she was mostly scared and hurt but that translated to anger.

"Look Kate, a few days ago I came within about two feet of being blown to pieces on some godforsaken mountain in Afghanistan. I watched a young man I had come to care about almost bleed to death in my arms. I'm not ready to talk about us. If that's a problem for you then I'm sorry but that's the way it is."

Jethro pushed his ice cream bowl away and stood up to go back in the house. Kate was stunned by his outburst and didn't move until he was out of sight. She took some deep breaths and gathering the bowls she went back inside. She went into the kitchen, washed their bowls and spoons and put them away. She heard the toilet flush, water running and then Jethro going back to the couch. Kate stood in the kitchen for a long time trying to decide what to say to him. She felt as though she had been dismissed but she didn't want to leave.

In the living room, Jethro sat on the couch with his head back on the cushion and his eyes closed. He knew he had hurt Kate's feelings but he had only told her the truth. Being home felt great but he knew the next few days were going to be difficult as he decompressed from his time in Afghanistan. Even though he had been there a very short time what he had seen and experienced had had a profound impact on him. He knew from experience that coming home took some adjustments; some time to feel more balanced. Kate would either understand and accept that or she wouldn't. It was up to her how she handled it.

Kate went in the living room and sat on the couch a ways away from Jethro. He looked so tired and stressed that she was worried about him. Maybe his time over there had been rougher than she'd been led to believe. Now she really didn't want to leave him.

"Jethro, I'm sorry if I was pushing. I know you need time to wind down and I wasn't giving you that time. I also know that I have a lot of explaining to do about the last few months. All that can wait. I can wait. What you have to hear right now is that I love you. I worry about you, I want to be here for you. But most of all, I love you and I will never stop loving you. You can trust that if you don't trust anything else. I don't want to go and leave you here alone."

"I'll be fine, Katie. Don't worry about me."

"Why do you have to do this by yourself? Why can't I just stay and be here if you need me?"

"I don't know if I can explain it. Maybe I don't even know myself. I just need some time alone. A couple of days to unwind and get my head straight again. I need to go see my dad for a few days. And, I need to get back to work."

"Jethro, please don't shut me out of your life."

"I'm not. Just let me work this out on my end so when we talk I can be straight with you."

"Can I at least come by and check on you?"

Jethro looked at her and saw that she was trying very hard not to cry; she knew how much he hated it when she cried.

"Yes, if you want to. I'd like that."

Kate couldn't make herself get up and leave. They sat there on the couch not talking; just sitting and thinking their own thoughts.

Jethro reached out his hand to her and she let him pull her closer.

"Stay a little while?"

"Of course."

Kate was confused and bit miffed that he was sending her away one minute and puller her closer the next. She decided to accept what Jethro could give her at the moment and not judge too harshly. She scooted closer and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Kate felt him relax into the cushions and soon he was asleep. She willed herself to relax with him and soon her breathing was in sync with his and they were both sound asleep.

TBC

A/N: Two more chapters to go. Will most likely post them both tomorrow.


	19. Chapter 19

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 19

For the next three days Kate came and went from Jethro's house several times but she did not spend the night and didn't stay for more than two or three hours at a time. Jethro seemed to be managing fine on his own and she did her best not to hover. He was very quiet most of the time and she wondered what he was thinking about. Kate brought dinner in the evenings and they watched television or sat and talked about what she was doing at work. Jethro said he was anxious to get back to work before Tony got too comfortable as the team leader.

As far as Jethro was concerned he was glad to have Kate coming and going and he was always happy to see her. She wasn't pushing him to talk about things and Jethro was reminded that that was one of the qualities he most liked about Kate. She was being very patient and he appreciated that. He spent a lot of time thinking about how they had been together and what had attracted him to Kate in the first place. He was beginning to accept the fact that he really did love her and didn't want to let her go. He just couldn't let himself pull the trigger and go all in with her.

On Sunday afternoon while they were sitting on the deck eating lunch Jethro told Kate he was leaving the next day to go to Stillwater and spend a few days with his father.

"I thought you had a doctor's appointment on Monday."

"I do but that's at nine o'clock. I'll leave after that."

"Are you supposed to be driving?"

"Don't see why not. My leg is practically healed; no pain or stiffness except first thing in the morning. I can drive with one arm just fine."

Kate didn't say anything else. He wasn't going to be dissuaded anyway and she didn't want to start an argument.

Jethro watched her struggle to keep her thoughts to herself and smiled at her when she looked up and found him watching her.

"What?"

"Go ahead and say what you're thinking, Katie. I can take it."

"I was just thinking you are the most stubborn, maddening, obtuse man alive but I love you anyway."

"That is not what you were thinking!"

"Well, maybe I was just thinking the stubborn part but I meant the rest of it too."

They laughed and the sound of it made Kate feel good. They used to laugh a lot with each other but these last few days there hadn't been much laughter between them. She missed that. And she missed being with Jethro. She missed his touch and the feel of him against her body. She wanted desperately for them to be close again and her patience was running out. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"Now what are you thinking?"

Kate looked him in the eye and decided to tell the truth this time.

"That I miss you. That I miss us. I miss the way you make me feel when you touch me. I miss the way it feels to have you all around me, inside me, loving me."

The air between them fairly crackled with tension. Jethro didn't say anything and his eyes never left hers. He too was missing their physical relationship and he wanted her in the worst way. Without thinking about it any longer he stood up and reached for her hand.

"I think we can fix all that."

Kate went to him and he kissed her with an urgency she hadn't felt from him but a very few times when they were together. When he let her breathe he led her into the house without a word and upstairs to the bedroom.

Suddenly they were in a hurry but Kate worried about his shoulder. She eased his shirt off and Jethro tossed the sling on a chair.

"What about . . ?"

He silenced her with another kiss and she forgot all about his shoulder. Jethro winced when he moved his arm the first few times but he wasn't paying it much attention. All his attention was focused on the woman before him. His only concession to his shoulder was that Kate was on top; not a bad thing if you asked him. They explored one another eagerly and the months apart fell away as they touched and tasted familiar pleasure points. When Kate finally rose above him and took him inside herself Jethro decided maybe he'd found a new favorite position.

Coming back to earth, Kate lay beside him tracing random designs on his chest. Lying on his back, Jethro stared at the ceiling and asked himself why he couldn't just give in and let Kate stay with him. He liked having her in the house and he surely liked having her in his bed so what was the problem? The problem was he didn't trust himself to not screw it up. He didn't really believe he was the man she should tie herself to for the rest of her life and he knew in his heart that is exactly what she wanted to do. No, he told himself, he wasn't ready to let that happen.

As nice as it was to have Kate draped all over him, touching him, he didn't want to fall asleep on his back because it put too much pressure on his still sore shoulder. Jethro shifted and started to roll onto his right side.

"Gotta get off my shoulder."

Kate moved over and let him get comfortable then she scooted back against him and Jethro draped his left arm carefully over her waist. He nuzzled her hair and pulled her top leg back between his.

"Better?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Neither one of them really wanted to talk and before long Kate knew Jethro was asleep. She had never known him to sleep so much and once again she wondered what had really gone on in Afghanistan. Then she wondered if Jethro had had as much trouble sleeping the last few months as she had. If so, then maybe having her back in his bed and his house was helping him. She sure hoped so because it was helping her and if she had to leave again she was sure it would destroy her.

Jethro slept for almost an hour. Kate lay in his arms luxuriating in their closeness and the feel of his warm body pressed so tightly against hers. She made up her mind in that hour to do whatever it took to convince Jethro they belonged together. If that meant enlisting some help she was willing to do that. Ducky was clearly on her side and she felt that Evelyn would also be a good ally. She wondered about Jethro's father. She had never met Jackson but she knew he and Jethro were pretty close. They had some difficult times a few years ago but Jethro had often spoken about his dad and it was always positive. Kate was thinking about how she might enlist his help when Jethro suddenly moved pulling her over on her back and kissing her.

"Hi."

"Hi yourself. Good nap?"

"Yes, thanks to you. But, I need to get up. Can you give me a hand?"

"Sure."

Kate got up and pulled Jethro into a sitting position on the side of the bed. She retrieved his tee shirt and sling and helped him get both on. Then she found her own clothes and got dressed. Jethro watched her as he pulled on his boxers and shorts.

"I think I'll go home. I have some things to do to get ready for work tomorrow. Do you need any help getting ready to go to Stillwater?"

"No, I'll just throw some clothes in a bag. Katie, I'm sorry."

She turned around and looked at him surprised at what had just come out of his mouth.

"For what?"

"Sorry I can't give you what you want."

"I think you just did about an hour ago."

"Not what I mean."

"You mean right now or ever?"

"Don't know. Certainly not now and maybe not ever."

"Jethro, please don't talk like that. You said you needed time to get your head straight and I'm more than willing to give you whatever time you need. I'm not going to walk away from you. I won't let you go without a fight so if you're thinking of giving up on us you better be ready for a battle."

"Fair enough."

"Jethro, how can you make love to me like you just did and then sit there and contemplate letting what we have together get away from us? I just simply do not understand that."

"Me either."

He looked forlorn and almost defeated and Kate was once again baffled by the changes Jethro seemed to go through almost from hour to hour. One minute he was loving her and the next he was telling her he didn't think they would make it. She was more confused every time he opened his mouth.

"Jethro, I hope you have a good visit with your dad and that you come home ready to talk to me about our future. I love you. I'm going home now and I'll call you tomorrow night if that's alright."

"Of course it's alright. Katie, I'll be ready to talk when I come home I promise."

Kate kissed him goodbye and left before she could change her mind. At the moment she wanted to throttle him so she knew she needed to leave.

Jethro wandered around his house after Kate left feeling worse than he had in a long time. He was angry with himself because he kept pulling away from Kate when he didn't really want to. He was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with him; something that kept him from letting go and accepting Kate fully into his life. He wondered why it always had to be so hard to be happy.

The next morning Jethro went to the hospital to see his doctor and check up on Captain Miller. The doctor checked Jethro's shoulder and gave him the go ahead to move his arm as much as he felt comfortable doing. He cautioned against overdoing it and urged Jethro to continue to use the sling at least part of the day. He gave Jethro some exercises to do at home and told him to come back only if he had a problem or pain after a week's time. Jethro thanked him and headed off to find Paul Miller.

"Hey Marine, when are you going to get off your backside and get back to work?"

"Hey Jethro, how are you?"

"I'm fine Paul, what about you? Getting out of here pretty soon?"

"Tomorrow as a matter of fact. Going home to my parent's house for a while and then as soon as I'm up to it I'll be at the cabin. Still want to do some fishing?"

"Absolutely. You just give me a call. I'm glad you're doing so well. Will you be going back?"

"Don't know for sure. My tour was about up so I'll be back at Quantico for a while once I'm recovered."

"Good. I'll be able to keep an eye on you then. You take care and call me about the fishing."

Jethro shook hands with the young Captain and was about to leave when Paul called out to him.

"Jethro, thank you. My guys said I wouldn't have made it if you hadn't been so quick to get to me. Thanks."

"You're welcome. I can't stand to lose a Marine; especially one with a cabin in the mountains."

Both men laughed but they knew the deadly seriousness of what they were saying. Jethro walked out and headed to his truck and the drive to Stillwater feeling very good about the young Marine Captain he had helped save.

Jackson Gibbs was thrilled to see his only son walk in the door of his general store. It was obvious to him that Jethro, or Leroy as only he called him, had had a rough few weeks. He could tell his son had lost weight, hadn't had a haircut in a long time and he still limped and had one arm in a sling.

"Leroy, you are a sight. I'm glad to see you. Come on over here and let me look at you."

Jackson wrapped his son in a gentle hug and Jethro finally felt like he was home and on solid ground. He knew his dad was going to spoil him and bully him and generally take care of him for as long as he stayed in Stillwater. Jack was the only person Jethro allowed to do that. They had often had a stormy relationship but in the past few years they had grown very close and Jethro depended on his dad for his wise counsel and unconditional love. Again, Jack was the only person Jethro allowed to give him those things except maybe Ducky. Deep down inside he knew he needed to add Kate to that short list and he was hoping his father would have some advice on how to do that.

Jethro took his bag up to his old bedroom and stretched out on the bed. He hated that he was so tired simply from going to the hospital and driving up there. He might hate it but he couldn't fight it and before too long he was sound asleep. His dad came up a couple of hours later just as Jethro was stirring.

"You hungry?"

Jethro couldn't believe he'd slept so long.

"Yeah, I could eat. Whatcha got cookin'?"

"Thought I'd put some steaks on the grill. You know, celebrate you coming home. How's that sound?"

"Perfect. I'll be down in a minute to help."

"Take your time. I just lit the fire so we have time for a drink first."

Later, sitting on Jack's small back patio, Jethro sipped his bourbon and inhaled the cigar his father had given him when the steaks were gone and the dishes cleaned up.

"Best steak I've had in a long time, Dad. Thanks."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you're home, Leroy. You let me know when you're ready to talk about it."

"Which 'it' are you referring to?"

Jethro had a smirk on his face but his dad couldn't see it in the dark. He could hear the good humor in his son's voice however and that made him feel good.

"Whichever one you want to start with; Kate, Afghanistan, bad memories. Just pick one and get it out son so you can go on."

It didn't surprise Jethro that his dad was so attuned to his psyche and his need to unload. After all, Jack had known him all his life. Jethro liked to think he would have understood Kelly just as well. Staring up at the stars he could never see in DC, Jethro reflected on the fact that when he came here he was always reminded that no matter how old he was he was still somebody's child. No matter his age or experience he was still Jackson Gibbs' son. That was a comfort most of the time and tonight was definitely one of those times. He considered where to start and decided to start with the easiest; Afghanistan.

"It wasn't so bad over there. I mean, I was only there for three weeks. It's a hostile place that's for sure and I'm not all that certain of what we're doing but the guys I was with are top notch."

Jethro went on to tell his father about some of the men he met and worked with. He didn't give any details of missions of course but told his father in general terms what he'd done while he was there. In the end he wound up talking mostly about Captain Miller and tried to gloss over the ambush and it's aftermath.

"You were hurt in the ambush I guess. What about the rest of the guys?

"No one got killed. Miller got shot up and broke his leg pretty bad but he's going to be alright. I saw him this morning in fact and he's going home tomorrow."

Jethro told his dad about the cabin in West Virginia and his promise to take Paul sailing.

"I'm sure you're leaving out the bad stuff and that's okay. Just so you know I can hear it if you need to say it out loud. I know what it's like to have that inside and it's better out in the open. I know you know that too."

"Yeah, I do. Really, Dad it wasn't too bad. I'm glad I'm not there though I can tell you that. But I sure wish all those young guys were home too."

That was all Jethro wanted to say for the night. They finished their drinks and Jackson headed for bed saying he had to be up early to open the store.

"We could go fishing tomorrow afternoon if you feel like it. I have a young man who comes in to help out and he could cover the store."

"I'd like that. Night dad."

"Goodnight Leroy."

At two o'clock the next afternoon Jethro and his dad loaded their fishing gear into the back of the truck and struck out for their favorite fishing hole. The Gibbs men had been fishing together since Jethro was old enough to hold a fishing pole. His father was an expert fisherman and passed his love of the outdoors onto his son. The family had enjoyed many wonderful suppers of fried fish fresh from the lake near their house while Jethro was growing up. As soon as he was old enough to handle a knife his dad taught him to filet the fish and Jethro had been in love with fishing and all things related ever since. There was hardly a better time or place to gather your thoughts and examine your feelings than when you were parked under a shade tree waiting for a fish to bite.

Jackson had taken his son fishing for so long he couldn't remember a time they didn't go together. After Jethro's mother died, fishing was the thing that held them together. They would take their gear and disappear for hours, sometimes overnight, and even if they never talked about their loneliness and fears, they felt better when they went home. Today, Jethro knew, he would find a way to talk to his father about Kate and hopefully his father could give him the insight he so desperately needed to make a decision about his future.

They had four nice trout on the stringer when Jethro finally told his dad he needed to talk to him about Kate.

"I figured you did. Have you seen her since you got home ?"

"Yes. She came over the day I went home from the hospital. Ducky called her."

"Ah. So Ducky likes her. Figures he'd try and get you two back together in that case. Were you glad to see her?"

"I was. I've missed her a lot. More than I wanted to admit. She wanted to stay with me. Help me out. I told her no and made her go home."

"Bet she didn't like that. How'd she take it?"

"Pretty good actually. She came over a couple of times a day and stayed for an hour or two but then she'd go."

"Leroy, does she know about Shannon and Kelly?"

"Yes, Evelyn told her the day I left. Kate came to see me that day but I'd already gone and Evelyn saw her and I guess they talked and Evelyn thought she should know."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I'm okay with it. I would have told her but maybe this is better. She's had some time to think about it. Said it helped her understand things."

"When you left here after Christmas you said the two of you were going to talk about things and work things out. What happened to that?"

"She never called me when she got home. She had said she would but she never did."

Jethro stopped to reel in his line and put on a fresh worm. His dad was studying the lake and giving him the time to work out how much he wanted to say about Kate not calling. Jethro cast his line back out and got himself a cold drink out of the cooler.

"You know before she left at Christmas she asked me to think about some things about us and she'd call when she got back so we could figure stuff out. She never called. I guessed she got home and listened to her mother and came to agree with her that I wasn't the best choice she could make. Hell, I agreed with her mother myself so why shouldn't she? Anyway she didn't call and neither did I. I wanted to but I just couldn't do it. I had pretty much told her goodbye that night and I didn't want to have to do it again."

"So, why didn't she call?"

"I don't know. I haven't asked. I'm not sure it matters now. She says she loves me and want us to be together so maybe it doesn't matter you know?"

"Only matters if you need to know I suppose. The only thing that matters now is do you love her? Leroy, do you love this woman?"

The only sound was the rustle of the wind in the trees and the birds talking back and forth. Jackson reeled in a nice size fish and added it to the stringer. He baited his line and cast back into the still water.

"That shouldn't be too hard a question by now. You've had a long time to think about it. I imagine that's just what you've done for the past few months. Forget all the others, Leroy. Forget what might happen. Forget what 'could have been'. Focus on the here and now and answer me, do you love Kate?"

"More than I thought possible. I love her and I've known that for a long time. That's not the problem. Or maybe it is actually. I don't want Kate to get hurt, dad. I don't want to disappoint her. I want her to have everything she wants; kids, a good husband, a happy life. Do you really think I'm the man to give all that to her?"

"I know she won't find a better man and that's a fact. I don't what happened with those three women you married after Shannon and I don't think that matters. I know the kind of husband you were to Shannon and if you love Kate anywhere near like you loved Shannon, and I suspect you do, then you'll be a fine husband to her. You might screw up now and then but so what? No one's perfect, Leroy. I doubt you'll disappoint her. She's known you for a while now and I suspect she knows what she's getting herself into. Don't be a martyr about this because you think you need to save her from herself. That's taking way to much credit for knowing what's best. I suspect Ms. Todd can figure out for herself what's best for her."

"She seems to think she can and she seems pretty sure that's me."

"You trust this lady?"

"Yes. I'd trust her with my life."

"You say she's smart and tough and easy on the eyes?"

"She's all that, yes."

"Then what in the hell are you worried about? Leroy, you have been alone for a long time. Shannon is gone. You need to let yourself be happy. Kate makes you happy doesn't she?"

"Yes."

"Then you need to wake up and smell the coffee son. You need to tell Kate how you feel about her and hang onto her with everything you have. Have a couple of kids and be happy. Give her all those things you say she deserves. Trust her to know her own mind and heart. Trust yourself."

Jethro didn't say anything else while the fishing afternoon came to a close. He and his dad cleaned the fish together and that night Jethro fried them up in his mom's old cast iron skillet. It was the best meal he'd had in a long time. The next couple of days Jethro concentrated on exercising his arm and walking as much as he could to get his leg back in shape. He was beginning to feel more like himself and almost ready to go home. On Friday evening as he and his dad were enjoying a beer on the back porch he told his dad about the nightmares he had been having before he got to Stillwater.

"They were pretty much the same as the ones I used to have about Kuwait and Shannon and Kelly. Some about just Kelly. I haven't had any up here so I'm hoping that's over with."

"That another reason you didn't want Kate staying with you?"

"Probably."

"You know Leroy, if Kate loves you as much as she says she does she won't be scared off by your nightmares. Since she knows about your family she will understand. You just don't want her to see you hurting. You gotta get over that, son. You gotta let her in and let her take care of you when you need it. There's nothing sweeter than having the woman you love take care of you, believe me, I know."

"Whatta ya mean?"

"When I came back from the war I had my own nightmares. Your momma held me many a night while I relived flying through flak and seeing my buddies shot down. Once I let her know what was going on with me the nightmares got less and less until they stopped altogether. Don't insult Kate by keeping your pain to yourself."

"I had no idea you knew so much about women, dad."

Jackson laughed with his son and said, "I still have a few things to teach you I guess."

"Thank god. This has been a great week dad. I know what I need to do when I get home and I appreciate all your help. I knew I could count on you."

"Always. I love you Leroy and I want nothing more in the world than for you to find happiness and have your own family again. If Kate is the woman to make that happen then I hope you find the courage to hang onto her."

"I'm planning to do just that as soon as I get home."

Jethro left Stillwater early on Saturday morning after sharing coffee and homemade biscuits with his father. In a way he hated to go because he recognized his father was getting older and could probably use some help now and then. Jackson reminded his son that he had plenty of friends he could call on for help and he knew Jethro was just a phone call away too. Jethro hugged his father and said goodbye. Jackson wished him luck with Kate and told him to call when he got home.

TBC

A/N: Just one more chapter to go and it will be posted right away.


	20. Chapter 20

**I Didn't Mean to Love You**

Chapter 20

All the way home Jethro thought about what he would say to Kate. He played and replayed the conversation-at least his side of it-in his head, but nothing sounded right to him. Talking wasn't really his strong suit with women or with anyone for that matter. He preferred to let his actions speak for him but he knew he and Kate had some things that needed to be said and heard by the other person. He promised himself he would tell her what she needed to hear and listen to what she needed to say.

But the closer he got to home the less he wanted to talk to Kate. He wanted to see her; very much in fact, but talking was not what he wanted. He missed her. He knew exactly how he felt about their situation; he wanted her, he loved her and he wasn't nearly man enough to let her go. And, he told himself, he could live with that. He didn't think he could live without Kate however. So, with that reality recognized and accepted and his father's advice echoing in his head, Jethro was more than eager to get home.

When Jethro got home he pulled in his driveway and called his dad to let him know he was there safe and sound.

"Have you talked to Kate yet?"

Jethro laughed; his dad was almost as anxious as he was.

"Not yet. Just got to the house."

"Why aren't you at her house? Don't let any grass grow under your feet, Leroy. Go see her and get this thing straightened out. I want some grandkids while I'm young enough to enjoy them!"

"Whoa dad, let's not get carried away!"

"You're not getting any younger Leroy. Go on now, drive over there and see Kate. Goodbye."

Jethro looked at the dead phone in his hand. He shook his head and put the car in reverse and headed to Kate's house. He thought about calling ahead but decided to surprise her and, as his father said, get things straightened out.

When Kate answered the door, Jethro was about the last person she expected to find standing on her front porch. She hadn't heard from him since he left town and she had no reason to think he would turn up on a Saturday afternoon. She barely had time to say hello before he stepped into her and kissed her. Surprised as she was, she didn't hesitate to hold on and kiss him back. She took a tentative step backward and Jethro followed, kicking the door closed behind him and never breaking their kiss. As soon as they were inside he turned her around and pressed her back against the door. He hadn't meant to greet her in exactly this way but once he saw her he couldn't stop himself. All his doubts were gone the moment he saw her and he had to have her sooner rather than later.

Kate was surprised at this turn of events but certainly not unhappy with Jethro's greeting. She might have appreciated a little warning that he was coming over because she was in the middle of cleaning house and didn't look very good. She was wearing cutoff sweat pants and an old tee shirt. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail and she had on not one bit of makeup. At the moment though, Jethro didn't seem to notice and she couldn't bring herself to care.

Jethro's mouth had left hers and was now making a trail down her throat while his hands were snaking up under her shirt to discover she was not wearing a bra. His hands came to rest on her breasts and his mouth returned to hers in a greedy, demanding kiss. He was pressing her against the door and she welcomed the feel of him, the urgency of his kiss and the way it felt to have his hands on her again. She pushed back against him and ran her hands up under his shirt to hold him in place.

Eventually they had to breathe and Jethro very reluctantly pulled back and relaxed his hold on her.

"Hello, Jethro." Kate could barely talk but someone had to say something so she decided to start.

"Hey, Katie."

They stood there against the door, foreheads touching and hands exploring while they gained back their collective breath.

"When did you get home?"

"Just now."

Jethro was looking her in the eyes when he said that and his voice was soft and full of emotion. Kate felt tears well in her eyes and the next thing she knew Jethro was kissing them away.

"I came to talk to you but when I saw you all I could think about was how much I've missed you. How much I want you."

Kate laced her fingers with his and started down the hall, "Then I think talking can wait."

Jethro followed with a smile on his face and a lightness in his heart that had been missing for a very long time.

Kate had never had the smallest complaint about Jethro as a lover. He was always attentive to her, generous with his affection and never demanded anything more than what she had to give him. But this time something was different; more intense maybe but that wasn't totally it either. She sensed he was more open to her. More at ease with them together. She couldn't really put her finger on it and as she lay all tangled in the sheet with her very satisfied lover, she decided she didn't need to figure out the difference. She was just going to enjoy it.

Jethro also knew something was different between them now. He was always happy with Kate in bed and making love to her had always been more than he thought he deserved. But this time he felt like a new person with her. A place inside him that had been locked up for so long was open now. That place where he kept his memories of Shannon was no longer blocking his emotions. He had finally allowed himself to have what he wanted and he wanted only Kate. Those small places in his mind that told him he wasn't worthy of her love, wasn't ever going to be able to keep her; those places didn't exist anymore. Whatever his failures in the past had meant to him, it didn't matter now. He was finally with a woman he truly loved and who truly loved him in return. Of course he didn't intellectually know all that and never in a million years would he be able to figure it out. All he knew today was that when he made love to Kate he felt free and loved and whole for the first time in a very, very long time. Whatever had been broken in him was fixed.

As much as she hated to break the spell, Kate had to say something. She shifted around to be able to look at Jethro when she spoke to him. Her hand was drawing lazy circles on his chest and at that moment she felt like she never wanted to let him out of her sight. She propped her head on her free hand and kissed him softly on the mouth.

"Jethro, did you think something was different with us this time?"

Jethro was barely able to form a coherent thought much less put that thought into words he was so pleasantly exhausted.

"Uh-huh."

"Is that all you can say?"

"Pretty much. Give me a minute."

Kate began letting her hand drift lower and her mouth was now on his chest. This wasn't going to make it any easier for him to converse with her. Finally he stopped her wandering hand and moved it back up to his chest.

"Yes, something was different. Can't explain it though. Can you?"

"No. I think we still need to talk."

Jethro shifted his position and Kate sat up. He sat up against the headboard and pulled her onto his lap. His hands skimmed down her arms, back up and then into her hair as he pulled her into a long, slow kiss. When he let her go, Kate slipped off the bed and headed for the bathroom

"Be right back. Don't go anywhere."

Hardly anything could have moved Jethro from that bed at that moment. He did reach down and retrieve his boxers and put them on. Kate emerged from the bathroom wearing her tee shirt and panties.

"I can't have a serious conversation with you while I'm sitting naked on your lap."

Jethro laughed. As if those two skimpy garments would really deter him.

Kate climbed back on the bed and into his lap.

"Now, where shall we start?"

"I really only have one question. Why didn't you ever call when you came home after Christmas?"

Kate had asked herself that same thing many times and she still didn't have a good answer.

"I'm not sure. I listened to my mother talk about how you didn't seem to want to commit to us and how I wanted kids and maybe you didn't and I guess I sort of started to believe it. I really, honestly don't know, Jethro. Then after a while it just got to be so long and I thought since you didn't try to contact me you were okay with us being apart. I know it doesn't really make sense. I'm very sorry, Jethro. I missed you terribly and I never stopped loving you. I just screwed up. Can you forgive me?"

In truth, the reasons for Kate not calling didn't matter anymore. Jethro just wanted to know if there was a specific reason she hadn't called.

"Nothing to forgive. We both screwed up. I have something to say and you know I'm not always good at saying what I mean so bear with me."

Jethro closed his eyes for a few moments and took a deep breath. He'd given a lot of thought to what he wanted to say; thought about it most of the way home that day in fact. Now he had Kate right in front of him and he needed a minute to get his thoughts in order.

"When I saw you in the bar that night with Ducky it scared me how much I enjoyed seeing you again. Then when we started seeing each other I really liked it and I thought we'd do that for a while and then you'd go on to someone else. I thought I was okay with that. Turns out I'm not. I didn't mean to love you Katie, but god help me I do. So much. Even though a part of me says I should let you go so you could be with someone better I can't do it. I don't ever want to let you go. I love you."

Kate was speechless. She had wanted so desperately for Jethro to love her and now he did. She reached out and touched his face with her fingertips.

"You know I love you Jethro. Even if you tried to make me go I wouldn't. I won't ever leave you. You are the best man I know and you are more than I deserve but I don't care, I'm keeping you."

They spent the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday in bed together. There were occasional breaks to shower together or eat something but for the most part they spent the weekend making love, talking, holding each other and generally enjoying being in love. When Sunday night came, Jethro suggested he needed to go home so he could get ready for work in the morning.

"Don't you have a go bag in the car? For that matter, you said you never went in the house when you got home so don't you have clothes you took to your dad's?

"They're all dirty but yes, I have a go bag in the car. Problem solved. Now, what about tomorrow night and all the nights after that? I don't want to sleep alone anymore, Katie."

"Me either. I guess we can just go back to what we were doing before, you know spending the nights at each other's houses."

"Don't want to do that."

They were on the couch together having finally spent several hours out of the bed. Jethro had his head in her lap and Kate was running one hand all over his chest and the other one through his hair and occasionally leaning down to kiss him.

"What do you want to do then?"

"Will you move in with me?"

Her hands stilled and she closed her eyes. Jethro looked up at her wondering if he had said the wrong thing.

"You don't. . ."

Kate silenced him with her hand on his mouth.

"Yes."

"You will?"

"You sure you want to do this so soon?"

"Doesn't feel soon to me. Feels like I've waited years for you Katie. Yes, I'm sure. I'm not letting you go and I'm not going anywhere."

Jethro sat up and moved to sit on the coffee table in front of Kate. He studied her face for a few moments then gave her a quick, light kiss.

"Stay right there I'll be back."

He was out the door in a flash then Kate heard the truck door slam and he was back. He dropped his go bag on the floor, returned to sitting in front of her and took her hands in his. Jethro didn't stop to think he simply acted. He followed his father's advice and listened to his heart and his gut. Those things never let him down.

"Katie, will you marry me?"

Kate was astonished to say the least. She had only dreamed of this happening; she certainly never thought it would happen so soon. She didn't need to think about it.

"Yes, I will marry you."

Jethro reached into his bag and withdrew a cigar his dad had sent with him. He pulled off the ring and slipped it on Kate's finger.

"Until we go shopping for the real thing."

"It's perfect. I love you Jethro, more than I will ever be able to tell you."

"I love you more."

Kate pulled Jethro on the couch with her and kissed him for all she was worth. When they had to take a breath, Jethro brushed his thumbs over her swollen lips.

"I have one more question."

"What?"

"You know those kids you didn't think I wanted, when do you think we can we get started on them?"

Kate laughed until tears ran down her face. Jethro just looked at her with his famous smirk in place.

"We started on those yesterday afternoon, lover."

The End

A/N: Yes, that is the end. No epilogue or sequel is coming. You can imagine what happens-they get married and have kids and live happily ever after! Thanks for reading and sending reviews and comments.


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